Backslider's Wine

If We Knew Then What We Know Now, Would It Make Any Difference?

2006-12-27T20:08:00.000-06:00

P.Z. Myers got me to thinking.

Last Monday evening, my mother called me with the news that my paternal grandfather had shot himself. His health had been getting increasingly worse over the past 15 or so years, various heart and lung ailments stemming from years of smoking and unsafe working conditions. He'd been using an oxygen tank since I was in high school and even sitting in front of the television exhausted him physically.

I never was close to my paternal grandfather, not in the way I was with my maternal grandfather, my Poppaw Bean. As a small child, I worshiped Poppaw Bean and despite the last five years of his life lost to Alzheimer's, I cried when they laid him in the clay some 13 years ago. But Poppaw Thompson, it just wasn't the same. Part of it lay in the fact we lived in Northeast Mississippi, near Tupelo, and Poppaw Thompson lived in Jackson, a miserable four-hour drive at best. Most of it, though, had to do with my with just the Thompson knack for emotional distance. We're private people who manage to wear our hearts on our sleeves. When we move, we move on. We don't dwell.

Poppaw Thompson was pretty much the same way. Shortly after my paternal grandmother died - six weeks before I was born - he married an old flame and helped raise her youngest daughter. That was that. One would think that caused a rift between him and the old man, except there were issues between my father and his mother. I don't know what they were or why they happened. He doesn't want to talk about it, I never knew her, and the most I can get from my relatives is she was a "pretty, unpredictable woman who smoke and drank constantly". No one wants to talk about it, so I let it go.

My mother tried to bridge the gap. She comes from a tight-knit hillbilly family, most of who still life within a square mile of the hill where they were all born. She's all about roots and old pictures and family heirlooms that are financially negligible but rich in memory. After my brother and I left home for college and Momma retired from teaching (my dad's been disabled and unable to work since 1977, on top of being injured and exposed to Agent Orange in 'Nam), my folks made regular trips down to Jackson to visit, but it never changed. It just wasn't the same as being immersed in my mother's family.

It was just different, and my mother still doesn't understand that. She tries but I don't think she ever will. It's part of what makes Momma what she is, just like her big, ready-for-hugs greeting to every child she meets and her habit of telling complete strangers stories they won't get because they haven't know her or me or some distance, yet fondly remember relative for the past 30 years. My mother's family are loud and squabbling and thin-skinned and big-hearted and completely mad and lost in time. My father's people, well, if one day follows another, things are okay for them. My brother and I are a conflicted combination.

My brother and I left Athens early and drove to Jackson to be with my family and my father's people, many of whom I hadn't seen in almost 20 years. Some I'd never met before. Some I didn't know existed. It's odd. My father rarely talked about his father's people, apart from one favorite aunt that, apparently, more or less raised him. However, as much as he apparently had issues with his mother, he loved her people. Of all my father's family, I know them the best and I still have fond memories of my Uncle John and my Uncle Sam and my Uncle Dallas, a whole wad of characters and all gone, too.

My grandfather's people were like him, and many of them commented that they never got together except for funerals. Things were said about a family reunion, but I doubt it'll come across. That's just how they are. It's how I am. It's why I haven't spoken to most of the folks I knew in Gainesville since I left or why I haven't talked to most of the people I went to school with. It isn't a lack of love that causes the distance, it's just that peculiar family trait. It's not like Momma's people, and even though I am my father's son in that respect, I don't understand it. I can't. It just is.

During the funeral, the preacher - a second cousin of mine who previously did not number in my recollections, which is a helluva note - said he remembered my grandfather as a kind, gentle man who always took the time to listen. That's how I always knew him, as well, as that warm, gravelly voice on the other end of the phone who was just pleased to hear from me. Most of my life, I've felt my family and friends expected far too much from me, more than I could ever hope to deliver, but Poppaw Thompson just listened.

I understand Poppaw's decision to do what he did, why he made it. He told my step-grandmother he was tired of living the way he was, and before she could reach a phone to call 911, she heard the shot. I understand, though I'm angry with him for not giving us the chance to say goodbye, especially that aforementioned step-daughter's daughter, who worshiped the ground he walked on. He was in pain, the medication dulled his senses, he just wanted peace, he wanted to call his time. I understand. I wish he hadn't have done it, but I understand.

Momma was five minutes from calling them when my step-grandmother told him the news. Momma and Daddy were going to make a quick visit before my brother and I came home for the holidays. I'd planned a trip to New Orleans and was looking forward to telling Poppaw T. that I'd come for a visit sometime in March. Both of us can't help but wonder, if we had just said something sooner. If maybe I'd been a better grandson, if I'd tried harder to ignore the lean towards my father's emotional distance for my mother's wide-open heart. If. If. If.

I worry about my father. He's been disabled for almost 30 years, but the past few have seen a marked downturn in his health. Momma can't help but cry when she tells me how listless he is these days, how he doesn't hunt or fish anymore, how all he does is stare at the TV. She doesn't know what to do and I don't know what to tell her. He doesn't want to talk about it. All I can offer is professional therapy but I'm not holding my breath on whether or not it ever happens.

A very wise friend of mine once told me, "Life is people you love hurting you and never even knowing what they'd done or even that they'd done it." It's a dark outlook, but there's truth to it. The best we can hope for, the best we can do, is love each other as much as possible despite what we do to each other. We must live with our regrets, but we also get to live with the better memories. I'll always cherish the memories of my grandfather's voice and I'll always regret I didn't hear more of it. That's life.

Here's to you, Prof. Here's to your dad and my poppaw. Here's to all y'all.

Has Science Gone Too Far Or Not Far Enough?

2006-02-06T02:54:00.000-06:00

I love science. I'm fascinated with string theory and cosmology. Various aspects of evolutionary theory provide for endless hours of amusement. The depth and scope of time involved in various geological studies is, quite simply, awe-inspiring. I just wish I understood all even half of it, but that just means there‘s always something new to learn. There's always something new to learn. I'm also quite concerned about the continued dumbing down of our culture. The idea that learning something for any reason other than profit is a waste of time bothers me to no end, and it seriously bothers me to see people wallow in ignorance over the simplest topics just because looking it up and maybe learning something would take time out of their busy schedules. The amount of faith, trust and, above all, money some people put into complete horse hockey like psychics, astrology and other forms of psuedo-scientific quackery worries me something fierce.

You may've heard about this. Way it goes, some kid named George Deutsch has got a bunch of scientists all riled up over some iffy statements he made to a subordinate in his position as public affairs officer for NASA. Here's the money quote:

In October 2005, Mr. Deutsch sent an e-mail message to Flint Wild, a NASA contractor working on a set of Web presentations about Einstein for middle-school students. The message said the word "theory" needed to be added after every mention of the Big Bang.

The Big Bang is "not proven fact; it is opinion," Mr. Deutsch wrote, adding, "It is not NASA's place, nor should it be to make a declaration such as this about the existence of the universe that discounts intelligent design by a creator."

It continued: "This is more than a science issue, it is a religious issue. And I would hate to think that young people would only be getting one-half of this debate from NASA. That would mean we had failed to properly educate the very people who rely on us for factual information the most."

Like I said, lots of folks are bent way out of shape over this, as well as Mr. Deutsch's qualifications for the job he has. In short, he has none. The boy's a recent journalism graduate from Texas A&M and apparently his only qualifications for the gig is that he served as an intern for the "war room" on Bush's 2004 re-election campaign. He's also a bit of a lulu, apparently.

Let's review. An unqualified political appointee issues a vaguely threatening missive to an actual scientist, warning said scientist not to get to fancy with his science talk and reminding him that, yes, religion must be respected. In the process, he gets it all wrong. Not only that, he's definitely a hard-core Bush partisan. The excellent Pharyngula has more on this story, as does Phil Plait's killer Bad Astronomer site and the excellent physics blog Cosmic Variance.

Okay, a couple things. Yes, the Big Bang is "just a theory", but that isn't the same thing as an "opinion". In the scientific world, a theory is derived from evidence and observation. It's testable. It's falsifiable. It's not some wild conjecture. Theories are challenged and tested against. Some fall by the wayside; some stick around despite some folks' best attempts to foil 'em. So, in other words, scientists aren't just making shit up when it comes to wacky stuff like string theory or expansion theory. They spend a lot of time on it because believe you me, there’s little more your average scientists likes better than to prove some other scientists wrong.

Number two, some serious bells of warning should go off when this kid tries to shove in the much discredited theory of "intelligent design by a creator". No, it isn't NASA's job to say there wasn't a creator, but it's also not NASA's job to give credence to unsubstantiated, unscientific political hoo-hah. Science, despite what Mr. Deutsch may think, isn't a religious issue. It has nothing to do with religion. End of story.

Personally, I've got no use for religion whatsoever. I'm interested in the history of various religions and their respective places in culture, and of course given today's political climate, it does one good to keep up with the various goings on in the churches and other houses of worship. Otherwise, it's complete rubbish to me, and personally I see no need to "respect" an ideology that thinks that not only am I doomed to ever-lasting torment because I don't follow its particular fairy tale, I deserve such damnation. That being said, hey, if faith gets you through the hard nights, that's jake with me. It just doesn't belong in science. Science isn't trying to replace religion. They're two different things and are in no way incongruous with each other. I don't know of any way to make that any simpler.

And for what it's worth, this isn't just a "knee-jerk, anti-Bush" reaction. After the disaster that is Michael Browne and the recent revelations of the Bush administration leaning on dissenting voices when it comes to little things like global warming, I personally think it's quite logical to be a bit perturbed by the news of one lone Aggie making a fool out of himself and the Bush administration. This isn’t serving the public. It’s pushing an agenda that the antithesis of NASA’s purpose - informing the public on scientific matters - and dangerous not only to the intelligence of the body public, but possibly our physical well being to boot. Furthermore, it’s another example of how shoddily the U.S. government is run, how little thought the Bush administration puts into political appointees (paging John Bolton), and how little the powers that be are really interested in anything but political maneuverings. But after five years, is anyone really surprised?

The Man's Singing My Song, Son...

2006-01-26T17:08:00.000-06:00

Check out Joe Bageant's "Revenge Of The Mud People". It's often a wonder to me that nearly ever facet of American progressives, from mainstream Democrats to your harder core leftists, have pretty much given up hope on white rural working-class poor, especially considering the success of past progressive policies. Sure, poor crackers ain't the most oppressed segment of society, but it's a life definitely full of more bleak prospects than makes one is comfortable. And I will freely admit it's a group that seems to give easily to those who thunder hatred and loathing of some "Other" as the Orwellian source of all their problems rather than, you know, the guys who are actually running things.

Still. I have to think that if you don't give people hope, they'll turn to fear and loathing much easier. There's at least some power in it.

I Don't Have Much Evidence Of Anything, Actually

2006-01-26T17:05:00.000-06:00

Blame it on Amanda at Pandagon. Then read the blog, it's pretty damn good. Anyhow, Ten Views I Hold Without Evidence:

10. Somewhere, if I just look hard enough, I'll find a message board/chatroom/comments section/whatever where politics and current events can be discussed and political ideologies can clash in a respectful yet passionate manner without either side ever bringing up something that happened 30 years that makes the other side look bad even though it has no connection whatsoever to anything at all going on today.

9. Eventually, a stable, active and, above all, influential political party will arise from the great unwashed that will focus solely on what affects the people rather than big corporations. It will remain untainted of "Big Money" politics and useless, empty "family values" hoo-hah. It will represent the interest of all Americans' basic human rights as put forth in the Constitution. And it will nominate candidates who don't come off as chat-room loons to the vast majority of the population.

8. A new network or national publication will sweep the nation with pure, uncut journalism. Reporters will stick to the facts rather than just swapping gossip, and pundits will explain but not opine. Stands, however, will be taken. This network/publication will recognize its role as watchdog of the public trust, and will not kowtow to the interests of advertisers or the well connected.

7. The broad scope of religious belief in this country will no longer be tied to the voices of hate and separation. Religions of all faiths will reject the idea of "us versus them", and will show the true power of their faith through their deeds and actions. No longer will "I'm a deity-fearing individual" give a person moral carte blanche.

6. Atheists, agnostics and other non-believers will no longer be seen as "lost" or "confused" or "angry". Like believers, they'll be judged on how they act on their philosophy instead of getting pity for not "know the Lord/Allah/Buddha/Bob/The Goddess".

5. Education and critical thinking will make a comeback. Teachers, researchers, theorists and other assorted persons will have to fight off promises of wild monkey sex from legions of admirers, and Sylvia Browne will have to get a job at a gas station. Anyone who ever says anything along the lines of "Well, the consortium of Science Industry CommieNazi Power Elite are just trying to suppress information on the wondrous gifts laundry balls can bring humanity" will be slapped good and hard.

4. One fine day, people will no longer worry about anybody's sex life but their own. All women aren't crazy, and all men don't think with just their respective tallywhackers. This new-found freedom from worrying about who is potentially boning who (and how) will eek out into the rest of the cultural sphere, bringing a new-found awareness of people as simply people, rather than "men versus women" or "straight versus not-straight", and people will cut that shit out.

3. Swamp Dogg is America's greatest living pop musician. Willie Nelson is probably a holy man and if not worshipped, he should at least be given all the free pot he can smoke.

2. Elvis is still the best there ever was. He rules, even in spirit, mightily atop an iron throne looking down from the jagged peaks of Mount Awesome, and one day, all will recognize.

1. This is the best shape humanity’s ever been in, but it ain’t the best of all possible worlds. Not by a long shot. That’s still to come.

But I have been wrong before.

The Earth Rolls On...

2006-01-19T17:41:00.000-06:00

I'm sure he enjoyed the ride. If you dig on Southern Soul music - and who has any use for someone who doesn't - check out D.A. Pennebaker and company's Only The Strong Survive. Pickett's in it, still raunchy, and it's a good time all 'round.

Keeping America Safe From Table Daintzers

2006-01-04T07:39:00.000-06:00

Nice to know the CIA is keeping busy. Apparently, a stripper at Atlanta's famous Clermont Lounge was questioned at some length by agents of the CIA. No, seriously.

Officials from one of the world's most powerful and prominent intelligence-gathering agencies, a group that not only fought America's Enemies during the Cold War but also almost single-handedly shaped the directions of countries in Latin America and throughout Asia, apparently have the time to irritate go-go girls. Now, in that august agency’s defense, there were some questions. Tabby Chase did also work as a dominatrix and held political beliefs that ran counter to Red State America. Can't have that, of course. She was also known as someone who didn't just love the president to pieces, and probably worst of all, was trying to hook up with a group that brought a circus to kids in war-torn Iraq. That, of course, is just flat-out unAmerican.

Now. Keep all that in mind the next time you hear someone say the only people who have to worry about the government investigating their lives are people who are breaking the law.

Year Of The Cock, Indeed...

2006-01-01T15:47:00.000-06:00

Ya know, I've been vacillating of whether or not 2005 was a good year or a bad year. But, some thoughts...

POLITICS

Still as ugly and nasty from all sides as it's been since 2000, the world of dirty deeds done expensive as hell in Washington is taking a much weirder turn of late. The wire-tapping fandango has got me all confused. The White House has been for the past couple of years by-passing the laws of the land to tap the phone of people living in the country - and here's the bad part - without warrants, even though a 1978 law allows warrants for wiretapping a phone for national security reasons allows to be granted for up to 72 hours after the tap draws blood. This is illegal. The New York Times apparently found out about this sometime last year disturbingly close to the November Presidential election, yet sat on the info at the request of the administration.

I'm still unaware of just how this hit the public consciousness, beyond rather suddenly, just before Christmas, but it's out and being talked about. The President has basically told his critics to jump on if they're feeling froggy. Why? Because it's all in the name of Fighting Terror!, and that means maybe spilling a little Constitutional milk to save the American pie, and anyway he's the President so there. And, no, they aren't gonna be forced by the mean ol' liberals to actually back any of this up. We just have to take the president's word. I'm serious.

The vast majority of people paying attention are at different levels of concerned, if my judgment's anything to consider, and both sides of the ideological spectrum do recognize that desperate times do occasionally call for desperate measures, but aren't sure if that particular axiom qualifies in this situation. Should the president have this much power, even in wartime? And does the War On Terror - a tactic, not a state or nation or even an agreed-upon group or ideology - even qualify? If we're fighting terror, when does it end? When all the soldiers are out of Iraq? How long is long enough? And if the president can disobey a law if he feels it's necessary - which is about the only justification Bush is giving - where do we draw the line? Why should we trust the president, any president, just on his or her word, especially given the government's rather unpleasant past concerning secrecy, lies and spying on its own people? And more specifically, I’m supposed to trust this guy? Come on.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that the very first person who has no choice but to follow the letter of the law is the person charged with enforcing it. No excuses and no exceptions. There is, of course, a very vocal minority of folks who are totally in favor of domestic spying sans warrants, and indeed, are convinced the president has the moral purity and clarity - indeed, he's the only man since Jesus to posses such - to undertake such a firm stand against civil liberties, and the fact that a similar move by a Democratic president would have them howling for blood is just something an anti-American terrorist lover would say. But I try to avoid those people these days, just for peace of mind. These people aren't well and they frankly do not have our best interests at heart.

Anyhow, weird year politically. I have no idea where it's going, if the fear and loathing will get worse, or if the public is had about enough of the horseshit. I've no idea if the Democrats will even be worthy of loathing or if the Republicans will regain their sanity and collective moral compass. I've no idea if the Libertarians or Greens will be worthy of taking seriously, or if Roy Moore will lead off the real loons and leave the rest of us in peace. Personally, I'm just ready for everyone, everyone to cut the shit.

POP CULTURE

I have no idea. Seriously, I haven't been paying attention. The only current events I keep up with that aren't pure politics are religion, and that's just politics in fancy dress. A new pope, Intelligent Design and a war on Christmas. Sure. I do know the White Sox won the World Series for the first time since the Big Bang, and apparently nobody gave a damn, poor bastards. I also know about Tom Cruise making an ass of himself on "The Today Show", but that's just because Scientology is fucking hilarious. I know the economy is if not exactly shaky, per se, it still isn't quite stable, but I don't know enough theory to really say nor do I have enough cash to really be able to worry too much about it.

The new "Dcotor Who" was okay, and the only movie I saw that came out this year - theatre or home release both, if I recall correctly - was The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, which was likewise okay. The Terry Schiavo boondoggle was an embarrassment to the species and prime example of why human beings maybe shouldn't be allowed to handle sharp things. Hunter Thompson did what he apparently felt he had to do. Lots of famous folks died, but so did a lot of non-celebrity-type folks, and the Earth continues to roll on. Astronomers found two great big rocks out past Pluto, and some physicist somewhere, if memory serves, has managed to stop, more or less, a beam of light. That's neat. I haven't read any books published this year, haven't played any video games, and, apparently, I look like that Bo guy from "American Idol".

To the best of my recollection, the only new music - as in, not a compilation or re-release - I bought this year came from The Chasers, Donnie Chambers, and The Dictatortots, all locals. I have absolutely no idea what's "hot" in mainstream music, apart from brief snatches of country radio, and I'm equally clueless when it comes to "non-mainstream" stuff, whatever the hell that is. Nor, frankly, do I care. It's not some sort of statement on the quality of modern music that all I've been listening to this year is country music from my childhood and earlier, soul music predominately of the Southern variety, and rock & roll and rhythm & blues from before The Beatles. It's not a conscious statement, anyway; I have no control over my subconscious.

ESCHATOLOGICALLY

Nature, in her infinite wisdom, took this year to remind us just why she's often referred to as a "mother". The year started on the bad foot with the tsunami that swamped Southeast Asia just before Christmas 2004, and things basically went downhill from there. Of course, we saw the longest hurricane season on record, with 26 named storms. Katrina. A horrible natural disaster exuberated by bureaucratic incompetence mendacity, partisan mendacity, and cultural shit-assery. It was not our finest moment, and we really don't seem to be even trying to make ourselves look better. An earthquake in Central America followed one in Pakistan that I've heard to as "wiping out a generation". Hyperbole, perhaps, but it was ugly. Uncontrollable fires in the Western United States and killer tornadoes in the East. And according to this month's National Geographic, amphibians all over the world are in danger of extinction and it's not (totally) our fault.

But, remember: there's nothing to global warming, and you're a class-warfare-waging, anti-capitalist enviro-whacko tree-hugger if you even suggest otherwise.

PERSONAL

Hell, I don't know. I really haven't found anything better to do than what I'm doing, but it's no big deal. I'm enjoying myself, at any rate, and I admit I probably don't look as hard as I should, but that's how it goes. My thirtieth year on this planet came and went, but I was busy reading about zero-point energy. I quit drinking for no real good reason other than it'd gotten boring. I don't know for sure, but I really don't see myself starting again. I'm a little bit better on bass and guitar than I was last year, but I really don't have much inclination to do either. Nor, despite this rather lengthy missive, do I have any real desire to go back to writing for a living or any other attempts at publication. Still single and still couldn't be bothered to do otherwise.

My folks are still making me laugh, and apart from a bad turn for both health-wise, they're still watching baseball. My brother is still doing his thing in his own peculiar way, which is the only way to accurately describe the experience. My maternal grandmother's still watching the world go by, and my paternal grandfather is hanging in as best he can. My uncles and aunts are all alright, probably the best shape they've ever been in, group-wise. My cousin Lacey, the baby of my bunch of cousins, got married this summer. Lots of folks I know had babies. My cousin Jamie is working on his second. People I haven't talked to since high school are still experiencing life. My friends are still my friends despite me not really making it easy for them to maintain the position, which probably says something pretty good about humanity somehow or another.

Good year or bad, I can't say. However, if this is any indication, I personally have good vibes for the Year of the Dog.

Music For The Masses, Naturally

2006-01-01T15:29:00.000-06:00

I'm not real sure if it should be held against them, as it might be the wishes of their label, but if this is for real, Coldplay is even wankier than I thought. Long story short, the band's new CD has been manufactured in such a way that it can't be burned or copied - though I'm told there's easy ways around that, generally involving a magic marker - and a DRM certificate included that sets some more restrictions.

Among other gems, the DRM - which is only visible after the CD jewel case is opened - notes "(t)his CD can't be burnt onto a CD or hard disc, nor can it be converted to an MP3". Also, because of the anti-piracy measure, the CD "may not play in DVD players, car stereos, portable players, game players, all PCs and Macintosh PCs." Why all the hubbub? Quality, of course. It‘s just to ensure the glassy-eyed drama queens that make up the vast majority of Coldplay's fan base get the purest whine possible. Sure.

Now. I'm not a fan of Coldplay by any stretch of the imagination, nor do I really have any venom for them. Call it a case of them just not being interesting enough to me to warrant a reaction. Still, if it's their doing, it's some serious Rockstar Bullshit, as bad as Garth Brooks' nonsenseconcerning used CD's back in '93. I won't defend illegally sharing files, but trying to tell a listener what he or she can and can't do after it's been purchased is the height of out-of-touch greedy jackassery. If it's the doing of Virgin Records, well, I wouldn't be surprised.
Thanks to Atrios

Just Three More Days...

2005-12-23T13:13:00.000-06:00

As little use as I have for Christoper Hitchens in general - he's always come off as a pompous twit more in love with his own ability to turn a phrase than anything else - I gotta admit this gave me a chuckle. Ah, me...one day I'll understand how a majority can claim to be the by fiat rulers of a country while at the same time claim to be oppressed.

Next stop, Peaceful Valley, Mississippi. Y'all all have a good weekend. Tell everyone you love that you love 'em, and that's good enough for me.

I've Been Waiting On Something Like This For A While, Actually...

2005-12-15T15:22:00.000-06:00

If anyone asks, I hope Santa brings me this for Christmas. Just like Monty Python's responsible for my love of philosophy, a childhood love of comic books and Doctor Who is why I'm fascinated with physics. I don't understand most of it - most of the philosophy I read, neither, to be quite frank - but I do enjoy it. Apparently, a "Science of Doctor Who" book is coming out this coming April, right in time for my birthday. Imagine that.

Tell Him I Said Suck MY...

2005-12-11T14:55:00.000-06:00

The always insightful Digby of Hullabaloo has an excellent post up on the death of Richard Pryor. He says better than I ever could why Pryor was so relevent, not to mention howlingly funny, to a dumbass country boy growing up in the rural Deep South in the '80s. Pryor's been sick for a long, long time, of course, so I imagine for many of his friends and family this is as much a relief as a tragedy. Still, like with Bill and Hunter, there's a little bit of pain seeing one less philosopher who actually gave a damn in the world.

The world rolls on...

Now, That's Just Rude...

2005-12-02T23:02:00.000-06:00

Ever get caught having sex? By which I mean, have you (and hopefully whoever was with you) got caught by someone who you didn't expect on being there whilst en flagrant nookie? Embarrassing as hell, isn't it, though for the life of me I can't understand why. I mean, as Clarence Carter taught us, almost everything that has life in it has sex, and the vast majority of us humans can think of little else than that next piece of tail. You'd think we'd just grin a bit and say "Give us a few minutes and we'll be out of your hair."

Elvis knows I've been walked in on a couple of times, by roommates, neighbors and one really frightening time by the girl's boyfriend (whose existence I was till then unaware of). Never by a family member, though a friend of mine was making the sign of the triple-finned catfish with his girl in his girl's parents' bed when the girl's mom walked in, and that's just tacky as hell. Apparently, though, the only thing Mom said was thank God Dad wasn't the one that caught them.

However, some folks are just plain rude. Long story short, professor walks in on an unknown couple having sex in his office. Instead of quickly dressing, mumbling an embarrassed apology and making a swift, unobtrusive exit, the male copulee proceeds to bless out the professor. Hope this doesn't get around to Tom Wolfe, he might just soil his nice white suit.

As Always, It's A Big Ol' Goofy World

2005-12-01T03:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, so y'all know about Jack Abramoff, the high mucky-muck lobbyist cat who's currently in serious deep pudding over some shady shenanigans concerning some sticky money going to legislators on both sides of the aisle, right? This whole affair is a big deal for a couple reasons. For one, it looks like a whole lot of folks in Congress have got a pocketful of Abramoff's funny money and a whole lot of 'em could be looking at some serious heat if Abramoff - currently catching much of the same hell Smilin' Tom DeLay is - goes down. Frankly, I'm prone to agree with the idea that, if nothing else, the recent spate of governmental malfeasance means it's high time to do some serious house cleaning.

But here's what's funny to me. After leaving those wild-eyed funsters the College Republicans and just before joining up with Ollie North's Citizens For America - the dopes that raised money to fund the Contras in Nicaragua (which he eventually was booted from for "carelessly" spending it's money, and that just gives me all kinds of willies), Abramoff spent some time in Hollywood. His magnum opus? Dolph Lundgren's masterpiece of political intrigue and tight plotting Red Scorpion.

Yeah, I know. Ain't that a helluva note? Next time some dingbat with too much time on his hands whines about "liberal Hollywood", remind them that this is what happens when hardcore conservative stormtroopers take their hand at the big screen.

Nice To Know Alabama Doesn't Have A Lock On Politicians Being Goofy

2005-11-29T17:06:00.000-06:00

My brother told me about this. Seems Paul Hellyer, Canada's Defence Minister from 1963-67, gave a speech this past September where he claimed that UFO's - meaning alien spaceships - were as "real as the airplanes that fly over your head". He also said that not only do the world's governments know about aliens among us, but the U.S. in particular has been gearing up for a potential conflict. Mr. Hellyer said he was moved to speak on the subject at a recent speech given at the University of Toronto because "so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war".
Like we don't have enough problems to worry about these days. Personally, I agree with Bill Waterson, and the most compelling proof of intelligent life out there in the cosmos is that they've avoided us like Tom DeLay avoids an ethics probe.

I Don't Get It...

2005-11-19T21:36:00.000-06:00

Okay, so like I do every Saturday night, I've been listening to Country Gold Saturday Night on Eagle 106.7 out of Atlanta. Every hour on the hour, they do one of those brief, 90-second news bit, and each time they've talked about Bush's visit to China. Specifically, they talk about him going to church with some folks Sunday morning. Okay, whatever. Fluff piece, means nothing, but yeah, whatever. Odd thing is, they also mention how bitchy China is about religion, including noting that publication of any religious material is cracked down on in a note about Bush getting a Bible.

So, what I'm thinking is... is all this getting someone in trouble over there? Now, I don't put much stock in any religion, but I do think it's a huge dollop of jackassery to not let folks worshipper whatever fairy tale they so choose. I hope not, and I do hope the Bush people have taken measures to make sure the Chinese government doesn't give those poor bastards anymore hassle than they already have to deal with. No fan of Bush I, of course, and I'm not suggesting they don't... but I gotta admit, I wouldn't be surprised.

I also wonder what the Chinese government thinks about it. Again, no fan of Bush or religion - and the two mixed are plumb discombobulating- but I say fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Cool. They're playing Mel Tillis' "I Got The Hoss (She Got The Saddle)", and it's exactly what you think it's about.

Yeah, Pretty Much...

2005-11-10T20:32:00.000-06:00

First off, I've been told some folks have inquired as to my well-being and whereabouts. As to the latter, I'm still here. As to the former, for what it's worth, the current state of national politics has gotten me plumb worn down, wherein I just can't find the energy nor will power to indulge in the whole "rooting for my team" aspect of things. I'm cool and I'm paying attention, so there's no worry, but thanks for asking, y'all.

Now. I figure some folks will enjoy this. It's childish and simplistic, sure, but damn is it on the spot. The song's from a band called Jim's Big Ego, and it in of itself is pretty damn sweet. As juvenile as the humor is, it's a damn fine example of why my own interest in debating politics with supporters of the Bush MalAdministration (as opposed to regular ol' conservatives and even members of the Church Of Libertarianism): to support that bunch, man...you gotta have a high tolerance for assholes.

The Best News I've Heard In I Don't Know How Long...

2005-10-18T15:57:00.000-05:00

I smoke a lot of pot. I wouldn't call myself a "constant burner", but I do manage to catch something of a buzz on days that end in "Y". I like pot. It loosens me up and helps me concentrate (though, admittedly, I don't get to pick just what I'm concentrating on). It enhances the experience of watching a movie (theatre or at home) or listening to music (live or recorded) because I hear and/or see little subtleties that I'd missed previously. I love listening to audio plays when I'm stoned, and probably my favorite way to kill an afternoon is to read a little theoretical physics or cosmology, smoke a bowl, and then lay down to think me some tremulous thoughts. And then there's this, which I have, admittedly, stared at for more than an hour.

It's also helped me center myself emotionally. I may've lost some of my "edge" over the last couple years, but I've also jettisoned a whole lot of the anger and rage that had driven me previously. I won't say that's all because of generous toking, but there's no doubt in my mind the sweet leaf helped out a bit. Though I don't know how much of Terrence McKenna's theories I believe, I seriously believe this world would be a much better place if all the seriously pissed-off people stomping around the terra - which seems to be most of them, these days - would fire one up from time to time, turn on a little Roger Miller and, basically, realize that it's not really that big a deal.

It also kicks the shit out of booze. I quit drinking about eight months ago, and decided to make a conscious decision to quit about a month and a half ago. After ten years of drinking to various levels, I don't miss it at all. The only thing I "miss" about booze is that I don't quite enjoy being around large groups of drunken yay-hoos quite as much as I used to, and upon further reflection, I don't miss that much a' tall. I’ve never taken my clothes off in public, got into a fight or damaged property out of anger when stoned. I’ve done all and more drunk on a number of occasions.

Sidenote: if you're reading this and you're someone who I've offended or wronged in the past when I was shit-hammered, I humbly apologize. Drunk people are extremely annoying when you're sober.

On the downside, I freely admit I'm nowhere near as "ambitious" as I once was and I sometimes wonder if I'm not burning away parts of my brain with the noble weed (I can't make cookie dough at work worth a damn to save my life anymore). Like all-day drunks, if I get a chance to do nothing but smoke grass all day, nothing else will get accomplished. It screws up my timing for bass playing (unless I get so stoned I stop thinking about what I'm doing, which I should be doing in the first place). If enough grass is around, I'm bad to get so stoned I can't do anything but grin a rather disturbing looking grin (I'm told).

And, frankly, a solid headfull of THC removes all the blocks I put on just what comes out of my mouth. This may amaze some folks, but there's a whole lot that goes on in my head that I fully recognize most people simply do not want to hear (at least from me, anyway). I've cornered I don't know how many poor bastards at parties while high and spent hours blabbering on about the Cathars or synchronicity or quantum tunneling or the neat shit scientists are finding out in space. God help anyone who gets around me when I’m on mushrooms and wants to maintain the illusion that I’m anything close to sane. Probably the worst thing pot does to me is increase my already strong yen for solitude. In other words, I get stoned and realize that, basically, nothing anyone can say to me is near as interesting as what's going on in my head.

Now there's this. Apparently, some researchers at the University of Saskatchewan are saying research shows that some of the ingredients in marijuana can actually stimulate brain cell growth in lab rats. Furthermore, the findings suggest the growth goes on in the hippocampus area of the brain - which is connected to not only learning and memory, but also anxiety and depression - and controlled doses might help those suffering from anxiety and depression disorders. That's as maybe, but all I'll say is when it comes to my own history of clinical depression, a bagful of good Georgia Polio Weed ran rings around Depakote and...hell, I can't remember the other one I took.

There is, of course, much more study and testing to be done, and it should be noted that the stuff the docs were squirting into the rats was much more potent and pure than what one would find on the streets. And, of course, there are plenty of side effects to regular intake that might negate the benefits. Still, that is some good news to hear and worth of a little celebration, if you'll indulge me.

As If The World Wasn't Stupid Enough...

2005-09-27T11:20:00.000-05:00

Dig this. Apparently, 36 dolphins that had been owned and trained by the U.S. Navy may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Even better, these particular dolphins might be carrying "toxic dart" guns, say experts who've studied the navy's dolphin training exercise. Apparently, these particular members of the Order Cetacea have been trained to shoot terrorists and pinpoint underwater spies, and experts are concerned they might attack surfers or divers by mistake. I'm not making this up.

And it isn't even the dumbest thing I've read in the past hour.

Apparently, after director Susan Wood of the FDA's Office Of Women's Health resigned last month in protest of the agency's fence-straddling on whether to make emergency contraception more easily available, the FDA had a stroke of genius. They announced that 20-year FDA vet Theresa Toigo would be acting director. Now, they did this three days after announcing that a dude named Norris Anderson would be the acting director, even though he spent most of his career working in animal husbandry. This, of course, hacked some folks off and the FDA is apparently pretending it never happened.

Hell, I think I'm going back to bed.

Apparently They've Got That Kind Of Time...

2005-09-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

Fair warning: some of the following links aren't safe for work, depending on your job.

Okay, so here's the deal. Thanks to a director from U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and FBI Director Robert Mueller, the country's top law-enforcement agency is gearing up a special task force to go after (wait for it) porn. Not child porn, mind, but regular ol' porn that involves consenting adults (sometimes three or four of 'em at a time). Seriously. The top law dogs of the United States, the people responsible for keeping us safe from terrorists, foreign espionage, white collar crime, civil rights abuses and other various sundries, apparently has the free time to go after people who make movies of other people fuckin', which is then viewed by consenting adults of age in their own homes. It is, of course, to protect the children, because apparently the parents in this country can't do their damn jobs.

Now.

This sort of foolishness isn't a new thing, of course, and not everyone involved with the Bureau and AG's office is exactly thrilled that resources and manpower is being relocated to keep folks from strokin' without governmental approval. And, let's be honest, porn has gotten a bit, well, "in-your-face" over the past decade, what with the rise in public acceptance, and a more than a few of the guys involved in the business are complete bastards. And it goes without saying that any pornography that involves children, animals or non-consensual acts should have the hammer brought down upon it with all speed. That being said, neither descriptions - either visual or text - of warped sexual practices nor scum bags making money off said products are exactly new. The gang bang isn't a new concept, despite it's rather disturbing popularity among viewers.

Personally, thanks to being on the Internet for over a decade now, I find just about forms of porn gotten pretty goddamn boring these days. In a nutshell, nine times out of ten, I have no desire to watch folks make the sign of the three-finned catfish - if you know what I'm talking about and I think you do - unless I'm somehow involved in the proceedings. Yeah, hot nekkid chicks and all that, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I got things to do, okay? That tenth time, of course... well, let's just say there are times when the sap has risen and matters must be addressed, and leave it at that.

Still, I can't help but think there's better ways of using the time, money and men and women of the FBI and the AG's office - not to mention the taxpayer's money - than going after one group of people because another group of people can't get their shit together enough to deal with their responsibilities. You have kids and you don't want 'em watching porn, keep an eye on the little rascals. They'll still figure out a way around you, though. Always have, always will. I would say that any parent who objects to their child viewing adult pornography should maybe take the time to explain just they have objections, but that's probably asking way too much.

Of course, some folks are just tickled Gonzales is going after the scourge of stroke flicks. Keep in mind, though, it's the same people who object to vaccinating teenagers from STD's because it might encourage sexual permissiveness. I'm not kidding. Oh well, maybe the AG and FBI will get off the assess of pot smokers and hookers now that they got something really important to worry about.

Do What?

2005-09-08T14:24:00.000-05:00

Don't know what to think about this. It’s a list of which Louisiana parishes were included in Bush’s Aug. 26th declaration of emergency. Here's the full and specific list of parishes and services received covered by the declaration on Aug. 29th, after the storm hit. Compare and contrast. Personally, it don't look quite right to me.

The always rockin' Bob Harris has more.

No, We're Not...

2005-09-07T19:47:00.000-05:00

Once again, John Sugg has the sweet stuff. The senior editor of Atlanta's Creative Loafing media branch and CL editor Ken Edelstein offer this well-put together piece for truthout.org on just how badly prepared the Southeastern United States is for events like Katrina. In particular, it notes how bad off fair Georgia would be if a serious hurricane hit. Apparently, the shallow coastal region and massive amount of marshlands would result in both one hellaciously nasty landfall and all kinds of flooding.

Once again: get shit fixed. Now. There is absolutely no reason why a country with as much money, manpower and technology at its disposal should leave its citizens in such a sorry state of affairs.

Couple of Neat Links...

2005-09-07T19:17:00.000-05:00

This is a pretty neat site. It's a fairly comprehensive timeline of the various events that lead up to the massive clusterfuck that was Hurricane Katrina. Interesting tidbit from 2003:

FEMA awards $89,471,651 million in PDM Pre-Disaster Mitigation? Grants; including $4,199,259.75 dollars to build Homeland Security Safe Rooms in nine Fort Smith, Arkansas public schools. Thirty-six states and nine Native American tribes benefited from the Presidential initiative mostly awarded for flood hazard mitigation or Homeland Security projects. Though Louisiana applied, they didn’t get a dime.

Something else to consider about 2003 is the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and the Louisiana Coastal Area developed a plan to revamp levees - which were mostly built before the current hurricane classification system came into being, if I recall correctly - and related flood prevention systems. However, even before the issue came up before Congress, the Bush malAdministration cut proposed funding for the project by 80%. How about that. It's also worth noting that 35% of Louisiana’s National Guard is in Iraq while New Orleans is full of regular army types. I think that's interesting.

This is another pretty interesting website. It's called "20 Amazing Facts About Voting In The USA". Lots of fascinating little revelations here, friends, including some very interesting tidbits concerning our friends at Diebold. Check it out.

Everyone Screwed Up...Again...

2005-09-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

First off, go here or here to donate some bread to relief efforts. There's places that'll hook up folks who have extra pad space with folks who's houses got blown slap away. If you can do that, do so, but at the very least, do what you can.

Now.

It’s bad enough there’s jackasses snickering about people who, after suffering a massive natural disaster and basically abandoned by the rest of society, don’t even come close to acting right (or that the media and them snickerers are maybe exaggerating just a bit). And it’s irritating that, true to form, the frothing nutball segment of Christianity has already trumpeted Katrina as judgment from GAWD or that the real dirtbags of the world are already seeing investment opportunities in destroyed towns and ruined lives.

And by the way, if you reading this are the type that thinks people who stayed in New Orleans during Katrina - most had either no way of getting out or no way to go, one way or another - or that they somehow deserve having their lives completely and totally wrecked because of their color, sexual orientation or political affiliation, I have one thing to say to you: you are not a nice person. If you're cool with that, fine; just don't ever any sort of moral superiority in my presence. I would say you deserve the most crotch-rottening venereal disease to infect your genital area causing a continuous stench that makes children cry and pain peel, but I've had my afternoon magic carpet ride so I do not wish to get all worked up. Still. Not nice, asshole.

For whatever it's worth, the whole Katrina thing has got me plumb worn out with everyone. I find it mind-boggling that with the complete devastation of not only New Orleans, but also large parts of Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi, the political cheerleaders are still trying to jockey for position. Somerby's right. The progressive left isn’t doing anyone a damn bit of good when they play as nasty and as fast and loose with the facts as the worst wingnut. This isn't just a little flooding and no power. Entire towns are destroyed. People aren't only homeless, they've got no damn place to go and nothing to go back to once the water goes down. The state, local and federal governments screwed the pooch on every level and, once again, the average person just trying to cut out a living gets the short end of the stick. Party affiliation don't matter; the government failed its citizens, end of story.

Josh Marshall's done some good work on keeping the threads straight. So have the folks at TPM Cafe. It seems most everyone else is drawing up to butt heads on whether or not this horror is "what finally brings Bush down" or if any and all criticism of the government's response is merely another example of "blind Bush hatred" making "liberals exploit a tragedy for political gain". Frankly, I think both sides can take a leap. The Democratic governor of Louisiana and Democratic mayor of New Orleans - who's become the darling boy of some of the left because he rightly cussed Bush (after donating a good hunk of change to Bush's 2000 campaign) - dropped the ball, no doubt about it, but the re-goddamn-diculous excuse for a response from FEMA and the Bush Administration means there's plenty of venom to go around.

They way I look at it, the federal government (and state and local, for that matter) has one job and one job only: make sure things run smoothly. When something tries to stir up the pot, be it a terrorist attack, turbulent economy or natural disaster, the whole reason we pay taxes is so that when something overwhelms us as individuals, we have a group to come in a straighten shit out. Katrina was definitely that; Blanco and Nagin (who didn't become a Democrat until he ran for mayor, mind) were in over their heads, and anyone with half a lick of sense knew that. Katrina wasn't a surprise, either generally (as in a big goddamn hurricane coming into wipe out the Big Easy) or specifically (the National Weather Service was about the only damn folks who had their shit together this whole time). There’s absolutely no reason - apart from incompetency and sheer apathy from the Powers That Be - that the complete clusterfuck we saw the past week should’ve happened. Common sense tells us that loss of life and destruction of property was unavoidable, but what we’ve seen is total bullshit in a country as prosperous and powerful as ours. I don't have to tell you stories, you've already heard 'em.

And this isn't the first time this has happened. Good grief. And these yay-hoos are supposed to be in charge? I'm supposed to count on them if shit turns ugly? For Pete's sake, the hurricane season ain't even close to being over. But, since the majority of folks who got smacked last week - black or white, poor is poor - don't have the pull that's necessary to get either party off its collective ass, not much will be done about it.

Anyhow. I said all that to say all this. I find this awful interesting. See, there's this company in Baton Rouge called Innovative Emergency Management, Inc. (IEM), and as the name implies, they're a private organization that deals with such crisis. Apparently, New Orleans' disaster management was supposed to be under the company's umbrella. More info here. Sorta makes one wonder if them that are bellyachin' about the "welfare state" causing the mess in New Orleans know exactly what they're talking about.

So, shut up and fix shit. Now. Don’t forget where things went wrong to get us where we are now - be nice if that happened just once, wouldn’t it - but we got people without homes, without jobs and without much hope to deal with now. Dammit.

Is This Really The Symbolism You Want Called To Mind

2005-08-04T15:54:00.000-05:00

Got this from my buddy rorschach over at No Capital. Apparently, the Little King was in Grapevine, Texas - home of the World's Greatest Texan That Doesn't Play Guitar And Isn't Molly Ivins - to receive something called The Thomas Jefferson Award from some group of rich white guys called the American Legislative Exchange Council. He gave a speech, and of course, it was a lot of empty words about how everything he does is wonderful and if you disagree you hate America, but I could've written that for him.

Now, the fact they're giving a guy like Bush an award named after a guy like Jefferson is a laugh and a half, of course, but the real funny bit is in the lede paragraph in The Daily Texan. Dig this:

Roads were shut down Wednesday and residents living in nearby apartments between Dooley and Ruth Wall Roads were warned not to look out of their windows Wednesday.

Got me? Residents were warned not to look out their windows as Bush's royal procession or whatever passed through. I'm not sure if this is standard procedure or what, but it does seem odd to me that people who pay their taxes can't sit in the comfort of their own kitchens and watch the damn president ride down the road.

I shudder to think what happened or what would've happened to folks who decided they could look out whatever damn window they please. Strange days indeed.

Something's Wrong Here...

2005-07-28T19:16:00.000-05:00

Apparently, Delta Airlines is dire financial straits. Not only are they probably gonna have to file for bankruptancy by the end of the year, but they're just barely squeaking out a decent pension for their employees (and that's being charitable). Since 2000, the airline has cut pilot pay, sunk 23,000 jobs and fumbled over 10 billion dollars. Chairman and CEO Gerald Grinstein is helping out, though, by drawing only a $250,000-a-year salary for driving a company into bankruptancy rather than $450,000. Guess he'll have to cut back on that extra cheese he's been getting with his Big Mac.

However, they've managed to keep this guy in decent shape. Not only did former chairman and chief executive Ronald Allen, forced out in 1997, snag a sweet severance deal that scored him a $765,000-a-year pension and a $4.5 million lump sum for basically wrecking the company, but he's been drawing $500,000 a year in consulting fees. The funny part is he really hasn't done a whole helluva lot of consulting. He did get a nifty office in beautiful Buckhead to not do it in, though.

Okay, so someone explain to me two things. One, explain to me why this is apparently legal and, two, why people have risen up as one and strung jackasses like this up by their toes yet. I must be missing something.

Is The Definition Of Life More Important Than Quality Of Life?

2005-07-01T01:52:00.000-05:00

There's a pretty nifty column over at the L.A. Weekly concerning the whole stem cell hoo-hah. On top of that, National Geographic did an excellent piece in this month's issue. Be sure to catch the online update, too. Both of which are well worth reading, though the Weekly piece does carry a decidedly pro-stem cell slant. Either way, check it out.

Not surprisingly, given my admittedly pro-science slant on most things, I lean towards encouraging and funding of stem cell research, though I do have some questions and concerns over the issue. I've also got a personal stake in this, as my father suffers from diabetes and my maternal grandfather had Alzheimer's disease. The rest of the world is slap leaving us behind, too. But, yeah... it's kind of creepy nevertheless and I've watched enough bad science fiction to know it could be fraught with all mannerisms of perils that mock nature. Maybe. Or maybe not. For as long as scientists have felt for the threads of reality just to give 'em a good, hard yank, some yay-hoo's been whining about how the whole world will end because of it. So far, though, so good... sorta. I honestly do think that given proper regulation and safeguards, stem cell research will end a whole lot of pain and misery for a whole lot of folks, and frankly, it’s worth it.

I sometimes wonder, though, that in our striving to improve the quality of life for all human beings, we might be going a bit too far sometime. I don't eat healthily, don't exercise, and I've pumped an ungodly number of poisons into my body over the past decade or so, and I'll still probably wind up living to 70 or so barring any unforeseen accidents. Just a few hundred years ago, a free-livin' cat like myself probably wouldn't see 45. Unlike most of Creation's critters, humankind is decidedly not in tune with its environment and hasn't been for quite a while. I'm not saying by any stretch of the imagination we should go back to hunter-gatherer tribal societies - I'd miss A/C for one thing and I ain't ashamed to admit it - but it is something to think about. All the time, we're learning more and more about aging, and I think it's interesting most of that knowledge is put to stem the ravages of time on our bodies.

That all being said, I really don't trust the current spate of opposition to stem cell research from some quarters. Like with the whole "pro-life" bull in the abortion debate, I sometimes think we're not really hearing what said opponents are really shooting for. Be honest, I don't think the opponents really care about stem cell one way or another; it's just another battle in the great abortion brouhaha. I honestly don't know what to think about people who rail about the unborn yet are able to ignore the massive amount of Americans who don't have access to quality health care or nutrition or jobs or advancement. Just how do we define "quality of life"? Is it - as they seemed to argue during the whole Terri Schiavo bread-and-circus embarrassment - just being alive good enough? Good enough for who? And who gives them the right to judge?

Either way. I really don't trust The Little King's ranting against stem cell. Like with the now-forgotten crusade against gay marriage, it's just political raw meat thrown to a very easily led crowd. Hell, his own party - on both the state and national level - is giving him the finger over the whole issue. Now isn't that interesting... and it's even more interesting that this inter-party squabbling is going more or less unreported by the mainstream media.

Like I said, interesting. So go do some readin’, it’s good for ya.

Okay, This Is Gettin' Stupid

2005-07-01T01:45:00.000-05:00

This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've read, at least since the spray-on mud thing. Seems this dingbat Congressmen from Virginia by the name of Tom Davis used some of his pull to keep wingnut booger man George Soros from purchasing the Washington Nationals. Why? Because, of course, liberals hate America and, therefore, the uberest of the liberals - apart from the all-powerful Clenis, natch - just wants to destroy baseball. Hole-ee shit.

It'd be almost funny if it weren't so disconcerting. Here we have a faithful follower of the party in power preventing an otherwise respected businessman from buying a sports franchise simply because the Honorable Gentlemen doesn't like his politics. Davis even goes further and says Major League Baseball needs to stay on Capitol Hill's good side - or at least the right side - particularly given the recent misdirection coming from McCain and his bunch over the steroid issue. Do we really want to go back down this road, political blacklisting and governmental intimidation?

This is modern American politics in a nutshell, folks. Stupid shit done by scary assholes who don't give a damn about anything other than holding onto their political power. I don't know how this could be perceived any other way.

I'm Sorry, It Just Doesn't Fit

2005-06-30T17:06:00.000-05:00

So I get this link from some wingnut whiner over at Atrios' place, and it got me to thinkin', as I'm sometimes wont to do. See, I'm a dude that digs on logic. When I hear a statement, I have to recognize that it actually means something other than just gibberish used to induce an emotional response. When presented with a scenario, I do my best to examine all the evidence, consider all the variables, and come up with a solution that maximizes benefits for not only me, but everyone involved as much as possible. I'm not always successful, granted. More often than not, I crash and burn horribly, particularly when it comes to matters of romance. Figure that out... but I digress. Anyhow, if someone tells me I should think a certain way, the first thing that pops in my mind is "Why?" thanks to Socrates. "Just because I said so" only cuts it with my folks.

The gist of the link, dear souls, is that the new president of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is spittin' fire and brimstone. Apparently, this excitable boy - who is a real winner, let's make no mistake - is saying that his recent electoral victory "marked the dawn of a new Islamic revolution". He says they're gonna whip the whole planet, and the wingnuts' general contention is we have to do something. Something that involves blowing up a helluva lot of people whose only crime is being born somewhere close to this jackass. Otherwise, we're repeating the mistakes that allowed Hitler to take power. In other words, Nazi Fascism is the same thing as Islamic Fundamentalism.

Now, first off, I hate hate hate comparisons like that. I really do. For one, they're just too easy, since Hitler's too good a booger man. Mention his name, and anyone in his/her right mind thinks "complete bastard". Problem is, the modern Arabic world isn't 1930s Germany, and the Nazi ideology is emphatically different from the many strains of Islamic fundamentalism, and there are many we don't even know about as far as the media and government go. The same thing, for whatever it's worth, goes for when liberals compare Iraq to Vietnam. It's just not the same. Study and learn from history and past mistakes, sure, but realize that the world continues to turn and evolve despite our dearest wishes to the contrary. Anyhow, when I hear this argument, I start considering things.

Thing about Nazi Germany and particularly Hitler is that they kept up to speed with current events. Germany in the early 20th century was home to some of the most brilliant minds in physics - theoretical and experimental - in this history of mankind. It's stunning - and greatly humbling - when you think of how smart those fuckers really were (ol' Al, in particular; scary smart) and just how many of them they were. Hell, you couldn't swing a dead cat in Munich after the First World War without hitting a half dozen brilliant bastards.

Though no one wants to own up to being in league with the scum of the earth, not all of 'em split when the Little House Painter took the reins. Some of 'em dug on the Nazi ideology and some just didn't give two shits one way or another. Some got out while the gettin' was good, particularly the Jewish ones, and a few like Max Planck stuck around for a bit and tried to bring some sanity into Hitler's madness. Usually, they split before too long, as well. But a couple hung around and enjoyed a Fuehrer enthusiastic about what these men of science could provide the Hun war machine. Wernher Von Braun, truly a man who saw no borders, is a primo example of this.

That's the thing, see. Germany wanted to rule the world, but the Nazi ideology was based on race rather than religion. Sure, Hitler played ball with the local religious leaders who would play ball with him - even though offered no other choice - and he apparently had an interest in the supernatural (including Christian artifacts like Longinus' Spear). Gobbledygook, sure, but it was nevertheless desired for the further fortune of the Aryan Race. Or at least that's what Hitler said, anyway; I think the one-nut little shit just wanted to be in a position where he could eradicate anyone who made fun of his mustache and his corpropheliac tendencies. It's true, apparently, Hitler liked to be shit on.

And this is what gets me. From what I understand about the most powerful and persuasive branch of Islamic fundamentalism, they want to transform the world into an Islamic paradise (or maybe just their own particular areas; information differs and, frankly, I don't think these yay-hoos do the compromise thing). But their paradise wouldn't be one of better Muslims through science, but one that's exactly the same as the height of Muslim power back in the early part of the Second Millennium. Before, ironically enough, the fundamentalist mindset of Wahhabiism settled in good and hard, and the Arabic world's development slowed considerably. Interesting stroke, that.

And for what it's worth, this is what makes Islamic fundamentalism different from our homegrown Christian variety, even the real lulus like the Assembly of God and whatnot. Despite all their caterwaulings to the contrary, there's very little Biblical basis for such groups' world view and, frankly, the historical basis is pretty damn shaky. Christian fundamentalism, for all the irritation it causes, is basically a modern interpretation of the Bible while the Wahhabis, for example, reject any and all change from 950 A.D. on or so. That includes social changes, advances in technology or new realizations about how our world works.

Anyhow, here's where the comparison falls apart for me. These screaming nutjobs are quite willing, oddly enough, to use modern weapons, but the mindset's still stuck in the past. Their goal - either goal, frankly - is impossible. At mankind's current stage of development, and while I'm no expert on such matters, I think it's safe to say there's no way you'd be able to establish and maintain a one-world ideology (apart from Mammon, of course, but we don't really like to talk about that) that encompasses and subjugates every single nation, religion, ideology, race, ethnicity or individual on the planet. Won't happen, it just won't.

Secondly, not all Muslim thinks alike. As amazing as it is for our wingnut friends to consider such a prospect, it's nevertheless true. I've know a few Muslims in my time, but simple common sense will tell you that an Iraqi will think differently from a Jordanian or an Iranian or a Yemeni or a Pakistani, despite the common background and unification of religion, just as an American Catholic will view the world at least slightly differently than a Mexican Catholic or a Spanish Catholic. People are funny that way. Going further, just as my mindset is slightly skewered because of my rural upbringing - as opposed to if I was born in a big city - someone from rural Iraq will view things slightly differently than someone who was born and raised in Downtown Baghdad.

Hitler achieved this, true, but it's important to remember that, first, he systematically eradicated all competition and dissent, and even then, just managed to get the majority of folks in one country. And even then, only for a little while and, basically, only by keeping 'em so busy with war that they had little time for anything else. In the end, he still got his butt kicked once the rest of the world got its collective shit together, and that was fifty years ago. Does it even come close to logical to think that the rampaging Muslim horde could really tamp down the U.S., Russia, China and Europe? Nationalism aside, there's over a billion people in China and they'll fight just as hard as anyone else will when the shit hits the fan.

Finally, none of these screaming nutjobs in the "Islamofacist" corner are on the same page. Again, I am no expert on these things, but there's seventy skillion of these little groups wherein Al Qaeda and Hamas make for the big fish, and you can barely get through the day without some aspect of Islam declaring you a "heretic". They might work together from time to time, but you can bet that just like the Joker and Lex Luthor, they're watching their "partners" as closely if not closer than they are the guys in the funny outfits.

So... I'm supposed to believe that an anachronistic, backwards-looking, poorly funded, eternally squabbling, group of raving lunatics only tentatively supported by their own neighbors can subjugate the entire world in, apparently given the urgency of our wingnut friends' cries, no time flat. Not only that, but apparently they can whip the world's best-funded, best-equipped, most technologically advance military protecting the most diverse nation on the earth, a country so antagonistic to the idea of a "group mindset" that we can't agree on whether or not our first true leader was a good guy or not. In other words, us.

I'm supposed to buy all that?

If This Ain't A Sign Of The Apocalypse, Then Nothin' Is...

2005-06-26T22:12:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason, my mind has taken a eschatological turn of late. Nothing morbid, mind you, but the fascination stems from a bit of reading I’ve done lately. Apparently, there’s stuff called "strange matter" potentially causing massive destruction. Then there's the fears that physicists using atom smashers to study the fundamental building blocks of creation might accidentally slap the wrong two wiglets together and make up something that would, basically, cause creation to unravel (much like early fears that detonating the first atomic bomb would cause all other atomic material to blow up or set the atmosphere aflame). Closer to home, Yellowstone National Park is, basically, setting on top of - and was caused by - a gi-normous"supervolcano" which, if it erupted, would result in a serious drop in tourism... all over the country and probably most of the planet. Then there's the possibility of some chunk of interstellar detritus smacking into the planet again, sorta like what some folks think caused mass extinctions back in the day.

And even leaving out all the ways we could wipe ourselves out, other geological nightmares and the rather worrying tendency for killer viruses to erupt into life after long dormancy, we're pretty much at the whim of the cosmos. Cosmologists know the universe is, best they can tell, not only expanding, but also it's speeding away from us. Sorta. It works like this (I think): the further something is away from us, the faster it's moving. Therefore, a galaxy that's, say, 10 billion light-years away from us is moving at an exponentially faster rater than one that's five billion light-years away. Furthermore, anything that's further than a certain number of light-years away - I can't remember exactly, but I think it was 20-ish or so - cannot be detected and probably never will be, because it's farther away than the universe is old. Or something like that. Scientists really don't know why, but that's the best they can figure out from what they see (which is why science has it up on religion in my book, but that's neither here nor there).

This raises some interesting questions about the universe, and since human beings are terribly hung up on mortality, many of the questions arise around how it began and how it will end. Some folks say there was a "big bang", one cataclysmic moment that got the whole show a-rollin'. Some folks think that's horse hockey. Some folks think the universe will expand to such a point that whatever's pushing it won't be able to overtake gravity, and it'll collapse into itself. A "big crunch", as it were. Some folks say, nah, the universe will just bounce back. Other folks say it'll expand forever, causing a "cold death" as opposed to the "heat death" caused by maximum entropy.

Point is, the universe might end some day and there's nothing we can do about it. Life on earth might end some day, or, more likely, continue in a manner completely alien to how we consider it (given the relatively massive success of bacterial forms of life over "more complicated" forms like us). Either way, we have no way of stopping it, no way of predicting it and, probably, no way of surviving it. For some that's a frightening thought, and many take refuge in spirituality and religion, both of which tries to convince us that there is a purpose and meaning to the universe when science continually reveals that, nope, there isn't. Not as we understand it, anyway, and definitely not in a manner that even remotely suggests it was all made for us.

Other folks - like me, for example - find it somewhat liberating. Life is enduring, but individual life is ever so brief and just about everyone agrees that the big picture is way out of our hands. So have a good time today because a rampaging super-virus, immune to all our science and medicine, might awaken tomorrow and wipe us all out.

Now. I said all that to say all this. Just as we can't figure out how the universe definitely will end, despite all the observations and calculations of science - or, for that matter, all the prophecies and dogma of religion - we really can't tell how individual human cultures will end. Sure, we can look at the fall of the Roman Empire or the collapse of communism in the 20th century and make informed guesses, but like heat death and the big bang, that's all they are: guesses. Physics and anthropology are not the same discipline, of course, so it's foolish to say what holds for one will hold for another. Still, an individual culture, like an individual life, is a growing, evolving, changing, and eventually dying thing. Nothing is permanent. Every mountain slips into the see and every castle is made of sand in the long run. The pharaohs are dust and the buffalo no longer roam. Modern post-Enlightenment Western culture is just over, what, 300 years old, and already we're on the ropes, as this story from the Kansas City Star readily shows.

Yep, you read that right. There's a company in Great Britain that's marketing spray-on mud to SUV drivers so they can look like they've been roughing it without it actually getting all that rough. I'm not making this up, costs $14 bucks a can. Seriously.

Oh, well. And, of course, this is another reason why the aliens haven't showed up yet.

Home Is Still Home

2005-06-19T14:52:00.000-05:00

JohnSugg.com, Group Senior Editor of the excellent Atlanta alt-weekly Creative Loafing has an excellent series on the Edgar Ray Killen case in my home state of Mississippi. There's all kinds of neat stuff there, and he's doing daily reports for truthout.org. Here's today's dispatch, which includes some moving testimony from one of the victims' mother and a little wit from the defendant's brother.

Speaking of my home state, I went back to Mississippi last week for my first cousin's wedding. She's the baby of the bunch. As always, it was nice to see a whole lot of folks I haven't seen in a long, long time and it's always a little startling to see how much life changes when you're not paying attention. And, speaking of home, my dear mother sent me this website, designed and maintained by a first cousin of my childhood neighbor and sixth-grade math teacher, Mr. Barry Green. There's a nice little eulogy for Mr. Green's father, Mr. James William Green, who passed away recently.

Home is always home, one way or another.

Socrates Wept

2005-06-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

This is heavy stuff, y'all. It's an op-ed piece adapted from a speech given by photojournalist Molly Bingham. She gave the speech at Western Kentucky University last month. Bingham's a hard banger, spending time covering the ugly shit in Iraq. She even spent almost two weeks in Spring 2003 detained by Iraqi security forces at the infamous Abu Grahib prison.

I really can't add much to Bingham's excellent article. She's saying the right things. We have quit asking the hard questions and the media ain't doing its job anymore. We're both afraid of being seen as "unpatriotic" so we shun submitting the government to scrutiny. The government refuses to come clean and people are so scared of... well, something that they're letting it happen. We're letting it happen.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. That's how we learn. And personally, I always get suspicious when I ask a question and instead of receiving an answer, I get an insult for having the audacity to question. Makes me wonder what that person's hiding.

Well, I'll Be Damned...

2005-05-31T17:44:00.000-05:00

I'm sure this is all over the networks and internets, but in case someone missed it, we now know who Deep Throat was. He was - or is, as the gentlemen in question is still kickin' - former number two guy at the FBI W. Mark Felt. I read this at MSNBC this morning and figured it was legit, but former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee and former reporter Carl Bernstein have confirmed it. Mr. Felt, who recently turned 91, made the revelation in a recent Vanity Fair interview, spurned on by his children.

Bernstein and his former partner Bob Woodward long said they'd never drop the dime on "Deep Throat" until the source died. Apparently, Mr. Felt was long considered a good guess for the mysterious informant, though he always denied it and, according to his children and grandchildren, always had questions about the rightness of what he did.

Me, I don't know. There's something distasteful about a squealer, admittedly, but at the same time, what the Nixon administration did was unconscionable. I really can't think of a more deserving candidate for a serious nut-crushing, politically speaking, than Nixon in his heyday, though the Bush malAdministration is heading that way. And, apparently, Felt might've done his cloak-and-dagger thing out of spite, as he was passed over as head of the FBI - which was on the outs with Dick's folks - for a Nixon insider. Still and all, as a former journalist and as someone long fascinated with the game of American politics, this is an interesting revelation.

And it brings to mind something else. I've recently been reading Warren Ellis' top-notch comic series Transmetropolitan, and while I find it enjoyable - though a bit too crass just for the sake of being crass (much like Preacher or The Authority) - something recently struck me about what I read. The former president outlaw journalist Spider Jerusalem - based not so much on the late Hunter S. Thompson and more on the ideal of a drug-gobblin', truth-spreading, ass-kickin' Doctor Gonzo - faces is called "The Beast". He's a bastard and more than willing to bend the law to achieve his results. However, he does feel he's trying to help people, in his own twisted way, by giving them what people (he feels) truly want: each day is much like the one that follows. There's probably some truth to that.

However, somewhere along the line - I forget exactly which issue and I'm too lazy to look it up - "The Beast" loses his re-election campaign to a man Spider calls "The Smiler". The Smiler believes in nothing. He just wants to be president so he can screw with people and all he cares about is staying power, and he's much more vicious in dealing with his "enemies". I hate to read too much into it, but I can't help but feel that's awfully familiar to the guy we've got running the White House these days. If nothing else, the complete lack of any sort of acknowledgement from the Bush malAdministration of the complete lack of WMD's in Iraq or ties to al Qaeda - and the insistence on "reforming" Social Security despite most of the populace being dead set against the idea - makes me wonder if our "Smiler" really cares one way or another.

I really can't abide apathy, especially not in a president.

Personally, I'm Looking Forward To The Day My Libido Is No Longer A Concern

2005-05-27T14:46:00.000-05:00

I'm a news junkie. And while it might not be apparent given the rather sporadic updating of this here blog, I spend most of my free time on the internets, wandering around the dark corridors looking for something to tickle my funny bone. About half the time, it's something in the news. I have to admit, one of the few things that keeps me on this planet is the myriad of dumbass things human beings do.

Now, last week, we all heard how almost two hundred prisoners in New York state - including rapists and child molesters - had received Medicaid-reimbursed Viagra while serving time. This is over a five-year span, and some of the charmers included folks who’d committed crimes against two-year-olds. Now, see, that's just funny to me, that the governmental beast is so far out of whack that kiddie-diddling cons can get stay-hard pills while at the same time, Medicaid's being bled dry and almost 44 million people in this country have inadequate access to health care and insurance. Well, ya gotta laugh, don't ya?

On a related note, a couple of doctors up in New York City got busted for giving Viagra to mobsters - as in "We'll make him an offer he can't refuse" guys - for construction and auto repair work by these "legitimate businessmen". They're gettin' coming and going, it seems.

Now, the really funny part. The same boondoggle has apparently happened in Florida, Ohio and now Georgia, where Gov. Sonny Perdue just announced he's nailing down a plan to radically overhaul the state's Medicaid program but didn't bother to tell any doctors, patients advocate or key legislators. Apparently, these instances of inmates popping the little blue pills of manliness is rather common across the country, so much so that state governments are hurriedly making sure they don’t look as dumb as New York, Ohio, Georgia and Florida (which would be quite a feat.)

Luckily, the Bush Administration is on the job, and that just fills me with confidence. As always, it's nice to know our elected representatives are on the ball and spending our tax dollars wisely, isn't it. It's also nice to know that middle-aged assholes who can't deal with the passing of time - and the flagging of boners - in a mature way can get a little pick-me-up, but right-wing busybodies can kill access to a "morning-after" pill because it "encourages people to have sex". I have no idea what they think Viagra - which, as we've seen, is covered by Medicaid and extremely accessible - encourages. Nor do I have any idea why Medicaid covers Viagra or, for that matter, why in the bloody blue hell inmates, much less convicted sex offenders, would have any reason for the drug.

Nice to know the folks who're supposed to be looking out for us are on the job, ain't it.

Maybe It's Not The Big Guy's Good Side

2005-05-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess I'll have to renounce my secular humanism, my love of science and my need to see credible proof before accepting any theory. No longer do we need to spend nights agonizing about man's place in the cosmos, the underlying meaning of it all and, especially, the existence of God. The latter particularly because, well, here's his picture. Or it's the Sun peaking out behind the clouds, if you must be skeptical.

Well, anyway, it's a nice picture. Dunno if I'd pay 50 bucks for it, though.

Personally, I Wouldn't Put So Much Emphasis On A Word The President Can't Pronounce Properly...

2005-05-16T14:40:00.000-05:00

The always two-gunnin' Grand Moff Texan has a rather nifty entry over at Daily Kos concerning some of the rather distressing repeat judicial nominees Bush keeps trying to shoehorn in, resulting in this whole filibuster brouhaha. It's pretty damn thorough and there's not much I can add to it, though I must, it's rather disconcerting to see just how unabashedly pro-corporate and anti-individual rights some of these folks are, considering how hard the party that's supposed to be for smaller government is pushing for them. It's also a little tedious that the whole thing is being wrapped up in questions of religion and "holding true to the Constitution", when the whole affair has absolutely nothing to do with either.

But, of course, that's American politics in a nutshell. Hey, look! Newsweek may have reported something that might not have been 100% accurate, even though it came from a governmental official and, of course, no one in the media will think of outing an anonymous source that burns them! It ain't a runaway bride or a missing white girl or a celebrity on trial, but it'll do for the time being, I reckon.

Declare Those Pennies On Your Eyes...

2005-05-12T16:35:00.000-05:00

This is interesting. What it is, basically, is a breakdown of how the average tax dollar from Athens, GA, from the 2004 year was spent. The average household in Athens paid $3,512 in federal income taxes in 2004. Of that, $1,052 was spent on military and defense, compared to (for example) $121 in veteran’s benefits, $129 on education, and $14 on job training. Rather telling, I think.

The PDF document also gives a few interesting facts on how tax money is spent as a whole. For example, despite the hullabaloo about the Bush malAdministration "protecting us from terrorism", only three percent of money spent on security and just five percent on the much-vaunted Homeland Security. Interest payments on the national debt consume almost 19 cents of every tax dollar, and again despite much yowling from the Bush folk, only half a penny per dollar is spent on energy conservation. You might think we'd be pumping more money into that, since we're all interested in divesting ourselves from "foreign oil", but well... you'd be wrong.

The above link comes from here, the National Priorities Project. It's a pretty neat site all around, as it not only tells you how your tax money is spent by our elected representatives, but ways said money might be spent better. For example, that $224 billion in tax cuts that's making folks wet themselves could be channeled into health care. It would, in fact, provide over 51 million people via different state and local programs. Now, apparently, there's something in the neighborhood of 44 million Americans who go without health insurance. Ain't that an interesting thought.

Maybe it's just me, but I sometimes wonder just exactly what we're paying our elected representatives for. Oh, yeah...cheerleaders dirty dancing. I forgot.

So Who Would Be The Judean People's Populist Front, Then?

2005-04-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

Man, I live for things like this. It seems that screaming nutjob Fred Phelps is calling out raving dingbat James "SpongeDob" Dobson will burn in ever-lasting agony for being - and I cannot make this up if I tried - "too soft on gays". Why, exactly? Well, in spokeszombie Shirley Phelps-Roper, Dobson's group Focus On The Family enable those dratted gay folks because - and again, I cannot make this up even if I had a head start - "they have the big lie that God loves everyone".

Give 'em hell, Shirl. This is, mind, the same cat who's on record as saying that homosexuals actually want to destroy the institution, and that the destruction of marriage will destroy the Earth. Course, in Fred Phelps' eyes, I guess ol' Dobson is a bit of a softie. Fred says God hates everyone he hates not only the standard gays and not-white/male people, but everyone who doesn't hate as much Fred Phelps. Lucky how that works out, ain't it.

Now, you know what really depresses me about these cats? I'm agnostic, but I know a lot of good folks who do believe with all the certainty they can muster that there is some sort of Supreme Being and some sort of order to the universe. It's not my bag, but I say more power to 'em if it gets 'em through the night. They're generally good people, just trying to get through life as best they can, just like anyone else.

Those folks who might have issues or misunderstandings about homosexuality, but deep down, do want to try to help folks and spread the love as much as possible. Thing is, these ain't the people the "faith-based" crowd really caters to, when you come right down to it. Fred Phelps and James Dobson, however, never seem to fail to get ample airtime. Funny how that works out, ain't it?

Somehow, This Doesn't Surprise Me

2005-04-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

Coming as a shock to absolutely nobody who saw The Phantom Menace or Attack Of The Clones, apparently George Lucas is so hard up for inspiration he had to set a tight regime to force himself to write Episode III. Oh, that bodes well, doesn't it? After sitting through the pain of seeing my childhood demolished by the tripe of the last two movies, I'd already decided not to give Mr. Lucas anymore of my bread. This certainly doesn't help matters.

Things You Need To Know...

2005-04-08T16:08:00.000-05:00

Apparently, there's a lady in Atlanta who's running religious outreach program to strippers. The lady's an ex-stripper, so I guess she knows the score and apparently it's doing pretty good with the glass-heel crowd. Sure, why not.

In other news, Eric Rudolph has agreed to plead guilty in the bombing at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Keep in mind, this is the bombing at Centennial Park during the Summer Games. Jury selection is still going on for the 1998 Birmingham abortion clinic, and Rudolph's been charged with a pair of non-fatal bombings in Atlanta - one at an abortion clinic and one, proving this guy's a real dick, at a lesbian bar. Supposedly, part of the deal means Rudolph will show authorities where 250 pounds of explosives are buried in the hills of North Carolina, where the little shitass hid for so long.

The funniest man in America, Texas Republican Rep. Tom DeLay, is saying the federal courts have "run amok" and, what's more, Congress is letting. Hey, asshole, you're part of Congress! So by your logic, Tommy, you're part of the problem. Meanwhile, the rest of the GOP is basically saying, "Shut your piehole, you insecticide-sniffing mongoloid, at least until we get this filibuster thing pushed through."

And finally, Brian Greene - author of The Elegant Universe - wrote a neat story in today's New York Times celebrating the 100th anniversary of Einstein's various world-changing theories. Go read it, 'cause quantum physics is pretty damn neat. What's even neater - to me, anyway - is that physicists are starting to see why Einstein had such a problem with quantum physics. Basically, it says despite what we wish and hope and believe with all our souls - and be honest, we do this - that the universe doesn't operate in such a manner that we can predict. This bothered Einstein, and you know it bothers the shit out of people who think the Earth is 6,000 years old. Furthermore, it's quite likely we're missing something fundamental in how we look at creation.

There’s more to learn, beloved, and we’re a powerful long way from knowing the Ultimate Truth. I find that very, very cool, personally.

If I Ever Question Why I Left Florida...

2005-04-08T15:46:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, but is this really neccessary? Long story short, the Florida legislature passed what's called the Protection of Persons And Property bill, colloquially known as the “Stand Your Ground Bill”. What it does is pretty simple. Florida - which has fairly loose gun control laws in the first place - has this thing called the "Castle Doctrine", which means you have the right to defend your home against intruders. What that means is if someone's breaking into your home and you have a gun - and something like 6 million Floridians do, which is a disturbing thought in and of itself - you're free to basically shoot first and ask questions later.

In their infinite wisdom, the Florida legislature passed this deal that basically extends the "Castle Doctrine" to anywhere a person has the lawful right to be, such as a grocery store, library or a nursery school. In other words, if you're walking down the street and you feel threatened, you have the right to blast away, no questions asked, and the onus is on the cops to prove that you did it with malice aforethought. All you gotta prove is that you felt "threatened". Gov. Jeb Bush is gonna sign it probably, the NRA plumb loves it of course, and the politicos in Florida are trumpeting it as a solid "get tough on crime" measure.

Lovely. Now, of course, a lot of the opposing law makers and your general gun control-type crowd are saying it'll make some "wild west" type situation on Florida streets, quick draws at noon and such. Personally, like the situation with the signs in Arizona, I don't really think we'll see that. I do, however, think we'll see a lot of yay-hoos who've been salivating at the thought of popping that asshole at the gas station going through with it. I also gotta think we'll see an increase in the number of completely innocent people being shot for no other reason than they were around some dipstick who managed to spook some other dipstick who happened to be packing.

Thing is, beyond how sensible this bill is - or isn’t, frankly - I gotta wonder if it's necessary. Like every other blessed state in the union, Florida already has laws on the book that allow citizens to defend themselves if threatened, even to the point of using deadly force. Thing is, Florida laws says you have to make an attempt to escape first. This new law says you don't have to run first. Quoth the Republican sponsor of the so-called "Stand Your Ground Bill", Dennis Baxley of Ocala (which is a really nice town, by the way, full of some of the nicest, if whitest people I've ever met), "If I'm attacked, I should not have to retreat."

Lovely.

Let us recap. If someone threatens you in Florida with bodily harm and you seriously feel the only way to preserve your existence is to end the existence of the person threatening you, no problem. All you gotta do first is see about trying to get away. You can't, no worries. Come October 1, you don't have to think about running first. Again, I gotta ask... just how necessary is this? Prosecutors and cops aren't really thrilled over this bill, naturally, as it puts way too much discretion in the hands of individuals and makes it way too easy for folks to basically get away with shooting people.

Me, I'll be interested to see what happens when the first gangbanger busted on a drive-by uses this as a defense. Folks, this is what happens when legislators don't spend near enough time thinking about the bills they're passing. But, hey... if it were about actually passing laws that help folks out, nobody'd work near as hard, I think. Doesn't get as many votes as telling your constituents they're free to lock and load.

Thinking Outside The Box, As It Were...

2005-04-04T15:13:00.000-05:00

Well, this is interesting. Gist of the story is, more and more, teenagers are avoiding sex...sorta. What they're doing, apparently, is concentrating on oral and anal sex, the idea being that anything that doesn't involve vaginal penetration "doesn't count". A recent survey has one-in-five U.S. teenagers saying they've engaged in oral sex. Of them surveyed, barely 14% had engaged in full-on nookie, and in a rather surprising twist that's nevertheless nice to hear, it seems boys are going down on girls more often than vice versa. Ain't that a helluva note.

Kids are seeing the odd beejay or yodel in the valley as "safer" than regular intercourse - which it is, but you still oughta be careful, as the story points out - and in any event, it doesn't count. The Clenis, of course, is to blame. Y'all, if you'd get pissed off if you caught your significant other engaged in it, it counts. End of story.

This story comes on the heels of the announcement by a bunch of Yale and Columbia University researchers that a whole lotta them abstinence pledge kids are going at it like squirrels. The pledge-keteers were, the study says, four more times likely to have anal sex as their first time, and overall, six times more likely to give head than a non-pledging-yet-abstinent-nevertheless teen. When it's all said and done, teens who took the pledge were 88% more likely to have sex before marriage, compared to 99% of teens that didn't. Considerably less shocking is that the pledgers are less likely to use condoms or get tested for STDs than teenagers whose parents aren't scared shitless of fucking.

The head of a group called the National Abstinence Clearinghouse (which hopefully doesn't involve Ed McMahon in any way) said the study was "bogus" and, furthermore, the kids who said they had sex were lying about taking the pledge. Well, of course they lied, but not in the way this dingaling means.

Now... I'll freely admit that the chance of me getting laid when I was in high school was about as likely as a duck writing Wagnerian operas, but I nevertheless think abstinence for teenagers is a smart idea. I also think a comprehensive sex education program, starting in grammar school and conjoined with a solid education in overall health, is a damn good idea. Pretending that kids are gonna do what they told their parents to keep said adults happy is, well, a bit naive. Kids can pledge all day they won't wreck the family car - I sure did - but a smart parent still teaches the little rapscallion how to drive. I'll grant you, of course, the situation is a bit different for sex, but the concept is the same.

I really think we infantilize teenagers and try to protect them from the world - which can be a mother, I'll grant you - but it's foolish to think it'll work, and it's doubly insulting when parents are shocked that such insulation doesn't work. Teach your kids what you must, answer all their questions honestly and encourage them to wait until they're really ready for the big ride, but do drop the whole "until marriage" bullshit, please. Beyond just the "test drive" theory of picking a spouse, it's creepy to me that we basically tell kids sex is harmful and sinful and nasty and will ruin your life, so y'all save it for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and love more than anyone.

And people wonder why I'm strongly considering eternal bachelorhood...

Well, I'll Be Damned...

2005-04-01T15:00:00.000-06:00

Mitch Hedberg died Wednesday. He was 37 and, apparently, it was heart failure. He was born with a weak heart. Bummer. He was funny as hell, more than just a "Steve Wright clone" but a genuine stream-of-conscious bad rapper in the grand style of Lord Buckley of all that's weird and wonderful in this world. Granted, it could be an April Fool's hoax, but it seems it's legit.

And apparently, Jerry Falwell is on the mend. That's how the world, works I guess: we lose too much laughter and keep too much fear and loathing.

Take it easy, dude.

And The Inanity Continues...

2005-03-31T05:27:00.000-06:00

A rather interesting quirk of this whole Schiavo stupidity is how much of a division it's causing for rank and file Republicans. Such as this fellow, for instance, a very conservative judge on the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. In fact, this Judge Stanley F. Birch authored opinions that upheld banning dildos in Alabama and gay adoption in Florida, and has been described by them that know as "squarely in the Scalia/Thomas camp". In other words, he's a strict "original intent" type when it comes to the Constitution and doesn't pussyfoot around.

Been hearing a lot of this lately. Makes me wonder if certain parts of the GOP aren't regretting the rather Faustian deal they made with the Christian Right. Here's the money quote, delivered via Columbia University law professor and constitutional expert Michael Dorf:

"'Republicans are not categorically against opening federal courts where they think that doing so would produce politically conservative results,' Dorf said. 'It's easier for a judge to stick by abstract principles than for a politician. The judge only has to answer to the limited audience for judicial opinions. The politician has to answer to voters, who don't generally draw those fine distinctions.'

In the political realm, he said, 'repeated instances of hypocrisy can become consistency.'"

Ain't that the damn truth.

One For The Peach Staters...

2005-03-25T17:19:00.000-06:00

For the Georgia news junkie, this site is a pretty nifty fix. It's a round-up of stories from newspapers all over the state concerning the various issues that are affecting Georgia. It claims to be non-partisan and, for the most part, looks to be just that. In any event, it's a pretty good chunck of daily news to wade through.

Thanks to the Radical Georgia Moderate for the heads-up.

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes 2005

2005-03-24T16:52:00.000-06:00

It was revealed Tuesday that a Swiss biotech firm had inadvertently sold U.S. farmers a strain of genetically engineered corn that hadn't be approved for public use by the U.S. government. The company, Syngenta AG, as well as three U.S. federal regulatory agencies said they're really don't have any idea how much got into the national food supply nor how it actually happened, but they're sure it's safe for both people and the environment. Pretty sure, anyway. And the best part? It's been going on for over four years.

Now. I heard about this yesterday. After reading the story, I got up from my chair and walked outside. To my shock and dismay, I did not see a mass of people armed with pitchforks heading for Washington, D.C. Now I find out, that despite all the warnings and fears, Americans have eating genetically engineered food for over a decade... and didn't know it. It appears that roughly 75 percent of U.S. processed foods - frozen dinners, cooking oil, boxed cereals and what not - contained genetically modified ingredients.

Funny thing is, even though half of the country has no idea they're chomping this stuff down, they trust in governmental regulation industries to keep us safe. That being said, companies developing GM foods aren't required to send data to the FDA for approval. They do it on a voluntary basis. How quaint. On the upside, one has to admit there's been no reports of illness. On the downside, there's apparently no way to track and report allergies or other reactions to such "Frankenfoods". And for what it's worth, our country's intake of corn in staggering quantities is a bit scary.

Lovely. Now, there are some positive aspects that might arise, including drought-proof strains of wheat, but the very fact that even the haphazard FDA - which allows an acceptable level of rat shit in wheat - doesn't really work to hard to make such stuff is nasty is, well... troubling. Course, one really shouldn't be surprised. The government, beloved, does not care about you or what you eat.

For what it's worth, Europeans are a bit more disturbed by the concept of GM foods. Apparently, they really don't put much faith in their governments for some reason. Shows what dummies we are, don't it?

Well, Well, Well...Let Me Down Easy...

2005-03-21T23:37:00.000-06:00

Apart from being completely and totally disgusted with the obvious political circus the whole sordid affair has become thanks to "honorable gentlemen" like Frist and DeLay, I don't really have much of an opinion on the Terri Schiavo flavor of bread and circuses. If you want to know the truth, it’s mainly because I’d hate to find myself in that position. Most folks arguing for or against seem to forget these are human beings we're dealing with here, not political brickbats, but real people going through a really bad time.

I really can't find it within me to loathe the Schindlers, though I do question their actions. I honestly think they're acting out of some warped sense of parental responsibility. Every parent thinks he or she has to move the moon and stars to make sure his/her child is protected and safe. However, what parents think is best for their child ain't always best for the child, much less what the child wants.

And I'll admit, I'm taking the husband's side on this. I wouldn't be surprised if the Schindlers still saw Terri as "their baby", while Michael sees her as a grown woman who was his wife. My parents certainly still see me as an awkward 12-year-old kid who can't keep his shoes tied...rather than an awkward 30-year-old man who can't keep his shoes ties but nevertheless has to make his own decisions now. There's no money left and no man works for 6 years to try save a woman who's long gone except out of love. The doctors say she's gone, but as this article points out, it's not always as simple as that.

What it boils down to is it was a fight between the parents and the husband, both of whom wanted what's best for the poor woman. They couldn't agree, so it went to court. Michael Schiavo has no control over whether or not his wife lives or dies. The state courts have said they're say, and it's not a case of "judicial activism" (which is wingnut code for "we don't like the ruling"), it's a case of the court doing its job. They looked at the facts and made a decision, end of story.

When I was 12, my first cousin Jason was in a truck wreck. It happened on Oct. 31, 1986. That was a Friday. The following Sunday, while all us kids were watching cartoons - including Jason's brother and two sisters - his mother came in and told us he'd gone to be with Jesus. We were closer than brothers, he was my role model and he was gone, just like that. I still can't put into words how devastating it was to me and I've just recently stopped blaming myself for it, even though I had nothing at all to do with it. To be honest, it was probably my first step towards religious skepticism, because I could not reconcile this horrible, useless, unnecessary tragedy that destroy my aunt and battered my tight-knit family with the kind, loving God I'd grown up hearing about. A God that really cared wouldn't let death hurt this much.

And I think that's part of the reason why the questions of this case - Do we have a right to die? How long do you keep someone alive when their mind is gone? What constitutes "gone" and who has the right to say? - resonates so much in this country despite the political boorishness. Our culture has an almost stultifying fear of mortality, so much so that many people are so afraid of death that they fail to actually live their lives. Death is a part of life, it's a natural occurrence and, frankly, it's gonna happen whether you want it to or not. You might as well accept it, and concentrate on enjoying life and enjoying the time you have with their loved ones. Don't put yourself in a position where you'll regret taking those opportunities. And do your loved ones a favor; get a living will. My Uncle Roy had to make the decision to disconnect his 15-year-old son - my cousin, my hero - from the life support systems that kept his lungs breathing and his heart pumping.

That's what a parent has to do, sometimes. Love is doing what best for your loved one even if it causes you pain. Please don't add to their burden if you can help it.

Wonder If She Gives Good Comb...

2005-03-19T02:52:00.000-06:00

Eee-yah-hah...apparently, Paul Wolfowitz has a girlfriend. He's evidently seeing a lady named Shaha Ali Riza, a Tunsian-born British citizen. The woman in question - a divorcee like Wolfowitz - works as a communications adviser for the Middle East and North African department of the World Bank. Lest we forget, Wolfowitz was recently nominated by the Bush people for president of the World Bank, a move many see as not only controversial but completely batshit insane. So, not only does he have no experience whatsoever that would qualify him for such a position and not only has he made a practice in recent years advocating the bombing of places the World Bank usually helps (Wolfowitz was one of the prime architects of the Iraq war), Wolfowitz is fishing off the company pier. And apparently, Wolfowitz's people see no problem in this. Now, as much as I hate to defend the Clenis for anything, but what kind of yowling do you think we'd hear from the crybaby conservative wing of the GOP if a Democratic administration pulled shit like this.

Some days, you just get the feeling that the universe is, indeed, laughing behind your back.

A Different Place And A Different Time

2005-03-18T17:27:00.000-06:00

This post at Atrios' place got me to thinkin', and when I realized how long the comment was going to be, I just decided to run with it here.

Anyhow, the piece is about how the approval rating among Americans concerning interracial marriage didn't reach a plurality until 1991 (at 48%, for what it's worth). It's up to about 73 or so these days, which is pretty amazing to consider how far we've gone in a relatively short time. It's a nice stroke, and it makes you think that maybe, just maybe, this deal will work out eventually. There's a lot one can say about why this has changed for the better, why some people are still against interracial marriage for whatever reason, and how it reflects on the overall struggle for equal protection under the law for everyone regardless of creed, color, religion or sexuality.

There's also plenty of talk as to just who this objection applies to, as in whether it's interracial marriage in general they object to or merely a specific coupling. For example, my Old Man's an ex-Marine and has recently started attending Corps reunions and functions. He's struck up a correspondence - one could hardly call it a friendship - with a cat who lives in South Georgia. This gentleman is very involved with the League Of The South, one of those "we're not racist, we just don't want to be around anyone who isn't white and kinda don't think anyone else should, either" type groups. This guy sends my Old Man literature and emails, which my Old Man sends to me and I have a hearty laugh.

First time they met, they shared a table at the banquet at whatever function they were attending. My Momma's a rather loquacious lady - if you're wondering where I got it from - and will talk all four legs off a mule. It never fails, she can go anywhere on this, the third stone from the Sun, and she'll find someone to talk to on a number of subjects - all delivered with rapid-fire gear-changing tangents - until the person can get away. And God help us all if she runs into someone as likewise talkative, you might as well hang it up. And, apparently, this dude was a talker, and brother, he could flat hang it in.

Eventually, the scattershot conversation drifted around to the cat's interest in The Honah Of The Sooth and, before too long, the subject of interracial marriage. As one might imagine, this feller wasn't very much against it. He wasn't the "well, won't it be tough for the children" bullshit cop-out against it; he was against it with an exclamation point. He went on at length on the topic, evidently spurred on by a black-man-white-woman couple a few tables over.

First, the punch line. The man's wife, who was at the table, is Filipino. Apparently, this defender of the purity of Southern White Women doesn't recognize the humor in that one bit. Now, this line of conversation chilled my folks to this gentleman, but being the horribly polite Southern people they are, they haven't really told him to fuck off yet.

Now, as to why this chilled my folks' opinion. It’s not that they’re particularly liberal as far as the whole racial thing goes, nor are they particularly enlightened when it comes to the concept of interracial marriage. Now, don't get me wrong; my folks aren't what you called outwardly racism, but it'd be a lie to say it wasn't there all the same. Nevertheless, when it comes to the whole argument of interracial marriage, my family has a unique perspective on it.

(Before I start, though, one small digression. The aforementioned Southern Leaguer, when he spoke, spoke directly to my Old Man. My Old Man, in turn, would turn to Momma, who'd more or less answer the man. The man would then reply to my Old Man. The gentlemen's wife, I am told, was not particularly active in the conversation. Usually, her husband answered for her.)

Anyhow, my family, or more specifically, my mother's side of the family, the various folks who married people on my mother's side of the family, the various offspring from said unions, and where applicable, their spouses. They are the Beans. We're from Scottish stock, originally, traced back to the Clan MacBean. We apparently have ties to Clan MacBeth, and yes, that Clan MacBeth (or whoever it was based on). The original ones came over not long after the Revolutionary War, and my mother's people have been in the same general area of Mississippi since the mid-1800s. In fact, apart from my brother, myself and a few scattered cousins, they all still live there. My mother lives on my great-grandfather Bean's old homeplace, less than 200 yards from where she was born.

Mommaw and Poppaw Bean - always just "Mommaw" and "Poppaw"; my paternal grandfather was "Pappaw Thompson" until my teen years and my maternal grandmother died before I was born - had five kids. Three boys and two girls. One uncle is mentally retarded due to a childhood illness, but the other four had a grand total of 10 children. Other that bunch to date, there's 10 kids from that bunch, as well. Only my brother, myself and one other cousin have failed to reproduce. That cousin is married, one just got engaged and the youngest is still in high school. My brother and I currently live as bohemian pains in the ass in a college town pretending we're "artists".

My family is, basically, country folk. We're not rednecks or hicks or white trash - and there is a difference, trust me; if you know, you know - but they are country. There is a difference between country people and someone who lives in an identifiable town, no matter how small said town is and no matter how miniscule the difference is when you get right down to it. Only a few of my kinfolk have beyond a high school education - and a number don't have that - and they're you're average non-frothing conservative type. They're religious, patriotic, law-abiding, conscious of how others view them (perhaps overly so), and fairly mainstream in their taste in entertainment, cuisine, decorating, consumerism and relationships.

They're also all children of a farmer who barely kept above the poverty line. They didn't have electricity until after my mother was born (she's in her mid-50s) and didn't have running water until my youngest uncle (early 50s) was born. The two girls went to college and both became teachers. The two boys both went to work, both in the field of fixing big things that moved a lot of stuff around and made a helluva lot of noise. I figure that, if nothing else, my family has instilled within me a deep love of both education and heavy machinery. I have driven bulldozers and I love them.

None of 'em are rich, but they're all doin’ okay these days. It wasn’t always easy, but they've all been able to give their grandchildren chances they've never had. They all wonder what the hell happened to my brother and me, and they can't understand why we do things the way we do them, but all they care about is if we're happy doing what we do or not. Granted, they seem to think that if we do what they do, we'd be even happier. They may be right, who knows, but what matters is that they're happy.

They're lower-middle class Southern white people who came of age in the '50s and early '60s. They worked the fields along side black people. My mother played basketball in high school and at Delta State University alongside black girls. Even though I heard the word almost constantly, I was also told constantly to never say "nigger" to an actual black person because it was hurtful to them and they, therefore, might be hurtful to you. It didn't occur to me until I hit high school that if it was wrong to call a black person a "nigger" when s/he was around, it wasn't right to say it when s/he wasn't. My family, like everyone else, is a product of our place and time. My family is, therefore, racist. There's no Klan members and there's never any overt hatred of people "not like us", but there is a definite conception of "people not like us". That, in a nutshell, is racism.

Still, my mother's best friend when she taught school was a black lady. I had black friends, more black friends than I do now. I also had a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. Not because I hated black folks, but because I was "proud to be Southern". It was part of what defined me. It gave me a group to belong to, which is where that nonsense connects with the vast majority of Southerners who embrace the Klan Flag. It's not hatred of other colors, but a need to be a group. It's still racism, though.

My family's good people - some of the best you'll find - but they're still racist. I'd say they couldn't help it, but that would be letting them off the hook. They can help it; they just chose to not even try. Personally, I think everyone has a fear of The Other, and that's where racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and religious bigotry comes from. For most people, it isn't the overt, frothing kind, but it's there nevertheless. The trick is try to not give in to it. I don't know if anyone will ever truly succeed, but the whole point, I think, is to try.

But, most folks don't. The system is racist and it's set up so that any change that comes, comes slowly and with struggle. But change comes nevertheless. Change cannot be stopped. My folks are the norm, not a deviance anymore. I admit, being a straight white dude, I'm in a position where I can call that progress, but you gotta hold onto whatever you can.

The reason, I think, most folks stay stuck in this undercurrent racist thought - fear of The Other - is that there's generally no reason to really confront it. People, for the most part, avoid confrontation of any sort like the Devil avoids church, and that goes double for racism. Oh, sure, we all have friends who are a different color than us, but we're all aware of it. It's always a factor in the relationship, even if it's just a case of "a guy I know who's Asian". It's there, but again, it shouldn't matter. It does, but you gotta try...

Still, people occasionally get their racism thrown back in they're face, and that generally happens when two people of a different skin tone decide to hitch up. That happened in my family. About seven years ago, my first cousin married a black dude. He's a helluva guy: hard working, good-natured, intelligent, polite, the whole nine yards. But he is black and, brother, when he married my cousin, the shit not only hit the fan, it went through the roof.

Now, at the time, I was living in Gainesville, Florida, which is about 560 miles from my Peaceful Valley home. Therefore, I missed most of the fireworks. My brother was there, though, and he said it wasn't pleasant. Frankly, I'm glad I missed out on the bulk of it, because what I saw wasn't pretty. It wasn't pretty the way various members of my family were acting. You heard outright nigger-bashin' racism and you heard limp-wristed bullshit like "well, the kids will have it hard growing up because of other people". It also wasn't pretty to see my family's racism, always there, thrown in my face. It wasn't pretty to have to confront my own racism that I thought was by then non-existent.

No one, especially liberals, like to admit the dark, dirty secret of life in America: it's racist and we’re racist. Being a white guy, I don't recognize it for the most part because, frankly, the game's geared for me to win it. If you're a white guy in America with a decent mind, the only thing that holds you back from being a "success" as defined by America (i.e.: having a shit-ton of money) is how ambitious you are and how far you're willing to go to get what you want. Simple as that. Not being Jewish helps, too. If you're not a straight white guy, the deck is stacked against you from the get-go. And you really can't help but take advantage of it, partly because basic human instinct says look out for number one, but mainly because we just don't recognize it. The whole thing about fish and water, and such and such.

The key, though, for straight white guys is to at least try, I think. Recognize that, yes, the game is geared for you and, yes, you gotta take care of your own first, but no, you don't have to be an asshole about. Be conscious of how things are and do the best you can to live and let live. Everyone's an asshole, basically, so skin color is almost irrelevant.

Tackling the problem as a whole is a tough one and almost an insurmountable obstacle, which isn't to say it shouldn't be accomplished. However, there's really no point trying to argue the pros of racial tolerance with some who's mind is deadset in thinking anyone who isn't white should be considered not quite "us". Again, I'm not saying those windmills shouldn't be tilted from time to time, but one has to recognize when one is pissing in the wind.

The very best thing someone who's truly interested in helping the tide of progress can do is simply do the best they can to help it along. It sounds a bit circular, but it's the best way I can describe it. Live you're life to your standards and just be an example instead of trying set standards for others. Walk the walk along with talking the talk, in other words. Change comes from within but it affects what's without.

And change continues, as the increasing acceptance of interracial marriage suggests. Eventually, it'll only be the sad, myopic few who even give a shit one way or another. While it's on my mind, I guess I should add this is directed mainly at white people. I recognize there's a strong feeling in many other ethnic groups to not marry outside one's race for various reasons, but not being anything but a white guy, I can only speak from a white guy's perspective. I can't make that argument, nor can I refute it. Wouldn't know where to begin.

But even there, progress continues unabated. It may slow down and speed up, but eventually, people come around. In racial terms, things are much better than they were 10 years ago, much less 50. Once the box is open, it can't be closed, and while it's not exactly equal to the Civil Rights movement, the gay rights movement will eventually succeed. Gay people will eventually be able to be in a completely empty, miserable, soul-destroying marriage with all the rights and privileges of straight people. You can't stop progress.

As for my cousin? Well, things got better. Some of my kinfolks keep an icy distance, sad to say, but there's a general sense of "Well, it's not my doin's", which is probably the best we can hope for. The husband came to the Christmas diner this past year, the first time he's been there. He and my cousin have three kids that everyone just flat-out dotes on, and if that's what it takes, then that's good enough for me.

Either way, you can't stop progress no matter how hard you try.

Granted, I Was In An Altered State A Good Deal Of The Time, But...

2005-03-18T05:06:00.000-06:00

The latest conservative whine meme is that admittedly old bugaboo of college campuses being hotbeds of rampant liberalism. Led by switch-hitting bullshit artist David Horowitz, crybaby conservatives - after bitching about political correctness and Affirmative Action - are running to the federal government for "protection". Seems they think they're being repressed on campuses and apparently they're having to hide in sewers or something so they're not indoctrinated by mean ol' liberals.

It's all hogwash, of course, but anyone with a lick of sense coulda told you that. Dig it, most kids going to college these days could give two shits about political activism, liberal or conservative. Most of them are more interested in getting out of their parents' house, having a good time, getting laid, meeting new people and - just maybe - learning something along the way. The same thing goes for teachers, who're more interested in keeping their jobs than "shoving liberal ideology" down anyone's throats.

And as an aside, what sort of mind keeps using that imagery, anyway? The gay agenda, the feminist agenda, the atheist agenda... conservatives are awfully concerned by things being shoved down their throats.

Anyhow, this is a whole lot of nonsense, in my opinion. I took a number of "liberal arts" classes and, honestly, I can only think of one professor who made any sort of deal about his politics. The man in question - and I'll protect his privacy - road with the Freedom Riders and staged sit-ins at lunch counters in the South during the Civil Rights struggle. That's it. The rest? They taught me the stuff I was supposed to learn for the classes (or tried to, anyway).

The story by Russell Jacoby cited above makes another really good point. If conservatives are so concerned with making sure there's balances in state-run colleges, why aren't they yowling for more liberal representation in the Pentagon, the military, Corporate America and the police. Personally, I'd love to see the cops get more liberal - not to mention our country's drug laws - but that's just me.

There is the idea that folks like Horowitz and his groupies are doing this because they hate education. I could buy that. I mean, this is the same side that howls non-stop that creationism should be on equal footing with evolution (which I don't understand, because you'd think they'd be more pissed off about something like quantum theory or, for that matter, cosmology in general). But frankly, I think it boils down to the same thing that causes a lot of complaining from the Irrational Bush Lovers: we don't love them, so they want to change the law to make us love them.

Frankly, I don't know if I quite understand why the hullabaloo (apart from some conservatives are just incredible crybabies, that is). Just because a liberal professor has a certain point of view a student might disagree with, it doesn't mean the student has to change his/her views. It just means the student has to bullshit the professor to get the grade. Hell, I thought that was what college was all about.

No Dog Jokes, Either, Cause I Like Dogs...

2005-03-06T16:21:00.000-06:00

As a general rule, I rarely make a comment on anything from Atrios' place, mainly because I recognize a large portion of folks reading these words come from said site. That said, I'm posting this anyway because it needs to be seen. There's a bill in the Senate to raise the minimum wage by $1.10. Good thing, right? Well, Dan Savage's favorite senator, Pennsylvania's Rick Santorum, has snuck in some rather nasty shit, including eliminating the minimum wage and overtime for over 6.8 million workers, and eliminating regular wages for people who get tips.

Say you go to a restaurant. Your waitperson makes a little over two bucks an hour (depending on the restaurant, state, city, etc.) and the rest of his/her salary comes from tips (which are taxed as income). Santorum's monkeyshines would take away that regular wage, such as it is, and force the waitpersons to pay higher taxes in the process. Lovely. Anyhow, read it and do what you gotta do to get the info out to other people. Course, the upside for the GOP is if the Democrats find the spine to shoot down this bill with Santorum's riders, the Republicans can say they "voted against raising the minimum wage and hate working people".

Here are some of the things the modern GOP has done or tried to do to "help" out the working man and woman:

- Weakening workers' rights and pay

- Ending bankruptcy for individuals

- Killing Social Security

- Limiting access to the Courts for individuals

- Appointing mostly judges who have a proven history of ruling consistently for corporations over workers

- Huge tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations

- Gut or weaken laws and regulations restraining corporations while tightening them severely for individuals (thank you, PATRIOT ACT)

- Impose censorship and media control.

- Eliminate inheritance taxes for the wealthy

That list, by the way, comes from the good folks in the A-Man's comments board. Remember, the government does not give a shit about you or your family. The Democrats, it seems, refuse to risk losing "political capital" to fight for you. You have to fight for yourself. Don't take this bullshit. Howl.

I'll Avoid Any Jokes About Being "On The Road Again"...

2005-03-05T20:06:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, I had what I consider the highlight of my existence. For nearly two hours, I had the full attention of one Willie Nelson. He had just got through playing a show here in Athens, and I got the chance to talk about music, politics and life in general. With Willie. On his bus. And, yes, he smoked me out. It was awesome.

I say "highlight" because it was; I'm a huge, and I mean huge Willie Nelson fan. I've been one since somebody gave me a copy of The Red-Headed Stranger album when I was eight. I can honestly say that if I were to die tomorrow, it's okay. I've hung with Willie. And you haven’t, so there.

That being said, there's always been more to admire about the man than just his music. A long-time advocate of progressive causes and protection of the American family farmer - note Farm Aid, now in its second decade, and his enthusiastic support of Dennis Kucinich for president - Willie combines the two with his new venture Willie Nelson Biodiesel. The company is targeting truck stops and convenience store chains to market his brand, made mainly from soybean oil, and apparently works on any car's engine without any sort of modification. It's currently going at $1.79. Right now, the concentration of gas stations that offer biodiesel are mainly in the Midwest and there's still some bugs to sort out, apparently, but industry experts also see a very bright future for it.

The upshot of it is fairly simple. One, biodiesel reduces American dependence on foreign oil, which is proving to be something of a booger as of late. Secondly, it helps out farmers, as soybeans tend to be a resource that's quickly renewable. Finally, it's much better for the environment than fuels that use petroleum. Me, I'm generally given to thinking most of Willie's ideas are pretty good from the get-go*, but even beyond simple fandom, I'd think it'd be a good idea if out country could turn it eyes away from oil-based products as quickly as possible.

* Yeah, yeah, there duet with Toby Keith, I know. But as the man himself told me, "Hell, son, they can't all be Waylon."

The Best Thing Going Today

2005-03-04T15:57:00.000-06:00

As both some who considers himself a progressive and a seeker of the truth, I've long had it with that so-called ringleader of the even more so-called "Liberal Media", The New York Times. In a very small nutshell, it's my opinion that the mainstream media is neither liberal nor conservative, as we define those terms in a political context. The mainstream media is pro-Corporate, pure and simple. They're owned by folks who care more for making money than informing the public, and their chief interest is not seeking the truth but maintaining the status quo. I've said it in other places, and I'll say it here. The government exists to protect us from corporate malfeasance and the press exists to protect us from governmental shenanigans, and neither one can do that when they're both owned by Corporate America.

That being said, add me to the chorus of folks singing hosannas for Frank Rich. Not only does he have a sharp, cutting eye when it comes to media criticism, he's got a way with a turn of phrase. His latest piece basically says what I said in my Flagpole story. The intertwining worlds of societal criticism, political punditry and flat-out pure journalism are in sad, sorry shape, but the really sad thing is how little has changed since Hunter Thompson was regularly going for Richard Nixon's throat. Even more synchronicity at work: Rich notes that the loss of Dan Rather isn't that much of a loss. Be damned.

While the thought's on my mind, thanks to everyone who emailed all the good comments about the aforementioned Flagpole piece. I'm much obliged and very touched. I do want to start writing for publication more - or, as I like to call it, "getting paid" - but I'm still trying to work out the details, such as figuring out a way to get a regular gig that didn't involve deadlines.

Anyhow, speaking of the Grey Old Lady, my buddy Luke from We Vs. The Shark - an excellent little quartet for those of y'all into the whole math rock thing - thinks this picture was monkeyed with. It just doesn't look right, says he, and I'm inclined to agree. Luke thinks some of the shadows don't match up, the lettering on the plane isn't right and both Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah Bin Abdel-Aziz look "washed out". Me, I can't tell for sure, but it's piqued my curiosity, and I wouldn't put it past the Times, sad to say.

In local news, the Georgia Legislature approved legislation yesterday that would give Georgia companies a $1 billion tax break over the next 10 years. The bill essentially changes the way corporations in Georgia are tax, shifting it from stuff like property, payroll and sales combined to sales only. Proponents say it'll shift more of the burden on out-of-state companies, while critics say the taxpayers will take the shot, making up the lost revenue through tax increases and/or cuts in services.

Now, lest we forget, the same GOP-run state legislature is working like the dickens to pass legislation that would make it harder to get info on both out-of-state companies that want to do business in Georgia using taxpayer dollars. The idea is to keep the details secret until the deal either goes through or falls apart. Proponents, of course, say it'll help with jobs, though they fail to cite an example of a company that refused to do business because of Georgia's previous openness or, frankly, why the government wants to do business with a company that wants to hide its goodies from the public. The House also passed a bill, now in the Senate, that'd hide the names of donor's to universities and colleges. Again, I gotta ask just why these things need to be such an all-fired secret? The bright spot in all this is the corporate secrecy is tailspinning pretty badly, and the Democrats are actually showing a little spine when it comes to keeping government open and, therefore, honest.

Other examples of recent legislative silliness include longer mandatory delays for folks filing for divorce, a pork-laden $17.4 billion budget, a wait for abortions, a bill that legalizes "noodling" for catfish (just click the link) and, of course, a pay raise. Gotta have a pay raise. Glad to know they’re concentrating on the important issues, ain’t it?

And then there's the whole faith-based schoolin' thing Gov. Sonny Perdue is trying to push through. Even it's sponsor, Columbus Sen. Seth Harp (Republican, natch) says it's designed so that the state's taxpayers are funding churches in schools. Man, I love this state sometimes.

The Last Word...

2005-03-02T16:04:00.000-06:00

Like I said last week, I wrote a piece on Hunter S. Thompson's recent exit from this world of fear and loathing - my return to publication after a mighty long absence - and it ran in this week's issue of Athens' alternative news weekly Flagpole. It's here if you're curious, about halfway down and subtitled Howl, Dammit!. There's a number of folks who wrote on the Good Doctor's impact and loss, including my buddies JoE Silva and Jon Tonge. So, read, enjoy and raise a glass.

In other media endings, Dan Rather is stepping down from the CBS Evening News anchor chair on March 9. As FAIR shows us - and despite what many conservative bloggers and their drones wish us to believe - it isn't really a staggering blow to liberalism nor a mighty defeat of the Vast Liberal Media Conspiracy. While I still haven't decided what to think of the whole "Memogate" affair - it's either a case of tremendously shoddy journalism or a case of extremely nasty political misdirection - Rather's loss is no great loss in my book. He was and is just another mouthpiece for the status quo, and we'll be no poorer for his riding off into the sunset.

So long, Dan. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Selah...

2005-02-23T19:01:00.000-06:00

My buddy Derrick sent me a couple of pieces, one from The Boston Globe and one from The Aspen Daily News, that say friends of Hunter S. Thompson now see, in hindsight, that the Good Doctor's recent suicide was probably planned out. I can see that, frankly. The man had some serious health problems recently - highly indicative of his body just simply giving out, frankly - and he seems the type to call his own shot, as it were.

Hunter didn't want to be an invalid and recently changed his mind on the issue of selling his papers and archives to the highest bidder. His lawyer, George Tobia Jr. of Boston, said it was important his legacy find the proper home, such as a university, rather than being spread all over creation in order to finance his declining years.

Again, this makes perfect sense. And, apparently, when he shot himself, Hunter's wife was on the phone with him and his son and daughter-in-law were in another room of the Woody Creek compound. That makes sense, too. He wanted his family around but didn't want anyone to stop him.

He made his choice and people are seeing the pattern. That's how it goes with suicide, frankly. Everyone always says, "Oh, it's such a shock", but once you start looking at things, it never is. It's never just one thing, either. It all adds up, once you look at it with the benefit of hindsight. Maybe you could've prevented a friend's suicide if you knew what to look for beforehand, but trust me...you never do. And when someone makes that final, horrible decision - and it's well and truly made - nothing in this world can stop him or her from carrying out. You might delay it for a bit, but you'll never stop it.

The problem with suicide, however, is it's all too often used wrongly. Life's tough and suicide shouldn't be considered shameful if someone's seriously thought it out and decided "Well, that's enough." You're gonna die anyway, so I personally see nothing wrong with choosing your shot.

However, as a survivor of suicide, I know it ain't always that cut and dried. Unfortunately, mental illness still carries a heavy stigma in this country, and believe you me, when you hit that rockiest of rock bottoms, you ain't thinking clearly. You don't care about the impact suicide might have on your loved ones or even the possibility of life getting a little better. You just want the pain to stop, and death's the only sure way of making it stop.

So where do we go from here? Who knows. Even with the scars on the wrists of my soul, I don't have the answer for that. I do have suggestions, though. Love your loved ones, don't just have them around for distraction. Pay attention to what they have to say, don't just wait for your turn in the conversation. Respect someone's decision, but help that person make the right decision. Only very, very rarely is suicide the right decision.

And anyone who feels those dark, black thoughts creeping in during the lonely hours of the night, when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls, and there's no one who'll listen or understands...don't hesitate to drop this country boy a line. I don't have any solutions or answers or even help, I admit, but I'll do my best to listen. Also, give these good folks a holler. They'll put you in touch with people who can give more help than I can.

Life's tough, but it's also amazing. Suicide isn't a decision to be made lightly. Think on it some, brothers and sisters, and remember... there’s enough pain in the world, so don’t add more to it unless you have no other option.

Hands Up, Anyone Surprised?

2005-02-23T18:42:00.000-06:00

Lovely. The Bush-appointed U.S. Special Counsel revealed last week in a letter to U.S. Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) that it had dropped over 1,000 whistleblower cases in 2004. In many instances, whistleblowers didn't even get a chance to explain why their cases were valid. Special Counsel Scott Bloch says a mass culling represents "progress" in the system. Right.

For what it's worth, the cases dumped represent a healthy number of cases of fraud, threats to public safety and violations of law by corporations and a number of claims of retaliations by said corporations against whistleblowers. So far, the Special Counsel has yet to represent a single whistleblower in an employment case, which is sorta what it's supposed to do. Long and short of things is this: the government is supposed to keep an eye on corporate America and make sure it isn’t screwing over the public. However, like the press’s job to keep an equal eye on the government for the same reasons, things ain’t quite workin’ out like that. Reckon why that could be...

Remember, beloved...the government doesn't give a damn about you. Democrat or Republican, it does not care one whit as long as the green keeps rolling in. Mr. Bloch's clearing of decks is just another primo example of how egregious that little bit of knowledge is under the current maladministration.

The Banshee Screams...

2005-02-22T15:04:00.000-06:00

Another piece on Hunter S. Thompson, this one from my friend, former teacher and one of the few people I suppose I could call a "mentor", Dr. William McKeen. He's a professor at my alma mater, The University Of Florida, and recently published a book and compiled an anthology on rock & roll writing. I haven't read the book yet, but knowing McKeen, it's worth the time to check it out. McKeen also turned me onto Hunter Thompson back in the day. He also got me into the world of rock criticism, so take from that what you will.

Anyhow, fill a pipe and check it out. It's good stuff.

History Is Written By The Whiners, Apparently

2005-02-22T11:03:00.000-06:00

From our good buddy rorschach comes this story about some Christian group up in Virginia playing with history. Seems this joint called the Christian Heritage Center had a big to-do about religion and politics, and in between saying really nice things like "we're not loving each other enough" - that's for damn sure - they piss and moan about how Christians are persecuted in America even today. Christians have never been persecuted in America. Certain sects like the Mormons have been persecuted, yes - despite them currently running an entire state - but not Christianity as a whole. Please, people complaining about this, move to some place like China if you really want to be a persecuted Christian. They also said George W. Bush was a "good example to today's young people" because he has Jesus Christ as Lord and master. Really. I don't even know what to say to that. Didn't really the Swingin' Nazz was such a warmonger or that he was fine with cutting old folks, fatherless children and the disabled off from being helped.

Anyhow, what strikes me funny about this article - which is otherwise your standard whiny faux-persecuted Christian twaddle - is this pair of grafs:

The new religious group, which recently built a complex on a hilltop overlooking Interstate 64 at Tinkling Spring Road, pronounced Jefferson “the anti-Christian” and George Washington’s opposite.

Jefferson, they said, “feigned belief in God to achieve his own political ends and came to sever Jesus Christ from his divinity.”

Seriously, they said that out loud. Thomas Jefferson was, no doubt, not a fan of Christianity - or religion ruling state, or vice versa - but even the most modest perusal of his words shows us he never pretended otherwise. But I hate to break it to the good folks in Virginia, the Father Of Our Country wasn't that enthralled by Christianity, either. And Washington's famous "Prayer For The United States" which some faux-persecuted Christians use as "proof" ol' George was a man of faith, well... sorry, but someone's been playing around.

Ye gods...Christians in America, listen to me, please. I am your friend, even if I think your beliefs are, in a word, silly. You are not persecuted, okay? A lot of our fellow citizens think your beliefs are, in a word, silly and many others - some who'd even agree with you, inre the metaphysical world - think the idea of getting government involved with religion is very, very dangerous. This, however, doesn't mean you're "persecuted", okay? People making fun of you and people disagreeing with you isn't the same thing as the government making you skulk around, hide your Bibles and deny your beliefs. Nor are they shooting at you when you pray or blowing up cars with that weird fish thing on them. Okay? Okay.

Y'all really want to do some good in this world, how about practicing what you preach and maybe spreading a little kindness and charity in this world, instead of stamping your collective feet because some folks think differently and the government says - for the time being, anyway - that it's okay.

One thing I've always wondered about this whole "America is a Christian nation" thing is, frankly, what kind of Christian is it? Baptist? Methodist? Presbyterian? Catholic? Or if it's, say, Baptist, what kind of Baptist? Southern? Primitive? Freewill? I grew up in a Southern Baptist church community, and I know every little group looks at every other little group as "the wrong group". In other words, if God's word is infallible, why do so many believers disagree on the particulars? And if some dingleberry decides this is a Southern Baptist Christian country, what'll the Methodists do about it? My Christian brothers and sisters...do you really want the government - which has problems keeping the roads in decent shape - telling you how to pray? Study on that a bit and get back to me. Y’all said “not loving people enough” was a big problem, and I say get crackin’, celestials. Might not be a bad idea to show that love to people who disagree with you instead of just foaming at the mouth, but what does this heathern know?

Buy The Ticket, Take The Ride

2005-02-21T17:00:00.000-06:00

For anyone who's interested, I'm working on a piece for publication in an actual media outlet concerning Thompson. When it hits the street, I’ll put up a link here. If it gets rejected - hey, it’s happened before (especially with this magazine) - I’ll post it here. So I'll keep further thoughts on Hunter Thompson's death - and there's plenty - to myself for a bit, but I'd like to point out a few rather nifty pieces by other folks. The always greatSteve Gilliard has some words which should be read, though I have to disagree with his take on the overall impact of bloggers in today's media market and how they compare to the "outlaw journalists" of the past. Let's not get above ourselves, beloved; after all, I have a blog. My buddy Jayne sent me this from This Is London and William Pitt did a nice piece for truthout.org.

And completely contradicting what I said about, I want to make a few more points about Thompson, his death and his impact. As of late, I've become a bit despondent about humanity and its seemingly never-ending love of ignorance. People have stopped asking "Why" when told something - assuming they ever really did - and we just take what we're given. Modern punditry is either merely preaching to the choir or it's cheap screwheads who do little more than print what they're paid to say (whether they realize it or not). We don't want the truth, whatever the hell that is; we want verification. We want validation. We want to be told We're right and They're wrong, because all that really matters is that We beat Them.

Thompson never did that. Thompson wanted to know why. He wanted to understand the truth. He didn't take "Just because" for an answer, whether it came from Richard Nixon, Sonny Barger or Ken Kesey. He didn't do it from some noble impulse or a need to better the world. He did it because whatever they said wasn't good enough. The bastards could run but he didn't let them hide. We shouldn't either.

Mourn Hunter S. Thompson, but remember what he did and why he was important.

Well...Shit...

2005-02-20T23:25:00.000-06:00

Hunter Thompson shot himself. I really don't know what to say, frankly. He’s a major influence on my own writing and, to be honest, outlook on life. Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas is beyond description for me. I re-read it at least once every six weeks. I've read The Great Shark Hunt cover-to-cover four times. I even like Where The Buffalo Roam.

I hope he knew what he was doing. I imagine he did. Ambrose Bierce did. Ernest Hemmingway did. F. Scott Fitzgerald probably did. H. L. Menken probably would've if he could've. I won't shame a man who takes his own life if he knows what he's doing. I've been down that road myself, so I don't know if I got the right. I do hate it for his family, and that's a pain that shouldn't be visited on nobody. I also know the good Doctor was a man who truly lived life, someone who stomped on the terra. I doubt there's a man with many regrets.

Accident? Maybe. The man loved his guns and he loved his booze, so it's probably something of a wonder the combination never got fatal. Suicide? Maybe. Why? Who knows. Maybe it was a fatal disease. I hope to hell it wasn't over the election, and I really can't see that. Just doesn't fit, really. He knew the game was going to get ugly either way. Maybe it was just time to go. Pay the ticket, take the ride.

Who knows. I'm still trying to process it, frankly. Death is a strange creature, and it's beyond me how we deal with it. Mostly we don't, I guess, which is why it always comes as such a shock. People die everyday, all over the world, and we don't think about. Someone we know - be it a celebrity or a friend - and suddenly it seems real for the first time. And suicide's particularly personal for me. I understand the thought process, and I hope any person who ever reads these words never understand the thought process to suicide.

So, yeah...shit. Life goes on, a star goes out and another one will born. Hunter was, at his best, a guy who wasn't afraid to ask "why" and take no bullshit for an answer. In this sad age, he was one of the last left that had sort of impact on popular culture as a whole. Pundits and critics don't do that anymore; the either preach to the choir or they say what they're paid to say (whether they're aware of it or not). It was by his own twisted sense of facts, logic and honor - if there's a better definition of "The Truth", I can't think of one off the top of my head - but he played the game by a set of rules that he thought was the best. He never insulted you. He never underestimated his readers. He was trying to get it all the make sense.

So, we ask why. We feel sympathy for his family. We feel the loss. We remind ourselves why this person was important in our life and why their contribution was significant. Life rolls on.

No Word Yet If The Army's Hiring DJ's

2005-02-19T03:54:00.000-06:00

There are just some things one cannot make up. One of 'em's this. Apparently, the U.S. military has been given the go-ahead from the FDA - which once again shows us they don't care what drugs you're hooked on so much as who's getting the money - for tests determining whether or not soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder will improve with MDMA, the active ingredient in that dance-club favorite ecstasy.

I am, again, not making this up. What it boils down is psychiatrists treating folks with severe emotional damage, like one would find it what we used to call "shell shock", might open up a bit more and talk about their experiences and feelings. The actual trials began a year before with victims of rape and sexual abuse, generally areas where treatment is resistant. Trial leader Michael Mithoefer says it's too early to draw any conclusions, but "so far the results are encouraging".

Huh. Well, ain't that a helluva note? Personally, I don't like ecstasy. Not only does it put my mouth in gear big-time - and considering how much I talk sober, that's a dangerous thing - I don't feel that comfortable feeling that good for no reason than a drug. Plus, I don't really care for the people you do ecstasy with when you do it. The music's tedious to my ears and the whole touchy-feely thing that kicks into high gear on that mess gets on my nerves. And trust me on this, doing X by yourself is a really bad idea. I shan't elaborate.

A couple of things come to mind regarding this story. First, of course, it strikes me as amusing that the United States government spends so much time and money on anti-drug propaganda, not to mentioned trampling Constitutional rights in the process, and then they turn around and give soldiers a drug that even enthusiastic users know is a bit dangerous. Secondly, as much as I dislike it, ecstasy makes one feel really, really good, and as Scooter Blue notes, how do you convince 'em to kill again once you've squeegeed the third eye?

And finally - and I know this one's a bit of a pipe dream - wouldn't it make sense if humanity made a bigger effort to stop putting folks in such scenarios? I mean, call me a dreamer, if politicians were really concerned about how war affected soldiers, they wouldn't be so anxious to whistle up the dogs, now would they.

Might Improve Tipping, I Dunno...

2005-02-18T16:08:00.000-06:00

My buddy Dodd Ferrelle has this thing about Wyatt Earp. He reads books about the famous lawman, watches movies about Earp, and generally learns all he can about Wyatt, the Earp brothers, Doc Holliday, the Clantons and whole shebang. Which is cool, as everyone has their obsessions, and hell, my heroes have always been cowboys, too.

What a lot of people forget, however, is Earp was mostly famous - apart from the whole O.K. Corral thing - for being kind of a vicious mother and a gambler. Beyond that, his to-do in Tombstone had less to do with his own skills as a gunslinger - apparently he wasn't much of one - but that he flat-out refused to allow guns in his town. The trouble with the Clanton-McLaury gang was over some other shit, but the gun thing was the catalyst. With that in mind, I wonder what Wyatt - not to mention Dodd - would think of this. Long and short of it is that some folks within the Arizona legislators - backed by, surprisingly enough, the N.R.A. - want to rewrite current state law so that it'd be "a requirement that a bar or restaurant owner must post a sign specifically prohibiting firearms". Otherwise, the thinking (if it can be called that) goes, guns would be presumably welcome in such establishments.

And, of course, folks are going a bit silly. Visions of liquored-up nitwits slinging hot led when the argument over who’s a better quarterback/race car driver/candidate/country singer escalates past the “loud voice” stage can’t help but dance through anyone’s mind. Sure, it's a possibility, but it's a possibility that completely ignores any sort of common sense, really. Think about it for a minute; is it really logical to think that the companies that insure bars and restaurants would be groovy with the idea of gun totin' patrons? Furthermore, is it really logical to think that owners of said joints would be willing to pay the exorbitant insurance fees that not putting up a sign would most likely require, much less dig on the idea of giving booze to folks who, as a generalization, have serious penis-size issues? I’m not saying some folks wouldn’t slap leather to defend the honor of Dale Jarrett - I know some who would - but you really don’t want this sort of clientele patronizing your establishment as a general rule.

Arizona has fairly liberal gun laws, more or less, and to the complete amazement of both sides of that particular boondoggle, it's neither a peaceful haven devoid of crime or a complete battleground. They've also got some common sense about the issue, home as it is of John McCain and his efforts to close the "gun show loophole", as well as efforts by former Senator Dennis DeConcini to pass a federal ban on assault weapons.

My own personal views on guns are fairly simple. I got nothing against folks owning but I, personally, got absolutely no use for them. I used to hunt, so I own several shotguns and rifles, but they're all at my folks' place as I no longer have any use for hunting. Never had a use for pistols for that reason, too - no serious hunter uses a pistol extensively or solely - and because my Old Man always sorta sneered at pistols. As for the idea of "defending myself", well, I'm not sure I could end the life of another human being just to preserve my own. I'm not sure I got that right, and as for defending my property... well, it's just stuff. I love my bass guitar, but I can always replace it. It ain't worth another man's life. Maybe a Rickenbacker, but that's neither here nor there.

And for what it's worth, I dunno if I buy the whole idea of an armed society being a polite society. America's armed to the damn teeth, bubba, and we're by no means polite. Furthermore, all the gun control laws in the universe ain't worth a hill of beans if they ain't enforced, which they barely are. And anyway, America's problem isn't guns so much as it's a deep-set national sense of fear and loathing. The flipside of that is, of course, the whole idea that guns some mean security. They don't. They mean power, pure and simple. Power over life, and that's the most attractive power of them all. Being creatures of absolutely no power whatsoever, brothers and sisters - politically or otherwise, and you know it’s true - human beings have the tendency to latch onto whatever piece of power they can get, no matter how tiny or insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I also don't quite buy the idea that citizen ownership of guns somehow keeps the government in check or, for that matter, ensures the safety inherent in the Constitution. If the wars on terror and drugs have accomplished anything, they've shown us just how easily Americans will give up their rights for even the appearance of safety. With apologies to Woody Guthrie, the fountain pen beats the pistol any day of the week. Besides, if the government ever does decide to clamp down on us, Orwell-style, they'll have not only the military and law enforcement on its side, but a distressingly large number of our fellow citizens who'll think a fascist state is fine and dandy as long as it's in their favor. Or what they believe "their favor" is, whether it truly is or not, anyway.

Still, I gotta wonder just who this law's for, who's it gonna benefit? I mean, it's silly to think restaurant and bar owners will allow guns in their joints even if the insurance companies don't charge 'em an arm and a leg for such a privilege. And how does it help out them that are in favor of the Second Amendment? Bill passes and your favorite bar puts up a sign, you still can't pack heat. Simple as that. It's got a good chance of passing, too, apparently, so maybe there's a little-known but incredibly powerful sign-makers lobby that's really pulling all the strings from behind the scene. That's about all that makes sense in this to me.

Long story short, I really don't see how this is an intelligent piece of legislation, much less a meaningful one. My old pappy always told me, "Don't go causin' yourself trouble, because life is tough enough as it is." I would ask if state legislatures didn't have more important things to worry about, but seeing as how I live in Georgia, I know better than to waste my time.

Thanks for Atrios regular GWPDA for the heads-up.

Well, At Least It'll Be An Entertaining Election...

2005-02-17T13:31:00.000-06:00

Well, this was to be expected. Former Christian Coalition leader, GOP gunslinger and all-around dick weed Ralph Reed announced plans today to seek the Lt. Governor's seat in 2006. Oh, joy. I'm serious, beloved; I live for shit like this.

And in other Peach State news, Georgia Power is seeking another rate increase less than two months after the state Public Service Commission let the company raise their already re-goddamn-diculous rates. GP plans to slap down a request for a $550 million-a-year increase over the next two years to offset fuel costs. The increase - the largest of its kind, like, ever according to Georgia Power officials - would raise the average residential customer's monthly bill from $81 to something like close to $90, an increase of 9.8 percent. Ahh, the joys of deregulation...and not being to afford to run your goddamn air conditioner in hundred-degree weather.

Maybe He Ran Out Of Scotch...

2005-02-17T12:44:00.000-06:00

When Christopher Hitchens went apeshit a few years back, I did not wash my hands of the man, unlike many of my ideological counterparts. I've always thought the son of a bitch was a wordy, puffed-up bore with a petty mean streak. I'll admit, the man can write and he does the leg work, but he's also got a huge chip on his shoulder, a bigger ego and is way, way too in love with his admittedly sharp way with a phrase. Like the excruciating Modo, Hitch just pisses me off because he treats this wonderful opportunity - an open forum for one's thoughts and a pretty good chance said thoughts will be at least read - to constantly remind us "why" he deserves this honor. I'll give the devil his due, but I'll still think ol' Scratch is a shit ass if I want to, thank you very much.

Well, I said all that to say all this: when Hitch is on, he's on. This is a rather neat little Vanity Fair piece that pokes Hitch's Fieldsian proboscis into the, shall we say, oddities surrounding the 2004 Ohio vote. There's a lot of good stuff there and, frankly, a whole lot of unsettling facts and too-convenient coincidences. I won't go into great detail about the trouble with Ohio, as it's been repeated ad nausea since Election Night, but do check out Hitch's story. Good shit.

Now. One thing I really like about this little piece of true journalism by the Johnny Bond of punditry is because it's expressing a stroke I've been having for a long, long time: somethin' ain't right here. Now, I can go into long detail concerning the various logical inconsistencies we humans being find ourselves dealing with each and every day, but we'd be here for a spell. Hell, the less-than-consistent concept of reality, not to mention the silly idea that "words mean things", by the Bush malAdministration would give Wittgenstein fits. I'm just gonna focus on the specifics of Hitch's article.

To wit: there was some very obvious monkeyshines going on in Ohio, but the majority of the country and the sum total of the Corporate Media basically said "whatever". Fact of the situation is Bush is president, by hook or by crook, and we'll probably never know just what went wrong with Ohio's voting system, if anything indeed did, if it was purely dumb coincidence or something more sinister, or even what steps were taken to prevent such occurrences from happening again. Seriously. They're not even letting anyone look at the damn things to make sure everything was cool and froody. Dig:

But had there been a biased "setting" on the new machines it could be uncovered—if a few of them could be impounded. The Ohio courts are currently refusing all motions to put the state's voting machines, punch-card or touch-screen, in the public domain. It's not clear to me, or to anyone else, who is tending the machines in the meanwhile …

That, dear hearts, troubles me. What troubles me even more is the general run of the country didn't really care. Sure, some good souls did some mighty fine work in the weeks following the election, but far too many Democrats and other assorted liberals too easily beat the gong of partisanship, and way, way too many Republicans were just hoping everyone would shut up before the worm turned agin'm. And the Media had Scott Peterson to worry themselves about.

And none of that really means a hill of butterbeans, frankly. Look, folks, I know a whole lot of y'all what read my trifles are of a decidedly partisan bent and are quite happy being incredibly nasty to your ideological opposites, real or imagined. This, however, ain't a left or right issue, or one of party affiliation. Our elections don't mean a damn thing if this is allowed to continue. The very idea that the government itself, via the state courts, is refusing to allow the capital-P People - their employers lest we forget (and apparently we have) - to double-check those voting doo-dads is, to be a bit blunt, fucking disgusting.

We can argue about astoundingly unqualified "journalists" with incredibly silly back stories getting White House credentials and "left-wing" professors who have more in common with people called "self-absorbed assholes" than "liberal intellectuals" all we want to, and we're doing little more than pissing in the wind. We let these sons of bitches take away our ability to decided who's supposed to be "in charge", it ain't gonna mean shit. I'm sorely afraid we ain't gonna get over our bullshit and realize it until it's way, way too late. We make a big, huge deal about elections in Iraq - which managed to not quite turn out how the Bush malAdministration planned - when our own system is rapidly approaching being little more than a charming yet meaningless ceremony... like marriage, for example. I don't think any of us want that.

Maybe Americans Have Too Much Money...Some Americans, Anyway...

2005-02-13T16:42:00.000-06:00

Great leapin' horny toads, this is re-goddamn-diculous. Texas-based company Homeland Defense Vehicles is putting a truck - formerly used as a military vehicle, a la the ubiquitous Hummer - out on the market that's 10-feet tall, can drive through five feet of water, climb a 60-degree grade and tow six tons. Options include infrared cameras, a bulletproof cab and all mannerisms of electronic gee-gaws like a DVD player and a global-positioning system. The starting price for the stripped-down version is $225,000, but for $750,000, buyers can get doo-dads that detect ad block fallout from nuclear, biological and chemical weapons.

Now. Of course, the first question one must ask is there a male on this planet who's penis is so tiny - physically or spiritually - that they need this vehicle? The CEO of the company marketing the truck, Daniel Ayers, said possible markets could be with CEO's and sportsmen who need to travel through "unfriendly areas". Sure, I can see that. That trip to the country club is getting to be a booger.

But the very best part of this whole to-do is the truck's name. It's being called - wait for it - the "Bad Boy Heavy Muscle Truck". And that, dear hearts, says it all, I think. On that same note, International Harvester is apparently marketing a miniature-sized semi for around $95,000, which actually, I think is pretty cool. Not cool enough to actually buy one, mind you, but I have to admit I've always been a fan of 18-wheelers. And, of course, nothing in the above link mentions what kind of gas mileage the Bad Boy gets, which they should take into account. It seems the number one complaint amongst new Hummer drivers is how crappy the gas mileage is. Well, hell...that's a small price to pay to prove you have a large penis, I think.

In other news concerning out-of-control consumerism, Los Angeles-based genetic engineering firm Allerca is taking orders for a specially modified cat that wouldn't affect people with allergies. The critter will be available by 2007, they say, and cost around $3,500. There are also plans to make a Frankenkitty that would retain the size and playfulness of a kitten, which I have to admit, I'm a bit divided on. I don't like cats, but then again, I have no use for pets in general. However, everyone loves kittens. But the idea of a Peter Pan of the feline world via genetic monkeying is just goddamn creepy for some reason. I know we've been breeding dogs for specific uses for centuries, but that's a long, arduous process that has useful applications. These cats are being called "Lifestyle pets", in other words, pets to fit human need. The company's already got a zebra fish implanted with a fluorescent sea anemone - marketed as the GloFish - for sale.

Like I said, I never did the pet thing. We had a bunch of dogs growing up, but they were mostly hunting dogs like running walkers and beagles. They had a use (well, sort of). I'm not an animal lover, frankly, and I never could quite grasp the mentality of pet owners. Part of it is I recognize I can barely take care of myself, much less a pet. Now, don't get me wrong. I take no truck with animal cruelty. For me, all nature's creatures have one job and one job only: be yummy. Them that ain't are, in my opinion, more than free to do whatever they please. I won't bother them if they don't bother me. But hey, some people dig pets, and whatever's whatever. Still and all, genetically modifying critters just so they'll be easier to deal with seems to be defeating the purpose of owning and loving a pet.

Ah, well. Brave new world and all, I suppose.

The Most Accurate News Headline I've Ever Seen

2005-02-11T19:57:00.000-06:00

There are several reasons I really don't worry about getting into any sort of romantic relationship. Admitedly, this really isn't one of them, but it certainly gives pause. Long story short, dumped girlfriend demands sex. Former boyfriend refuses. Jilted girlfriend rips boyfriend's left testicle off with her bare hand and puts it in her mouth. Now, I've dated several women who were crazier than shit-house rats, but this a bit extreme. Well, Valentine's is just around the corner and love is indeed in the air. Or, I suppose, the mouth.

Oh, and the story about the baby thrown out of a moving car? Bullshit, but that doesn't keep the media from spending a massive amount of time on it. I mean, it's not like anything important is going on in this country, you know, nothing that'll serious affect people's lives.

Rock & Roll Ain't Pretty...

2005-02-07T17:02:00.000-06:00

This is pretty entertaining, a listing of some of the worst album covers in music. There's plenty of bad ones for your approval, though they somehow miss the most famous bad album cover of them all. Oh, well, and in any event, it's a perfect companion site to the most excellent Daily Douchebag. I will say, however, that odd cover aside, Swamp Dogg's Rat On is an awesome record and the man known by his momma as Jerry Williams is a criminally underrated R&B rocker. Go track down some of his stuff, particularly if you're into Sly Stone or P-Funk. Musically, he's a bit more laid-back than Sly or Uncle Jam, but his lyrics are way out there and he pulls no punches. Consider it a total destruction of your mind, Jeremy.

Despite It All, It Remains A Big Ol' Goofy World

2005-02-03T13:34:00.000-06:00

Just in case you were taking the universe too seriously, the universe reminds you not to, even during a war. Long story short, a group calling itself the Al Mujahedeen Brigade is claiming to hold a U.S. soldier named John Adam hostage. They are, of course, threatening to behead him if American forces don’t release Iraqi prisoners. Not a new story (unfortunately), right?

Well, the hitch in the git-along is that the picture the group posted is of a toy. I'm not kidding. It's an action figure made for the U.S. military named - and for some reason, this cracks me up - "Special Forces Cody". I have no idea why that makes me giggle but it does. Words fail me, quite honestly, so I'll leave you to enjoy the grand goofiness that is life in this cosmos. I will say, though, that despite all the horror and tragedy and confusion that comes out of a bloody, wasteful war, I take comfort in knowing there's still goofy shit going on despite it all.

Course, there's other news. The State Of The Union speech went down last night, but I didn't watch it, so I can't really say much about it. Other folks did, though, and it was the same "babies need to eat" speech we always hear with, as Zepp points out, the usual Bush inability to connect with reality. Apparently, The Little King got booed when he went into what we'll call "detail" about his plan to completely wreck Social Security, and the Irrational Bush Worshippers are all a-twitter over the indignity. I say "tough titty". In Taiwan, the parliament apparently devolves into fistfights, so Lil' Georgie can stand a few people not liking him. And already we're apparently learning some of the pre-packaged heart-string pullers aren't on the up and up. If you read that and find yourself dismayed, you only have yourself to blame.

Ah, well...for those who are interested in such things, today's the day the music died. I'll have to admit, I've never been a huge fan of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens or The Big Bopper, but we'll raise a pipe nevertheless in memory and for the man who gave Waylon Jennings his first big break. Because I dearly love Waylon Jennings' music. Story goes that when Buddy learned Waylon wasn't going to fly, he said, "Well, I hope your old bus freezes". Waymore came back with, "Well, I hope your old plane crashes". Ain't that a helluva note.

And if you got a few minutes to spare, go read what this guy has to say. He's heard a whole lot. You've heard it, too, so has the entire country. Unfortunately, 51 percent decided to ignore it.

Gettin' Into Kolchak Territory Here...

2005-01-31T17:16:00.000-06:00

By now, I'm sure most folks have seen this. For those that haven't, it's roughly a chronology of deaths of a number of scientists who were, at some point or another, heavily involved in a variety of potentially nasty shit. There's folks involved in genetic manipulation, anthrax study and bioweapons, as well as people working in fields related to treating diseases and fighting epidemics. And they're all dead, a great number by rather violent means. It's pretty interesting.

Course, it could be all bullshit, too, but one wonders. I'm a skeptic by nature, so my first impulse is to lump it into the pile with the "Clinton body count" or the "mysteries" surrounded deaths "connected" to the opening of King Tut's tomb. On the other hand, I know how much our government has flat-out lied to us over the years, from the Gulf Of Tonkin to the complete and total lack of Weapons of Mass Destruction that apparently weren't in Iraq. So...meaningless if disturbing tricks of fate or insidious multi-national conspiracy by the New World Order? Who knows, but it's nevertheless interesting. It may just turn out to be an urban legend or it may be a genuine conspiracy. It never hurts to remember the words of the wise possum, beloved.

Personally, I'm withholding judgment until I get some more info. Anyone who has it and can back it up, feel free to send it in. We'll see which dog'll hunt and which one won't.

Nice To Know Georgia Ain't The Only Place Where Politicians Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

2005-01-28T20:19:00.000-06:00

Ye gods, this is re-goddamn-diculous. For those who haven't heard, Margaret Spellings, who recently took over the spot as U.S. Secretary Of Education from Rod "Teachers Equal Terrorists" - has upbraided PBS over a kids' show. Seems Ms. Spelling's all a twitter over "Postcards From Buster", which features a cartoon bunny who travels across the country and visits different places to highlight diversity. Now, remember that, because it's important. In his travels, Buster has interviewed cloggers, rodeo barrel racers and American Indian dancers. He's also visited a number of families where religion played a strong role, including Mormons, Orthodox Jews and Pentecostal Christians, and it seems the show is fairly non-judgmental. Just curious about other people and how they think and live. You know, kinda like what we tells kids is the right way to act.

Now, the thing that's twisting Spellings' britches was a show that had Buster - a cartoon rabbit with asthma, mind - going to Vermont to see how maple syrup and cheese are made. Of course, Buster interviews all the children of the two families involved in said production. Turns out one of 'em has two mommies, and we all know what that means. Twenty-four-seven hot girl-girl lovin', apparently with syrup, right? I mean, we all know that all gay people do is have sex, right? I mean, none of 'em go to work, pay taxes or watching "American Idol" like every other dingaling in this country, come now. Anyhow, Spellings feels that "many parents would not want their young children exposed to the life-styles portrayed in this episode", though she somehow fails to cite a source for such info.

Frankly, I agree with her. God knows we don't need anymore of our innocent children falling prey to the allure that is the production and consumption of maple syrup. All that decadent sweetness and stickiness, why, it'd warp their little minds. God alone knows how much Spellings has dolloped on her flapjacks if this is her first big salvo as Education Secretary. As Earl Hadley points out, she's got a whole lot more to worry about.

I honestly cannot figure out why wingnuts have such a horrid fear of their kids seeing homosexuals doing normal, average, everyday things. Well, that's not true, really; I know why. Kids are smart, especially the younger ones, and if you show 'em off the bat that gay folks are just plain folks rather than rampant lascivious lust monkeys constantly on the make for new, innocent prey to recruit for the All-Powerful Gay Agenda...well, maybe the kids might not hate the gay folks like, apparently, mommy and daddy do. Wouldn't that be a helluva note...

Guess Genital Piercing's No Longer Hip With Legislators

2005-01-28T17:21:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official. The Georgia State Legislature has absolutel nothing better to do with its time. The crux of the story centers on a certain Republican representative from the fine hamlet of Cleveland, Georgia, one Ben Bridges. Yesterday, Rep. Bridges introduced legislation designed to prevent the theory of evolution from being taught in the state's classrooms, instead insisting that only "scientific fact" be taught. He doesn't quite explain what a "scientific fact" is, mind you, but he pretty much says evolution is out. A word from the Honorable Gentleman from Cleveland:

"It's in the book that it's a theory, but these teachers teach it like it's a fact. Let's teach them the truth or don't teach them anything."

Rep. Bridges also says he was taught evolution as a boy at school and the birth of Jesus on Sundays and, I quote, "it confused [him]". Okay, first things first. Rep. Bridges is 64, so there's no way he was taught evolution in high school, okay? Not in Georgia, anyway, and he shouldn't punish Georgia students because he can't separate his faith from science.

Now, before we get down to the real nitty gritty, I must make a confession: I am not a biologist. In fact, while I'm a great fan of science, truth be told, a great deal of the nuts and bolts in the various fields eludes me. I’m fascinated with string theory, for example, but I have absolutely no idea how it works. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoy reading about physics and evolution and geology and astronomy, then getting extremely stoned and thinking about it. It’s a marvelous way to relax, and I highly recommend it to anyone.

However, I apparently got one up on Rep. Bridges. Yes, evolution is "just a theory" and not a "fact", but then again, so's gravity. The word theory does have many definitions, one being - according to my Funk & Wagnalls - "a speculative or conjectural view of something", which sorta-kinda follows along with what Rep. Bridges is claiming. However, that's not the same thing as a "scientific theory", a model or framework for understanding. In other words, scientists see something happen, measure it and try to explain why. It's a paradigm established to explain the data scientists collect and offers predictions for testing. If those predications fail the tests, then the theory is adjusted or eventually abandoned. To help Rep. Bridges out a bit, a "fact" in science is an observation that has been repeatedly confirmed. It's considered "true" because it keeps happening according to what we've already observed, but even then, scientists know that nothing in science is final, not even the "truth".

Scientists don't screw around. Anyone tampering with Nature's domain worth his or her lab coat wouldn't just throw a theory out for general consumption without testing the bejeezus out of it. And, though it's been adjusted, refined and vigorously debated a great deal since Darwin published Origin Of The Species in 1859, evolution has held up pretty well where others haven't. For example, Lamarckism - which says that traits acquired during the lifetime of an organism can be passed on to the offspring has been cast aside, but the overall the theory of evolution has held up pretty well. In short, scientists have noticed change in life on this planet over the centuries and something's causing that change. Biologists apparently don't agree on much, and there's plenty of very specific arguments concerning how evolution works, but they all agree that the very core concept is very, very solid. Natural selection, it seems, works just fine. It doesn't mean that mankind is the pinnacle of evolution - which used to give Stephen J. Gould the shiverin' fits - nor, really, does it say we come from monkeys.

What's more, it doesn't - necessarily - mean there's no sort of creator force. Put simply, evolution has absolutely nothing to do with God. Nothing at all. End of story. Evolution doesn't even address it. If anything, all it does is say the planet’s much older than us and the whole “created in six days” was probably just a really nice story.

What it does do, however, is let us know that we human beings ain't exactly the most important thing in the universe. We're not by a long shot. As the late Prof. Gould was fond of stating, this is still a bacterial world and we just live in it. This, I think, is the problem for the creationist crowd. They simply can't handle the idea that they ain't what it's all about.

And the funny thing to me, this really isn't a problem with Christianity or even the majority of socially conservative Christians. Hell, even the Pope has stated that evolution is groovy with the Catholic Church and he’s definitely no secular humanist. Perhaps they were still stinging from the whole thing with Galileo, who knows. Regardless, science and spirituality are two different things, and while both can be used to augment and support the other, they are two different things.

Nevertheless, there's a certain segment of people - including a large number of Americans, sadly - who seem like they're threatened by the idea of evolution because, as I said, it knocks humans off the pedestal we put ourselves upon. Just as both "sanctity of life" or "sanctity of marriage" are complete figments of the human imagination, we think we're the most important creatures on the planet because we're the ones deciding we are. We're writing the story of history, in other words, so naturally it's all about us.

In short, it ain't. One of the neat things about the reading I've done into quantum physics, evolutionary biology and, yes, the metaphysical world is I've basically come to the realization that humans are just one small part of a greater whole. When it comes to the development of life on Earth, it's a great, sprawling tree, and mankind is merely a little twig recently grown of one rather minor branch. For cryin' out loud, sharks and alligators and catfish have been around longer than us. Musically speaking, we're just the latest squeak of a very short note in a very, very long symphony.

The thing that's always stuck in my craw concerning creationism or the new-and-improve brand of "intelligent design" is that the proponents thereof really don't follow scientific method with their claims. In other words, they really don't try to present evidence and calculations that can verifiably tested in a scientific setting. One of the main problems is that a theory must be based on a naturally occurring phenomenon that can be explained and predicted. Oddly enough, none of the creationist people seem to keen on trying to prove God's existence scientifically or explain it beyond "Cause God said so". That, dear hearts, won't cut it in the laboratory.

And that's where Rep. Bridges comes in. Now that I've thought on it some, I come to the realization that the Honorable Gentleman is just confused, that's all. There's other, more important stuff for a legislator to be worrying about - especially when it comes to the state of education in Georgia, believe you me - but this whole difference between the common usage of "theory" and how scientists define "theory" is just hanging him up. So, why don't we, being good Americans, help the poor boy out. His email address is bbridges@legis.state.ga.us. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Well, Glad We Got That Straightened Out...

2005-01-26T15:09:00.000-06:00

In an amazing display of leadership and steely-eyed fortitude, The Little King told his cabinet secretaries to quit paying media commentators to advance his legislative agenda. Truly, this man is a man amongst men. Bold, decisive, take charge...these words don't even begin to describe George W. Bush, not by a longshot.

I know what you're thinking. "Matt," you say, "how can such dastardly deeds occur under the steely-eyed gaze of such a determined, hands-on and, yes, manly leader of such honor and dignity?" Well, there's a good reason for that, and only the words of the man himself could adequately express how such devilment occurred:

"We didn't know about this in the White House."

Now how can you argue with such biting logic, such overwhelming concern for the ship of state? Glad to know St. Ronald's legacy indeed lives within George W. Bush.

And the Thot Plickens...

2005-01-26T13:51:00.000-06:00

Okay, so there's this big hubbub in the blogging world about fourth-string conservative columnist Armstrong Williams taking bread from the Bush Administration, specifically the Department Of Education, for promoting The Little King's "No Child Left Behind". Now, apparently, it's not illegal for someone who calls himself a "journalist" to take money from the government to do PR work - which, for some reason, gives me the screaming heebie jeebies - it's just illegal to fail to disclose it. Which is what Williams did, to the tune of $240,000. Of course, the right-wing side of the blogosphere says that Daily Kos's consultant work with the Dean campaign is the exact same thing, but it isn't. Not really, and I'm not wading into it, personally. Frankly, if you can't see how a blogger disclosing money from a private group is different from a self-described journalist hiding tax-payer dollars he got to push a government's plan, well, then you're the type who honestly believes Iraq is going great and Social Security will implode any day now. In other words, we can discuss it, but we're not gonna get anywhere.

It also seems Weekly Standard editor William Kristol and conservative dingaling Charles Krauthammer wrote long, glowing love poems about Bush's second inaugural address, but somehow managed to forget to tell folks that they had a big hand in writing said speech. That's interesting, isn't it.

And it gets even better. Suburban bore Maggie Gallagher was paid $21,500, it seems, to promote Bush's $300 million initiative to strengthen families - though I never really figured how you could spend money to strengthen what's basically an ideal - but failed to tell anybody. Like Williams, Maggie was defiant at first, boldly proclaiming "Did I violate journalistic ethics by not disclosing it? I don't know. You tell me." She would have happily told someone about the governmental booty, she claims, but no one ever asked her and said it never occurred to her. I know how she feels. No one asks me much and there's a whole lot of stuff that never occurs to me. Usually stuff like “Hey, maybe you ought to make your car payment rather than buying that Faces boxet,” but I usually ignore those little voices. Apparently, Maggie May does, too.

Alas, our brave girl was broken by the insidious liberal media and posted a column with United Press Syndicate (maybe you should tell them what you think of this situation) with a bit more humility, lamenting:

"I should have disclosed a government contract when I later wrote about the Bush marriage initiative. I would have, if I had remembered it. My apologies to my readers."

It's okay, Maggie, I'm sure all four of them will forgive you. Story goes Gallagher received the bread after writing a report titled "Can Government Save Marriage" for a private organization called - and I'm not making this up - the National Fatherhood Initiative. The report was funded by a Justice Department grant, and Gallagher was "aware vaguely" that her work was federally funded. Way to put those crack journalists skills to work, sister.

Anyhow, Gallagher's spent the last two years - and before hand, as she's written three books on marriage - going on and on about how wonderful marriage was, except for gay marriage, natch, and how much everyone should be forced to pretend like it was the '50s all over again. Apparently, she's really big on people getting hooked up and doesn't even want to think about people who don't see marriage or commitment the same way. Gives her the vapors, I reckon. Insulted has a pretty good listing of nonsense by Ms. Gallagher, so go check out their stuff.

Me, I find her boring. She’s just another dull-ass white person who wants everyone to be as dull as them so nothing challenges them, and this whole “we all gotta have traditional marriages” hoohah is incredibly tedious. One day I’ll go into my views on the institution of marriage, but this ain’t the time. I find this slow trickle of conservative pundits being outed as on the take or in the pockets of the government as... interesting. And, frankly, a bit worrisome. The media is supposed to an adversary to the government and journalists are supposed to go after politicians, not be their friends and agents. It's unsettling to me, and especially unsettling that so many people who support the part of "getting government off our backs" are taking so much graft from said government.

And besides...Maggie, darlin', listen to your friend, here. You get paid to express your opinion and newspapers all over the country carry it. You don't even have to be overly factual, frankly, just willing to stir up some shit. And you are, talking about "the conservative tsunami" and rail about how, even though you've got said tsunami, conservatives are still held under the oppressive thumb of the Liberal Agenda, oooo scary! Shit, Mags...you don't even have to make sense. And you got a niche! Defending marriage! Because, you know, people aren't getting married anymore. You're like Bill O'Reilly and his glorious crusade to remind folks of this holiday that used to be a big deal or something. I forget the name, it's so underground and oppressed, but I remember it was in December and featured some dude with a beard and long hair. Maybe it was Willie Nelson day, I dunno. My point is, you didn't need to take the government's money or compromise your ethics, you silly woman.

Anyhow, another conservative "pundit" has been caught on the government dole. Insulted has more. Me, I just wonder when someone big is gonna be busted. It's bound to happen, ya know. My money's on O'Reilly. That bastard's about to blow a series of gaskets, he's wound so tight these days. "Defender of Christmas" indeed...

Just A Modicum Of Nastiness On A Lovely January Day...

2005-01-26T13:17:00.000-06:00

Man, is it nice today. It's just under 70 or so, the sun is shining and the wind's still. After years of living in various hothouse climates - Northeast Mississippi and Central Florida, two swamps, basically - I gotta say, I love weather like this. I can wear one of my flannel shirts or just a t-shirt, and either way, I'm gravy. Even better, I got the next two days off from work, not a thing in the world to do and the house to myself, as my brother's currently driving to Martha's Vineyard with his employer, the most excellent David Barbe, to pick up a console for Dave's studio, Chase Park Transduction. And best of all, the dope fairy visited me last night, so I'm all set.

If I were an active sort, I'd be out enjoying this beautiful day. At the very least, I should be working on my bass guitar licks or doing some serious non-blogging-type writing. Instead, I give you this: The Buffalo Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004. I gotta say, it's pretty much on the money. If it isn't reprehensible windbags like Michael Savage or Ann Coulter, the Beast - an alt-weekly out of New York that calls itself "Buffalo's best friend" and seems to be pretty damn nasty all the way around - goes after corrupt politicians like Condi Rice or John Negroponte. Both presidential candidates get their due, whether it's Kerry's timidity or Bush's complete lack of ability or decency. And humorously enough - to me, anyway - "liberal Hollywood" gets its fair share of licks, including Ellen Degeneres, Tom Cruise and Jerry Bruckheimer. Plus, there's a fair share of people who are celebrities for no other reason than they insist on embarrassing themselves in public, like that Nicole chick that's basically famous for being Paris Hilton's wingman.

My personal favorite is Number Three:

3. You

Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You can’t stop buying useless crap, though you’re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think, you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault.

Smoking Gun: You’re fat.

Punishment: You’re soaking in it.

If I have any quibble with said entry, though, it's that "you" really should be changed to "we". Problem with pointing fingers, of course, is that no one looks at the person who's doing the pointing and we, as a nation, definitely deserve a sound talking to concerning the lovely state of the union. Anyhow, check it out. Very amusing. However, I must admit I think compiling such a list and including Michael Jackson is something akin to shooting tranquilized fish in a coffee cup.

Well, You Can't Say You Didn't See This Coming

2005-01-25T13:33:00.000-06:00

I have to admit, the fact that The Little King has seemingly pulled back from the intensely conservative stance on social issues that - let's face it, the only other fact was Fear Of The Moslem - got him elected comes as something of a relief. He hasn't said he's changed his mind on, say, gay marriage or abortion, of course, but he also isn't thumping the table over them.

This, of course, is making some people unhappy. Long story short, a coalition of major conservative "Christian" groups called the Arlington Group is letting the malAdministration know they're not happy by threatening to pull support for Bush's Social Security keno game unless he does something about them dratted gay folks getting all married and suchlike. The group sent a confidential letter to "Super Genius" Karl Rove expressing their disapproval with how Bush isn't putting social issues to the forefront of his new term in office. The president, they say, should remember who brung him to the dance. You money quote:

"We couldn't help but notice the contrast between how the president is approaching the difficult issue of Social Security privatization where the public is deeply divided and the marriage issue where public opinion is overwhelmingly on his side," the letter said. "Is he prepared to spend significant political capital on privatization but reluctant to devote the same energy to preserving traditional marriage? If so it would create outrage with countless voters who stood with him just a few weeks ago, including an unprecedented number of African-Americans, Latinos and Catholics who broke with tradition and supported the president solely because of this issue."

The letter continued, "When the administration adopts a defeatist attitude on an issue that is at the top of our agenda, it becomes impossible for us to unite our movement on an issue such as Social Security privatization where there are already deep misgivings."

So, here we have two scorned parties. One is a politician who stirred up a bunch of hate-filled whackjobs just to score a few votes, and the other is a bunch of whackjobs who really thought a politician as slippery and two-faced as Bush would do what he said he'd do. I mean, seriously, are people this naive? Apparently so, as Bush told the pro-"life" crowd to keep hope alive, even though he’s said he isn’t gonna monkey much with Roe vs. Wade. It's almost charming.

Lookahere, brothers and sisters, cause I'm about to lay the gris-gris on you. Gay marriage is happening. Maybe not soon, but it'll happen and when it does, we'll look at ourselves like as the same fools who got bent out of shape over blacks and whites having equal seating on the city bus (which means, of course, we'll pretend it was just a small, close-minded minority and the rest of us were always really behind it, oh, yes we were!). Abortion is here to stay, in some form or another, as well. Just making it illegal won't make it go away. All it'll mean is that girls who can't afford to "go spend the summer with her sister/maiden aunt" as they used to say will run the risk of serious injury when they do what they feel they have to do. No matter where you stand on the issue, if anyone really gave a damn about kids they'd do more to improve education and access to quality affordable (free, if possible, and I don't see why not) health care for all children, regardless of socio-economic status.

While we’re all a bit crazy for a second, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to work on real, concrete things to improve the quality of life for all Americans rather than bullshit, reactionary, fear-fueled balderdash about "moral values" from people who barely blink when the president asks for even more money to waste on a war that's going nowhere fast. Ah, I know. That’s just silly talk. Oh well.

Mommaw And Johnny

2005-01-23T17:27:00.000-06:00

My Johnny Carson story, if y'all will indulge...

I grew up around my mother's people, and my mother's people lived in a very rural part of Itawamba County, a very rural county in Northeast Mississippi, colloquially called Peaceful Valley. My grandparents - Mommaw and Poppaw Bean - were farmers, and even after the farm couldn't support their family and they had to get manufacturing jobs in Smithville, they kept farmers' hours. Up at dawn, in bed by 8 p.m., that sort of thing.

They did that, I guess, ever since they were married, fifty years or so. My grandfather had Alzheimer's disease, and for the last three or so years of his life, Poppaw was basically reduced to an infantile state. Being poor and, honestly, proud, Mommaw couldn't hire a full-time caretaker, and there was no way in hell we were putting them into a facility. They weren't leaving Peaceful Valley, and that's that. So Mommaw took care of Poppaw until he died in 1991 from three strokes in two days. Poppaw was, to the end, a tough old bastard.

So now, Mommaw basically had her life to herself, more or less. My Uncle Charles, who just turned 60, still lives with her, though, because he had polio as a child. The attack caused a high fever, leaving him not only a deformed hand, but the mentality of a 10-year-old boy as well. This was in the '40s in rural, pre-Tennessee Valley Authority Mississippi, remember, so simply put, there just wasn't the medical knowledge to prevent what would be a simple procedure these days. That's life, I suppose.

There's my Mommaw. She's in her late '70s - I'm horrible with ages, mind - and her husband's gone. This may sound cruel to some, but Poppaw's death, I think, was a relief for all of us and especially Mommaw. Not only did she have to give him constant care, but watching the patriarch - a man of incredible personal strength when he was younger and before the demon in the bottle got him - waste away just drags at your soul. But Mommaw's tough and, frankly, she adjusted. Her life's been a hard one, but because she knows life is hard for everyone, she goes through it with a smile. She knows what makes her happy - her family - and she gets what she needs out of that.

Anyhow, it's the early '90s and the family's re-adjusting to life without having to take care of Poppaw. We'd already adjusted to life without Poppaw, mind you, as best we could, anyway. About that time, I'd started to get fairly busy with the newspaper thing and there was many a night I'd come home from covering a basketball game or school board meeting in the wee hours. Well, it was usually close to midnight, anyway, and on Stump Jumper Standard Time, that's pretty damn late.

Just about every night, I'd drive by Mommaw's house and the light would be on in her living room. I guess I should explain one thing right quick: all of my mother's people live within a two-mile square radius of my grandmother's house. Seriously. My grandparents had five children. Uncle Charles, of course, couldn't have kids, but the rest sure did. And all of us were living with the ghosts of Beans and Sandlins and Sloans past.

In fact, no one ever really left. My mother went off to Delta State University and moved around with my father for a couple years - the Old Man grew up in Jackson and married Momma when she was a teacher in that area, by the by - but they came back. In fact, my parents live less than 200 yards from the houseplace where Momma was born. My Aunt Diane studied at Ole Miss, but she came back to and married a local boy. Uncle Joel, the oldest and first to pass on, wandered around Texas and Wisconsin for a few years, but he came back, too. Uncle David, the baby of the family and probably the one I take after most, finished high school and went straight to work in nearby Amory. Most of my cousins that are grown - Debbie, Josh, Jamie and Andy - still live there, raising their kids. There's a few of us that don't. Lacey - the baby of my group - works in Jackson, and her older sister Amy has three kids and lives in Jackson. And, of course, my brother and I are bohemian wastrels plying what we laughably call our trades here in good ol' Athens, Georgia.

I realize I'm drifting a bit here, but that's my family. The Beans. We've been in that part of Itawamba County since the 1840s. We're of primarily Scottish descent. We have our faults and failure just like everyone else, but we're basically decent people. We're not rednecks or white trash. We're country people, and if you're country, you'll always be country. It's not a limitation unless you let it be, mind you, but it's the very bedrock of your personality. It's not a white or black thing, either, or a male or female thing. Hell, it's not even a gay or straight thing. And frankly, we're no different from folks born in urban or suburban areas. It's just our particular flavoring, but I'll talk more on that at some future date.

Anyhow...it's early '90s, Poppaw's gone and Mommaw's staying up watching television. Came to find out that because of Poppaw's needs, she'd gotten used to keeping odd hours and, as it turns out, quite liked being up later hours. I imagine I get my night-owlish ways from her. She also thoroughly enjoyed "The Tonight Show" but had one minor problem. To this best of my recollection, here's her problem with the show:

I like that show a lot, but I like the older gentleman better than I like that boy. I just don't understand why he isn't on the show all the time

The "older gentleman" was Johnny Carson and "the boy" is Jay Leno. A year later, Carson retired and my grandmother quit watching "The Tonight Show". Mommaw's still kickin' around, by the way. Her mind's starting to drift a little bit, just like her mother's did before she passed away, and her health is increasingly shaky these days. As you can probably imagine, Uncle Charles has always been something of a handful, and he’s getting worse, as well, both health-wise and just shear irritant-wise. Still, she gets up every morning, deals with Uncle Charles, drives to Fulton once a week to sharp, baby sits her great-grandchildren when she's up to it, talks to Momma and Aunt Diane, and does just whatever she damn well pleases in the same calm, easy-going manner that's comforted and supported a family full of extremely forceful personalities for three generations, now. Mommaw's probably gonna pass away soon. She's old, let's face it, and country people just don't live long. The life wears you down and makes you old.

But when she dies, I don't exactly how I’ll grieve, if indeed I even will. She's lived a life and earned the rest, and I don't think she'd say she has any regrets. I think she'd like to see a book out of me, but that's about it. I'll miss her, though. I'll miss Johnny Carson, too, but that's part of what makes life worth living. You'll forevermore be meeting people that you might have to miss some day. And that, beloved, is a wonderful stroke.

Lord, Don't Let Gary P. Nunn See This...

2005-01-19T13:47:00.000-06:00

Dig the boots, y'all.

Now. I'll grant you, I've never given much thought to fashion, and my current wardrobe consists of one pair of tennis shoes, four pairs of blue jeans, two dozen concert t-shirts and 10 or so flannel shirts. I am a simple man, but then again, I'm not the leader of the free world, either. I gotta admit, I find it disturbing we have a president with such a predilection for playing dress-up.

And for what it's worth, I admit to being unnecessarily snarky about this, but really... the guy's too much. In the last couple of days, Bush (or his malAdministration) has announced they're giving up trying to find WMD's in Iraq and that the war is rapidly spinning out of what little control they had over affairs. Plus, Bush himself has admitted his tough-guy "bring it on" twaddle was probably a bad idea, and Republicans are jumping ship left and right concerning his Social Security hoodoo. It's just getting really, really hard for me to take George W. Bush seriously as a thinking adult, much less leader of the free world. Then there's the $40 million inaugural shindig that's "for the troops", but apparently that's compassionate conservative speak for "lip service".

"Manly footwear", indeed.

Frankly, I'm A Bit Surprised...Though I Shouldn't Be...

2005-01-18T11:47:00.000-06:00

I know it's hard keeping up with the various comings and goings of the Bush malAdministration, what with the Michael Jackson case firing up and Brad splitting with Jennifer. Therefore, Salon has provided us with this handy-dandy scandal sheet documenting 34 - count 'em, thirty-four - scandals from the first four years of George W. Bush's presidency. Most of 'em are in various stages of investigation and/or being swept under the rug - with a few odd fines and finger waving at Smilin' Tom DeLay scattered hither and you - and every single one of 'em is, arguably, worse than Whitewater (which turned out to be much ado about nothing, anyway).

What kills me is how far under the radar most of this stuff has gone. I mean, I never liked the guy that much, but we're still hearing about Clinton shenanigans. Some of the info concerning money diverted from Afghanistan to Iraq before the war started, or how Halliburton may've been doing business with Iran while Vice-President Dick Cheney was CEO ought to be on people's minds, seems to me. And apparently, Tom DeLay is so crooked he needs three aids to help him screw into his pants each morning. Therefore, what’s a slime ball like him doing being B.M.O.C. on Capitol Hill?

Of course, this is a Salon piece, so you have to either be a subscriber or suffer through the site's tedious "day pass" deal. Heads up came from Will Pitt's excellent FYI blog.

Living In The Promise Land?

2005-01-17T15:00:00.000-06:00

Today is the national observance of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's birthday. I don't have to go into detail on who King was or what he's remembered for, but what's always amused me is what King did that we don't remember or we're simply not told. And I'm not talking about his questionable personal life or the very real possibility he plagiarized some of his doctoral thesis and some of the material for his species.

Now, I don't think King was "a fraud and a hypocrite" exactly, but I do agree he was a complex man of enormous emotional power, charisma and oratory skill. By his words alone, King is quite possibly the last Real American Hero we've had. He did more than just talk, unlike our current "leaders". King marched with the people, spoke to them, listened to them and, above all, was down there in the trenches with them.

But, like I said, what's always gotten me about the current view of King is how it completely ignores his efforts outside the realm of race relations. The Civil Rights Act that stemmed from King's work in Selma, Albany and Birmingham happened in 1964. King was assassinated in 1968, and you basically hear about little in between. Sure, he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, but none of the articles or television shows will mention his speaking out against U.S. involvement in Vietnam. There might be something on how he kept Nichelle Nichols on Star Trek because he saw the "Uhura" character as a positive role model, but not the "Poor People's Campaign," which sought to address economic justice across racial lines. Lots of "I Have A Dream" but nothing from "Beyond Vietnam", which King delivered a year to the day before he was shot. Read John Sugg's excellent article linked above for more info on what we're not getting, but then again, American history seems to enjoy never giving people the full story.

I'd like to think things are, across the board, at least a little better than they were when Dr. King stomped the terra, and I guess they are. Course, being a straight white guy, I can say that and not blink. There's still a whole lot of problems that almost have less to do with the color of one's skin and more to do with fundamental flaws in society. I think that’s what Dr. King was working for and recognized racism isn’t the sole problem in and of itself, but a glaring example of the much larger problem. What's the "much larger problem"? Simple.

Fear.

You get a man good and worked up over how he's gonna feed and protect his kids, you can point him in just about any direction you want. Demagogues throughout history have used fear as a most effective tool. Dr. King saw through that. He saw a world where justice was given more due than mere lip service. He saw a world where it was the weight of a person's character that mattered, not skin color or economic standing. He saw a world where war was simply not necessary because problems were addressed before they escalated.

And, of course, we killed him. Then, we gave him a holiday and closed the banks, and we named streets after him in every town in the country. So there's no racism, obviously, and probably none of the other stuff King raised a ruckus about. Or so I've been told, anyway.

Hey, Great...People In Georgia Can Evolve!

2005-01-13T14:38:00.000-06:00

To spare the feelings of a fellow Itawambian currently fighting for truth, final wisdom and free lunch in Wisconsin, I'm gonna pick on my current state of residence for a bit. In a stunning display of truly cast-iron balls, U.S. District Judge Clarence Cooper ordered that the anti-evolution stickers fundie dingbats got slapped on Cobb County school books a few years back were unconstitutional and ordered them removed immediately. Here's what Judge Cooper said about said decals:

Adopted by the school board, funded by the money of taxpayers, and inserted by school personnel, the sticker conveys an impermissible message of endorsement and tells some citizens that they are political outsiders while telling others they are political insiders. [The stickers send] a message that the school board agrees with the beliefs of Christian fundamentalists and creationists. The school board has effectively improperly entangled itself with religion by appearing to take a position. Therefore, the sticker must be removed from all of the textbooks into which it has been placed.

Wow. Like I said, the man has balls. Not only is he cutting through the rhetoric to get at the heart of what the fundie dingbats really want, he's got the cajones to say it in the middle of Red-State Georgia. Now, granted, he might've phrased it better. The whole "separation of church and state" thing says the government is supposed to be neutral, and I'm not real sure how "neutral" that is. It's the truth, but the devil is definitely in the details.

Now, a little background on all this. This whole deal started back in 2002 when some creationist lady named Marjorie Rogers collected 2,300 signatures from supporters to ban the teaching of evolution. The school board decided to slap the stickers on the covers of 13 science books used in high school, with a disclaimer that read "This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered."

Consider, if you will, Cobb County, Georgia. Very rich, I mean Orange County rich, exurb of Atlanta and accordingly conservative. The Atlanta Centennial Olympic Committee excluded it for the anti-gay policies fostered by the Board of Commissioners. It's also a part of Newt Gingrich's old district, and ironically enough, received the most federal pork in the country when he took the reigns with the whole "Contract On America" thing. The latter prompted a hilarious bit on Michael Moore's old show "TV Nation" when he went there to get folks to give all that money back to "get government off their backs". Hilarious.

It was also heavily backed by Secretary of Education Kathy Cox, though one can't be surprised, given how little Sonny Perdue's administration seems to care about education. Not to digress, but that ole boy's pissed off everyone who got him into office - including the Klan Flaggers - and I'm figuring he'll be making a butt-first exit from the governor's mansion come 2005.

But anyhow... so, yeah, the judge called bullshit on the fundies and told 'em to drop the stickers. Six parents, believing the stickers violated the whole separation of church and state thing, brought up the lawsuit in question last November. The parents' attorney brought up several scientists - actual scientists, not creationists - to shoot wholes in one of the creationists' main misconceptions. Allow, if you will, a quote from Brown University biologist and textbook author - so he should know if anyone does - Kenneth Miller:

"In science, you don't use the word 'theory' about a stupid hunch. Theories explain facts. They tie it together."

Boom, end of story. Facts are what we see happening. Theories try to explain why things happen. Theories are tested and studied and observed until either they are proved valid and become laws or they fall apart under scrutiny. Hell, even laws can be overthrown when new information comes down the pike. A great example is how the science of physics changed from Isaac Newton's laws of the universe to Einstein's relativistic view to quantum mechanics to superstring theory. Neat stuff all of it, and when a scientific theory or law is proved no longer valid, it gets sent to the same dustbin where theories that were never proved valid went.

So, no, evolution isn't a fact. It's a theory. National Geographic had great cover story back in November on just how well evolutionary theory is holding up. In short, it's holding up pretty damn well. Granted, bits and pieces of it have fallen by the wayside and generally replaced with ideas that better explain what we observe. Maybe someday evolution will be proven completely and totally false because a whole new and much better theory comes along.

It won't be proven, however, by a bunch of people who don't know the difference between how scientists use "theory" and how the general public uses it - though I'm inclined the believe they do know and conveniently ignore said discrepancy - nor will it be disproved by people who base their entire concept on one rather inconsistent book.

My challenge to intelligent design fans is simple. Prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt and within scientifically approved boundaries, that an active, involved Creator exists. Then, maybe, we'll get on with some of the rest of the goofy shit you people come up with.

To be fair, this sort of goofiness isn't solely the domain of The South. There's screaming wingdings all over this country, as this story from The Guardian shows. Long story short - because I'm making fun of Georgians, remember - biology teachers at a Pennsylvania high school refused to read a statement that was very similar to the Georgia stickers, highlighting "gaps in the theory". Those rascally scrapple lovers on the school board went one further and offered up "intelligent design" - the fresh coat of paint creationists slapped on their foolishness - as an alternative explanation. The argument goes that, yeah, maybe there was some sort of evolution at work, but life on Earth is far too complex to be completely random. To me, this sounds like that very human trait of thinking that just because the hole is exactly the right size for the puddle, the puddle thinks the hole was made solely for it, all the while rapidly ignoring its own evaporation. Douglas Adams came up with that one, by the way.

Well, if the idea of life on Earth being completely random gives the fundie dingbats the willies, the outside but very possible chance of finding life on Saturn's moon Titan must give them the screamin' fits. Reckon what book of The Bible they'll work that one into.

Random and final thought (no applause, please): isn't it odd that the greatest number of stories concerning alien abduction happen in places like rural Alabama or Pennsylvania where people believe life was created a mere 6,000 years ago? Or am the only one that thinks such things?

Gotta Admit, It'd Answer A Whooole Lotta Questions...

2005-01-13T13:02:00.000-06:00

I guess by now most folks are aware that the White House has more or less admitted that - after two-years and Elvis alone knows how much money - they came up snake eyes when it comes to Weapons Of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Nothing. Not, as our British friends say, a sausage. And so goes the final justification for the war in Iraq. People say Saddam supported terrorists? Well, so do we. Hell, we supported Saddam when he was just a sprout. He wasn't a threat to us, and as for ties to al Qaeda, frankly, we've got as about as much as he ever did. Hell, we pretty much helped lay the groundwork when we supplied the group against the Russians back in the early '80s. And as for those who say Saddam killed and tortured his own people, well, sadly, so are we. By the boatloads. "Well, Saddam would've killed them anyway," is usually what you hear to this little fact. They're still dead, asshole, doesn't matter who killed 'em.

And before I get to my main thought, there are them that say the war is justified because Hussein broke so many U.N. resolutions. Humorously enough - to me, anyway - these are generally the same people who think the U.N. is a worthless organization and should be abolished or at least ignored. I bet this has gotta be drivin' 'em up the wall, too.

Anyhow, my main thought. So we didn't find any WMD's in Iraq after two years of looking. I find this troublesome for one reason and one reason alone: why didn't the people, whoever they are, who had so much to lose if no WMD's show up not plant some? I'm serious. Why didn't the Bush administration plant some fake stockpiles of Kil-O-Deth Nuclear Brand Day Ray Machines or something to at least pretend like there was some justification. I mean, the whole time we're gearing up for this, we've got everyone from Hans Blix to the CIA telling us either there's nothing there or at least give 'em time to look some more.

So why didn't quite possibly the most mendacious and venal administration in my lifetime not try to cover their asses? I'm serious. Karl Rove's supposed to be a fuckin' political genius, right? Dick Cheney's always struck me as a pretty swift cat, if also a complete bastard. These aren't stupid people. This will be bad for them. Maybe not to the True Faithful who're convinced that the Little King was chosen by GAWD to lead the world, under his heel if need be, but the rest of us... yeah, there's a bit of egg on the administration's face, I believe.

Now. How much play is this story getting. I heard it mentioned on NPR this morning, and it got front-page-below-the-fold play in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution with what looks like maybe a 28 or 32 point headline that says "U.S. gives up futile search for banned arms in Iraq". Personally, I think such a story deserves big 124-point letters screaming "FUCK!!!" because that should be what everyone on both sides of the argument should be thinking. Us because - to quote Judith "Fucking" Miller - were proved fucking right on everything and them because the war supporters got took for a serious ride.

Now as to why this bothers me. I don't hate George W. Bush. Don't get to excited because I don't really hate anybody. I don't know if I have it in me. It's not some sort of hippie-dippy "love the world" nonsense; I just can't generate the energy to waste that much emotion on someone. If you're messing with my stroke, sure, I'll work until you're removed from the equation, but that's not the same thing as hate. I think Bush has been a horrible president without one, single redeeming accomplishment in four years on the job - that includes policies that I disagree with, failed policies and flat-out lies like No Child Left Behind - but that's not the same thing as hate.

Frankly, I see Bush as a spoiled rich kid. Not a bright guy, mind you, and not a guy you'd want to spend too much time in close quarters with, but basically an okay cat. Just a dude, ya know? He strikes me as the guy at the party you basically avoid beyond a simple "hello" and maybe some meaningless small talk - because he's kind of a jerk, frankly - but not someone who'd make you leave immediately. Arrogant and lazy, sure, but he strikes me as a guy who wants to have fun and have people like him but doesn't recognize when he's being an asshole.

Furthermore, I see him as an empty suit. I see him as a cipher for the rubes what are the type to want a president "they can drink a beer with", with a little "rugged cowboy" bullshit mixed with false piety thrown in for good measure. He's almost a caricature of a politician controlled by the evil puppet masterminds Hollywood seems to like so much. The White House - or so I thought - was controlled by mendacious con-men like Cheney or Rove, yes-men like Rice or Card, or various shades of ideologues like Ashcroft or Rummsfeld or Wolfowitz.

But now I wonder. Maybe, just maybe, Bush really isn't the good-natured-if-arrogant doofus I originally took him to be. Maybe he does control the White House. Maybe when he says "Jump!" they say already know how high. Maybe Bush really is trying to be a no-bullshit-taking, ass-kicking cowboy of God. And he is, apparently, out of his fucking mind and doesn't listen to a single thing anyone says that he doesn't want to hear.

And that, my fellow celestials, gives me pause.

Just Making Sure The Bar's Still Stocked...

2005-01-13T06:14:00.000-06:00

Because some were concerned - more than one, which sorta surprised me, to be quite honest - this is just a little note to let whoever cares know that I'm still above ground. Unfortunately, it appears the muse is taking the first of the year off. So it goes.

And so I bring you this, the coolest website that isn't Wikipedia. It's Joe Kissell's Interesting Thing Of The Day and it's very cool. There's topics ranging from linguistics to geographic oddities to historical anomalies to unusual pastimes. This is the place where I discovered one of my current obsessions, holomodel theory. Mr. Kissell's is an author, consultant and software developer who lives out in San Francisco. Here is his blog. Sunday was his birthday. I don't know the man from Adam's house cat, but his website has given me a number of things that have made pleasantly dizzy for an afternoon - and one topic that keeps me awake at night pondering it's implications (the holomodel thing) - so, in the grand tradition of Kornfield County, I say "sal-ute!"

And On The Sixth Day, The Prophet Jughead Spake...

2004-12-31T01:40:00.000-06:00

When I was a kid, I was madly in love with comic books. Spider-Man was my favorite. I loved the Avengers and the X-Men. I thought Batman was incredibly cool. I also had a love for the lesser-known heroes like Banshee or Hawkeye or The Question or The Creeper. I took great pride in being one of the few sixth graders who knew what "omnipotent" meant.

When I was about 15, I quit reading comics. For one, I discovered, finally, that girls were extremely interesting. Secondly, I got into the newspaper business, which proceeded to eat up my life for the next 10 years. However, the real killing stroke was that, frankly, the books got bad. If you know comics, you know what I mean when I say the early '90s were a particularly bad time for comics, and it really hasn't gotten much better.

Sure, there's good stuff. There always is. I was pleasantly surprised at how good the recent and much-anticipated "Justice League versus The Avengers" came off, even if the four-issue series seemed a bit rushed. I keep up. Marvel has killed off Hawkeye as a part of an incomprehensibly stupid plot to make the Avengers more like the JLA and is bending to what movie goers think - i.e. Spider-Man produces his webbing from his body rather than through mechanical means, like it's been for nearly forty years - and from what I understand, DC is just bad apart from the Batman books. Still, the new "Justice League Unlimited" cartoon is pretty darn cool, so check it out if you can.

As a kid, I also had some of these. They are, in short, Christian comics, like the ever-popular Jack Chick Tijuana Bible-style tracts you find in fine truck stops everywhere. However, Spires made full-length books like "Hansi: The Girl Who Loved The Swastika" and "On The Road With Andrae Crouch". I remember owning "The Cross And The Switchblade" and "In The Presence Of Mine Enemies: 7 Years a POW In Hanoi! The True Story Of A U.S. Pilot And His Wife!", which is a helluva mouthful for a title. The stories were trite, even to a 10-year-old country boy, the art was sub par, and the theology was heavy-handed and simplistic. That's that, basically.

However, I said all that to say all this: if you do nothing else in your life, click here to read the Gospel According To Archie. I am not kidding. The best part is when Sheriff Archie tells Jughead, playing his "faithful Indian companion Pronto" - as always, I am not making this up - that the local schoolmarm - a still-hot Betty - has been having problems since "they started to bus students across the prairie!!!"

Terry Pratchett said it best: multiple exclamation marks are the surest sign of a sick mind.

Oddly Enough, The Literacy Rate Won't Be Affected

2004-12-30T14:41:00.000-06:00

This isn't a new story, but it's well worth repeating. Seems there's this state legislator from Alabama - where else? - who's trying to pass a bill that would "ban the use of state funds to purchase any books or other materials that 'promote homosexuality'" or "support 'positive depictions of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle.

So that means, of course, no Heather Has Two Mommies or Daddy's New Roommate, but it also means no Tennessee Williams or Alice Walker, no "A Chorus Line," and maybe no Shakespeare. What to do with all those books and plays and films and pieces of music? "Dig a hole," recommends Allen, "and dump them in it."

Charming. Now, there's a way for dear 'ol Alabamy to shake that image of being a bass-ackwards state full of thick-headed knuckle draggers. Sure, that'll go over well. Don't like what a book says? Well, I suppose you could just not read it, and if you had a problem with your kids reading it, maybe you could explain to them why you didn't want them reading it. But, nah, that takes effort. Might as well just ban 'em. Even in universities, where one would hope there'd be a little more room for other ideas and concepts.

Allen, of course, says it isn't censorship. He compares it to a stoplight, but apparently forgetting that to get a "green light", there would have to be new legislation introduced into Alabama's already bloated constitution. He also says that maybe some classic stuff like the Bard could be "changed" and all the "gayness" in "Romeo And Juliet" or "As You Like It" could be taken out or toned down. This is, of course, a not-so-fresh idea, except it used to be called bowdlerizing.

And, of course, Allen is convinced that the morality of America is under attack from Hollywood and the music industry. Insidious teachers and librarians are plotting in Gordo and Gu-winn and Anniston to twist young Alabamian minds by "re-engineering society's fabric". We have to act now, he says, to "save society from moral destruction". He is, of course, "thinking of the children", who are apparently so fragile they have to be protected from things that scare the grown-ups.

Now, do I even need to go into any sort of detail about what sort of rather shaky ground the whole concept of "America is a moral nation" has been on since the get go? I realize yay-hoos like Allen are trying to drag this country and its people kicking and screaming back into a "golden age", but the sad, sorry fact is such an age never existed. Sure, maybe certain people were much better off than, well, everyone else, but rich white men having to share stuff now doth not a paradise lost make. To anyone who really thinks this was ever a moral country, I recommend reading a little on how early immigrants were treated or slavery or the genocide of American Indians, and then shutting the fuck up.

Now. My mother has this idea that's almost charming in its naivety. It is this: all 11 state referendums against gay marriage popped up all on their own and were in no way influenced by outside forces, much less outside people. She actually believes that not a one of 'em were following Bush's lead, despite him championing an amendment to the United States Constitution that would outlaw gay marriage. Bless her heart.

Allen's book-dumping wishes are much the same thing. I ain't saying he's getting his marching orders from Karl Rove - though he has met with the Little King five separate times concerning this issue - but he admits the successful push against gay marriage by sexually repressed, hate-filled assholes - okay, he didn't say it like that, though - showed him that "moral values" was money in the bank, politically speaking. Probably otherwise, too.

And he's running with it. Even though he couldn't, when pressed by the interview, come up with a specific instance where such a bill would be "needed", even by his own Puritan standards. Hell, he even missed the gay parts in the aforementioned Shakespeare plays, though I'd be flat shocked if he'd seen either. Nor, Allen admits, is the proposed bill all that precise. Most things, he says "would be worked out in committee stage". Maybe ol' Willie S. will get a free pass.

Now, the really funny part. I told my brother, a graduate of the very fine University Of North Alabama in Florence, about all this and how this ding-dong in Alabama wanted to ban books in university libraries to protect school children. Know what he said? "I don't see what they're so worried about. It's not like kids in Alabama read." I guess I should admit that neither one of us care much for the state, but that's how it goes. Course, we're from Mississippi, so we probably shouldn't say much.

How Does One Say "My Penis Is Larger Than Yours" in French?

2004-12-30T13:26:00.000-06:00

Oy.

In a nutshell, French and American officials have apparently gotten into something of a dick-measuring contest in regards to disaster relief for the Asian tsunami victims. First, everyone in America apparently swallows the whole "U.N. slams U.S. for being stingy" meme the Washington Times pumped the other day, including a pot-shot at the French by U.S. Agency for International Development chief Andrew Natsios on a FOX News (natch) interview. The USAID distributes American aid, and Natsios said most French donations are generally loans.

This, of course, torked the French off, and Foreign Ministry spokesman Herve Ladsous said France gives more development aid than all other members of the G8, including the U.S., proportionally to its economic output. The upshot of all this is the U.S. has upped the ante with its $35 million pledge, saying it's just a "start", and French President Jacques Chirac ordered his nation's donation be doubled to $60 million.

So, the French and us are spending boatloads of money to help people so they can, basically, say "nyah-nyah, we're better than you". I find this immensely gratifying, for some reason, much like I enjoy the idea of suburban white people losing money at casinos owned by American Indian tribes.

There’s just a sense of cosmic rightness to it, ya know?

The Luckiest People In The Universe

2004-12-30T13:07:00.000-06:00

Now, here's a helluva note. Seems this couple from the United States was vacationing in Thailand when the tsunami hit this weekend. Specifically, the couple - Faye Wachs and her husband Eugene Kim - was scuba diving when, apparently, the big wave went over them. As a matter of fact, the couple didn't know what had actually happened until the dive master - the cat running the scuba show - got a text message from his wife.

Now, ain't that something. The couple spent the last couple of days in Thailand trying to get out, of course, but helping along where they could and how they could. Says Ms. Wachs in an email to her mother:

I can't describe carrying a moaning person who just saw his girlfriend killed down a hill in the middle of the night. I saw more bodies than I care to report. The hotel where we were staying is mostly gone. We lost everything, but our lives.

Indeed, Wachs and Kim are luckier than Pauly Shore and they know it. Whole lot of folks ain't. The death toll has passed 80,000 with a bullet and that's before disease and water contamination sets in, which it inevitably will.

But here's where the story gets funny... well, to me, anyway. Although other nation's governments set up booths to greet nationals who'd been afflicted and help them get back home, the U.S. government did no such thing. The couple had to track down officials from the American consulate, who were apparently in the VIP lounge. Wachs and Kim lost all they had on the trip (except for one thing, which we'll get to momentarily), so they had to get new passports issued.

And, of course, U.S. officials demanded payment for the pictures, Ms. Wachs said. Luckily, the one thing the couple held on to was their ATM card. They were able to get cash for the photos and help out some other Americans.

Ain't that a helluva note. Anyhow, here's another site if anyone feels the need to do some donatin'. Again, do what you can.

A Virus With Digital Watches...

2004-12-29T01:21:00.000-06:00

Reuters is reporting the death toll from the tsunami that hit Southeast Asia the day after Christmas has hit 68,000. Read that again. Over 68,000 men, women and children of all ages, political ideology, sexual orientation, religion and walks of life are gone like Hank Williams. That's three times the number of people in my home county in Mississippi, Itawamba County. It's three-fifths the population of my current home, Athens, Georgia.

And they're all dead. Wow.

You may or may not know the tsunami was caused by an earthquake that registered a solid 9.0 on the scale. Sunbathers were washed from the beach. A baby was washed from her father's arms. Ritual bathers celebrating Full Moon Day were swallowed like so many oysters. The earthquake itself was enough to "slightly alter the rotation of the Earth".

Again, wow.

Now, of course, we've all heard of this event. It's been all over the news, granted it didn't manage to knock Christmas stuff off my folks' television news, but nevertheless it's on the news. Horrible? Sure, without a doubt. Should we, both as a nation and as simply decent people, do whatever we can to help the folks who've been through this? No doubt, despite the administration's rather tight purse strings on the matter.

But here's the thing. People didn't do this. This wasn't terrorists or insurgents or even a military "lawfully invading another country", whatever the hell that means. Nope, this was that beautiful but awfully moody lady Mother Nature what done it. Sixty-eight thousand people dead and no one to bomb. And there wasn't a damn thing we coulda done to stop it, frankly. She gets the urge to wipe the stain of mankind from her flesh, Mother Nature won't pay much attention to our concerns over the matter.

Want some more encouraging news for the New Year? Scientists say an 400-meter asteroid has a good chance of striking the earth in 2029. So, not only is our own planet against us from the get-go, the rest of the universe could care less about our little hopes, dreams and new DVD players. Happy New Year!

Seriously, there's a really good reason I bring all this unpleasant news up. On this, the third stone from the Sun, people have a problem, or a number of problems, really. People are unhappy. People are scared. People are confused. People are generally disagreeable to each other on a daily basis. People think they can be happy if they have money or toys or control over other people or a steady stream of other people having sex with them on a regular basis. Then, the people get up the next morning and wonder why they're still unhappy.

I don't have the answer, really, and I can't say that I'm completely and totally fulfilled with my life. No one is and I'd wager to guess no one ever will be. I have found, however, that life is generally much more enjoyable if you don't let it scare you or confuse you or make you unhappy, but rather make an effort to enjoy it. It sounds impossible - and it isn't totally effective, I will admit - but it's much easier than most think.

I've got a very simple philosophy for life: it's all you're given, so you might as well enjoy it as much as possible while you got it. Barring responsibilities and activities necessary for general upkeep like work, I try to do only what I enjoy. Hear people all the time all put out because they told a friend s/he would drive said friend to the airport or help that friend move. Simple answer to that: if you don't want to do it or, at least, don't mind doing it, don't do it. Bitching about it afterwards just makes you sound like a whiner and really doesn't say much for your worth as a friend, to be quite frank.

I just got back from spending time with my family back in Mississippi, and I had a rather nice visit, thank you so much for asking. To be honest, I don't like the drive home, nor do I look forward to spending that much time around my kinfolk, good folks they may be. However, it makes Momma happy. It makes Mommaw (maternal grandmother for those of y'all who are not cultured enough to know who "Mommaw" is). It makes one or two aunts, uncles and/or cousins happy, depending on what family crisis is kicking up at the moment. I got a big, extended country family who all live within a square mile of my grandmother and they think family gatherings are the wasp's nipples. I, however, don't.

But I do it anyway. It doesn't take much out of me and it makes some of the few folks in this world that are very important to me very happy. Otherwise, I do what makes me happy. I read. I listen to music. I write. I surf the Internets. I smoke pot. I watch movies. I go see bands. I smoke more pot. I enjoy life as much as I possibly can because it's awfully short. Just as one person isn't the sum total of humanity, humanity is only a small part of the Living Earth. Whether we like it or not, and it can all end without even a sliver of our involvement and there might not be a damn thing we can do about it.

So, enjoy life while you can. It's over before you know it. And since this is called by some the "season of giving", here's a place to go to give to help the folks in Southeast Asia who's need is the most desperate. Here's a list of some other good organizations trying to help. Check 'em out and do what you can.

UPDATE:

The always engaging and entertaining Bryan Zepp Jamison has a few words on the matter as well, and as usual, he says things much better than I ever could.

Well, At Least It's Not Alabama This Time...

2004-12-22T16:37:00.000-06:00

Picked this up via the comments section at Atrios' place. Seems a young lady in Lexington, Kentucky, is suing her school district for barring her from her senior prom. Must've been a pretty big deal, huh, seeing as the prom's such an event. Turns out, they barred her from that rather unpleasant high school to-do - in my opinion, anyway, but I got thrown out of my prom - because she wore a dress styled as a large Confederate battle flag. That's right, she came to the shindig all dolled up in the Klan flag.

Jacqueline Duty, 19, filed a lawsuit - with the support and financial backing of The Sons Of Confederate Veterans (none of which really are, of course) - in U.S. District Court saying Greenup County district and administrators violated her First Amendment rights by barring her dress at the predominately white Russell High School's prom. Duty says she worked on the design for four years, which seems to me a helluva long time, to be quite honest, to spend on a damn dress. She's seeking actual and punitive damages in excess of $50,000, even though she was told well in advance the dress was not allowed at the prom. Lovely. In other words, she knew it would stir up shit and she went and did it anyway. Here's another little dollup of wisdom from the lass:

Everyone has their own opinion [if the flag is offensive]. But that's not mine. I'm proud of where I came from and my background.

Okay, let's think about that for a bit. She's proud of what the flag represents. Does that mean she's proud of the Klan and Night Riders? Is she proud of Jim Crow laws? Segregation? Lynchings? The exclusiveness and overwhelming racism that pervades every iota of Southern culture, in some form or another, to this day? And despite all the other very valid reasons, when you get right down to it, the Civil War was fought by the South to keep in place an economic system that kept actual human beings in slavery. End of story.

And as a side note, it's an eternal pet peeve of mine that the battle flag is considered a symbol of the whole South. It was the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia, not the entire Confederacy. Nit-picking, I know, but what can I say. Hell, the only reason it's a "symbol of what the South stands for" is because of the struggle against the Civil Rights movement in the '50s and '60s.

In any event, you can’t have one without the other. You can’t fly the flag and say it represents Southern pride without acknowledging that it also represents a whole lot of Southern shame, as well. In fact, I’d say it’s more a symbol of the South’s dirty history than any sort of anchor of regional loyalty. There’s plenty of black folks in the South, and it amazes me to think that anyone seriously things that familiar stars ‘n’ bars symbol carries any positive connotation for them. How could it? Why would they want to honor something that was flown by people who thought them less than animals for so long and, many, still do? Boggles my mind.

Full disclosure time. I used to be a flag waver. Like a whole lot of people, I want to belong to some group, and since the South never really had the sense of ethnic and national community the North had - i.e., Italian neighborhoods, Irish neighborhoods, etc. - I, like most other white Southerners, saw myself as a Southerner first and everything else second.

I was also a teenager. And wrong. I'm still a Southerner and will be one to the day I die, I reckon, but it's no longer the end-all and be-all of my existence. But, that's pretty much why there's still a very strong pro-South movement - in terms of "fuck you, we're different" sorta mindset - in the South today. People want to belong to something, it's just natural. And, frankly, there's nothing wrong with being proud of where you came from, but you have to recognize all the facets of your home, not just what you choose to believe is positive. Whether it is or isn't positive is, of course, another matter.

I've got to be honest. I don't really think much of "identity politics" of any stripe, whether it's dingbat girls in Kentucky dressing like Miss Kleagle 2004 or black/Latino/Asian/Eskimo pride. What you are racially, geographically and nationally isn't something to be proud of or ashamed of, really, because it's something you had absolutely nothing to do with. Seriously. I'm proud of getting a college degree - first non-teacher in my family to do so - because that's something I accomplished. I'm not proud to be white or Southern or even American simply because my Old Man decided not to pull out at the opportune moment. Be proud of what you do and what you accomplish, not what you look like or where you’re born. Acknowledge your history, study the past but live in the present. And for cryin’ out loud, quit pretending that everything “your” people did was wonderful. It wasn’t, and that goes doubly for Southerners. We shouldn’t beat ourselves over the sins of our fathers but we also shouldn’t pretend like those sins never happened.

The final funny bit to the whole story is the name of Miss Duty's lawyer. Guy's name is Earl-Ray Neal. Well, of course it is.

One Of The Most Brilliant Things I've Ever Seen

2004-12-22T11:38:00.000-06:00

This is awesome. It's called Audi-Oh. It cost about seventy bucks. It is, in a nutshell, a vibrator that picks up and reacts to sound waves. If you have to ask exactly what it stimulates with those sound-wave induced vibrations, you probably aren't old enough to read this blog.

It's also got two modes, Ambient and Direct. Ambient picks up just any old sound wave, like a person laughing or music at a club or, if you're a real masochist, the network news. This, dear hearts, is brilliant, especially if one attends a lot of club shows. Nine times out of ten, whatever band's opening for whatever band one came to see isn't worth the energy it'd take to beat them into silence. However, with this doo-dad, I'd imagine they'd become more than just tolerable. And hey, ever been to a poetry reading that was enthralling and enlightening? Me neither, but I imagine this could at least make it interesting.

And then there's the Direct mode, where you plug Audi-Oh into your CD player or MP3 player and, I suppose, yourself. As someone who does little more than sit around listening to music, I must say, this sounds incredibly intriguing. I'm probably lucky I don't have the money to waste on it or I might not ever leave the house. And if you don’t understand how a mane could get use out of a vibrator, you really aren’t old enough to be reading this blog.

So, yeah, it's probably a little late for Christmas, but it would make the perfect gift for that perverted music fan you know (and we all know one, and if we don't, we are one). But I say "pah" on gifts solely at Christmas. Give your friends gifts whenever you want to because they're your friends, not because some yay-hoos decided you only gave on certain days.

I've got at least three or four female friends that would find this gadget... well, let's just say they'd get a whole lot of use out of it, bless their hearts.

Hard Candy Christians

2004-12-19T19:18:00.000-06:00

With his usual aplomb and wit, Frank Rich shows just why the whole fundie Christian dual whines of persecution and folks being "against Christmas" is so much bullstuff. And, as usual, he says the whole thing much better than I could. So go read him and then come back for my drivel.

Now. Here's the thing about fundie Christians like Jerry Falwell and James Dobson getting major airtime on the talking head shows. It isn't because this nation, spiritually speaking, is moving further to the right. It may be, of course, but that ain't why these dingbats are getting airtime and calm, reasoned and, above all, non-fundie nutball Christians aren't.

It's because the fire and brimstone crowd is just that much more entertaining. Think about it. What would you rather here, a message of love and tolerance and acceptance - like the Swingin' Nazz preached - or some fat guy in a bad suit wailing that the queers and feminists are trying to take over the country and place good, God-fearing Christians into breeding camps so the Jews can have fresh babies to eat daily. That shit is box office, baby, and television producers know it. It's the same reason screeching harpies like Ann Coulter and Pat Buchanan still have careers outside of circus geek tents.

And the Christmas thing. I am so very tired of hearing this. Christmas isn't under attack, no matter what dead horse Bill O'Reilly is flogging to try to distract his viewers from the fact he's a raging nitwit. Christmas is in fine shape for what it is. It's just a holiday and the only reason it's a big deal is because we have made it so. Calm down.

Admittedly, I'm not one to engage in much Christmas spiriting. I'm not religious, so that's right out the door, and frankly, I really don't swallow the meme that this is a time for joy and love and kindness. Go to any shopping center in this country and watch folks for 10 minutes. These are not people all ate up with feelings of good tidings. These are miserable bastards. And frankly, I've never quite understood why this is the only time of the year people are supposed to be nice to each other. Why can't we do it the rest of the year, too?

Still and all, it strikes me as continually odd that in a country where they hold a definite majority - not every Christian thinks the same, of course, but there's definitely more Christians than there ain't - the fundies have to whine loud and long about how persecuted they are. There are still parts of this world where one can get killed by the government for being Christian, and the United States isn't such a place.

Hey, here's an idea. Instead of pissing and moaning that not everyone thinks your Bible-thumping balderdash is the greatest thing since electric guitars, why not actually follow some of those teachings laid down by the Late J.C. Show some love and compassion to those who aren't on your side. Help folks out. Lay a little of that Christian charity on a poor soul who's cast out in the cold winds of the world. Bring a little love into the world.

In other words, my fundie friends...practice what you preach.

Ah, They Never Fail To Entertain...

2004-12-15T13:56:00.000-06:00

Man, I love Alabama.

Check this out. Apparently, Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan showed up to court wearing a robe that had the Ten Commandments embroidered on the front in gold. The Covington County judge said he feels the Big Ten represents "the truth" and can help a judge know right from wrong. He also, of course, doesn't believe his robe will have an adverse effect on jurors, purposely choosing a lettering size that wouldn't "be in anybody's face". Sure.

Now, here's the funny part. The case McKathan was hearing was a DUI and, apparently, no one saw the robe in question until the case started. The defending attorney filed a pair of motions, one objecting to the robe and one asking that the case be continued. Shockingly, McKathan denied both motions. And, of course, future presidential candidate Roy Moore offers his full support of McKathan. In case you've forgotten, Moore's the dingbat former Alabama Chief Justice who got the boot in 2003 for placing a gigantic goddamn statue of the Ten Commandments on the grounds of the Alabama Judicial Building in Montgomery. Says Big Roy, "It is time for our judiciary to recognize the moral basis of our law."

Now, I'm not going to get into the argument of whether the Ten Commandments is the "moral basis of our law". Personally, I really don't think so, seeing as how we don't have laws outlawing adultery or businesses being open on Sunday, but it's really neither here nor there. And, for what it's worth, the whole discussion concerning the merits of Christianity as a moral philosophy really isn't germane to the discussion. There's a lot to like and dislike in Christianity - I'm rather fond of the whole "do unto others" idea but I don't care for the whole "casting sinners into the lake of fire" thing. But it's really not the issue.

What is the issue is, apparently, some folks in the Heart Of Dixie feel the need to beat folks over the head with their religion. This whole Ten Commandments-in-public-places argument is flat-out silly. It's just a list, beloved, and it's a list way too many Christians decided to ignore. Hell, if we based laws on the Ten Commandments, the entire economic system would collapse because you wouldn't get far in the world of big business holding fast to the idea of "thou shall not steal"? And just what is "coveting" if it isn't wanting what the other guy has? Isn't that what we work ourselves to the bone, day in and day out? I won't even get into the whole "thou shall not kill" and how American society wouldn't dig that at all.

To be honest, whenever I see someone like this yay-hoo making a big ruckus about the trappings of his personal faith and insisting it be put in places where it isn't relevant, I think one thing. I think to myself, "Now there's a guy who's not really sure if what he believes is for real or not." And frankly, considering the parts of the Ten Commandments that do groove with U.S. law, who wants a judge that needs to be "reminded" that killing, stealing, adultery and bearing false witness are wrong?

My eternal reminder to folks like McKathan, Moore and others who want me to believe in their god mainly because they say so is simple. Live you’re life like you preach. Don’t just preach. Don’t just tell me you’re right, prove it. Simple enough, but I guess it’d take too much effort. As they say, talk is much cheaper.

Thanks to my buddy Jen for the heads-up.

There's A Reason I Don't Like Dating...

2004-12-15T01:17:00.000-06:00

This may be the single dumbest thing I've heard since the last White House press gaggle.

Allow me to summarize. Apparently, yay-hoos in Chicago are paying fifty bucks an hour to a company that supplies them with "wingmen" for a night out. A wingman - or woman, as the case sometimes may be - is a buddy who runs interference when a young swain notices an object of desire at a local drinkery. The story claims such folks are used to "break the ice" between the potential lovebirds, but that's horsefeathers. Wingmen take care of the "ugly and/or fat chicks" so the other lame asshole can score with the brain-dead girl he's drooling over.

And the Associated Press decided to waste space and money on this. And I decided to blog about it. What a world. Frankly, I never cared much for the whole dating thing in the first place and have never, ever played the wingman just so's whatever friend I'm with can hook up with whoever he or she wishes to hook up with. Sure, I've wound up talking to the friend, but it was always done mainly so I'd have someone to talk to whilst my friend was trotting out some tired line on her friend. So, maybe that counts, I don't know.

In any event, the whole concept reeks of extreme silliness to me, cast into even sharper relief by the revelation that people are posting online ads looking for wingpeople to accompany them on the Hunt. Granted, again, the whole dating thing never really rang true to me (or worked for me, if I'm to be totally honest), so what do I know?

There always seemed to me a certain level of dishonesty in dating. Even if the parties have known each other for quite a while, go on that first date, and one inevitably finds oneself engaging in the tiniest of falsehoods. Not out and out lying, of course - well, hopefully not - but definitely acting on one's "best behavior", which generally isn't how one usually acts. It's always little things, of course, but those little things can become significant, especially if the relationship progresses.

But, of course, anyone who flies with a wingman really isn't looking for a mother to his potential children. He's looking for a warm hole for the night. Me, I don't care for one-night stands - mainly because I can't find it within myself to maintain that level of bullshit long enough to entice a sweet young thang back to my boudoir - but as long as everyone's willing and careful, hell, let 'er rip.

I wonder, though, if the whole "wingman" phenomenon - the wingman itself isn't a new creation, of course, but the popularity of the concept is - isn't indicative of the problems facing modern Americans when it comes to getting horizontal on a regular and relatively stable basis. I admittedly don't know much about women - and any guy who tells you he does is lying through his teeth - but I do know they really aren't that different from men. We all want the same things - love, physical pleasure, happiness, the feeling of being needed/wanted/desired, etc. - but society does enforce certain roles, and despite the whole Sexual Revolution hoo-hah, we're still playing the same roles our forefathers and mothers played. To some extent or another, anyway, we're still clubbing women over the head and dragging 'em back to the cave.

Personally, I find it hard to picture the whole mating thing as a competition or "war of the sexes". We basically want the same thing, right? So why does it have to be a struggle? Why can't people be honest with both themselves and the person they want to make the sign of the triple-finned catfish with. Elsewhere on this site, I gave advice to the ladies when it comes to dealing with cats. Now, I shall attempt the do the same for the fellas. It'll be much shorter, too.

Don't look at a woman, no matter how pretty or charming or sexy she is, as something to be "won". One way or another, you always wind up the loser. Women aren't trophies, though admittedly, some do act like it. Brothers, avoid these women like you'd avoid going to the dentist. It may sound a bit crude, but the best way I've found of getting a woman worth the time and effort is finding someone you at one time want to hang out with and have sex with. It's a delicate balance and I'll admit I ain't got it quite figured out yet, but that's what makes the most sense to me.

Of course, I haven't had a date in almost two years, so what do I know? And for those of you who are interested in what passes for my sex life (and there is a disturbing number who do), I got some good news for you. I met a very charming, intelligent and attractive woman at a party this weekend. She listened to me ramble for almost an hour on the various topics that wander past my mind, and seemed to be fairly enraptured (which is, believe you me, a rare thing).

However, at the time, I was full of several herbs and spices, and my brain was somewhere in Calabi-Yau space. So I failed to get "digits", as the kids are so found of saying, nor do I have any idea of what I said that was so fascinating. I'm not sure which is more disappointing, frankly.

However, he name is Candy and she has light blue hair, which is, I suppose, something to go on.

More Proof The Web Was Made For Stoners

2004-12-10T17:43:00.000-06:00

If you're like me, you love the internet. You use it for research and entertainment, but mainly for wasting huge amounts of time.

Also, if you're like me, you smoke a rather healthy amount of pot on a regular, if not daily basis.

Therefor, you need to visit this website. It will keep you occupied for hours.

The Best Movie Reviews In The World

2004-12-10T16:59:00.000-06:00

Flick Skinny

I'm not a man given easily to superlatives, but Clint and Jeremy are some of the funniest sons of bitches I've ever run across. I agree with my old compadre Emerson: all critics should be cartoonists. Might as well; they're all basically cartoon characters, anyway.

A Plethora Of Stupidity

2004-12-10T16:04:00.000-06:00

For those who aren't hip, every year media critic Norman Solomon, along with Jeff Cohen of Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting compile a list of the most egregious examples of cowardliness, small-mindedness and out-and-out incompetence in the U.S. mainstream media.

So, without further ado, here's the 13th Annual P.U.-litzer Prizes, for the foulest media performances of 2004. Well, a link to it, anyway.

Enjoy!

Supporting The Troops

2004-12-10T15:10:00.000-06:00

Robert Loria, a 27-year-old specialist in the U.S. Army, served in Iraq. Last February, he lost his left hand and forearm in Baqubah, a town 40 miles north of Baghdad, when a bomb went off. After recuperating at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington D.C., he was released back to Fort Hood, Texas.

And, apparently, he's gonna have to borrow money to get to his Middletown, Texas, home because the Army says Loria owes them about $2,000 in medical and travel expenses, among other things. Let me write that again. This kid, with a wife and a three-year-old son, got his left arm blown off in Iraq and now owes the military two grand. Oh, and the also confiscated his last paycheck, because the original total was over $6,000.

Lest we forget, brother and sister liberals, we're the ones who "hate the troops". Check the link, y'all, for there are ways you can help out. We shouldn't have to, though. This is beyond an insult.

Well, Instant Karma's Apparently Getting Someone...

2004-12-10T14:39:00.000-06:00

Here's a fairly interesting website. In short, it's a database of rock, rap and pop songs used in television commercials. I got this from a Mark Morford column from the San Francisco Gate more or less bemoaning the use of rock songs to sell less-than-rocking products, like Zeppelin's "Rock & Roll" to sell a Cadillac sedan or the Stones' "Start Me Up" to sell the horrid Windows 95. There's some fairly interesting ones listed. One that springs to mind is, of course, Iggy Pop's hustling-for-smack-money magnum opus "Lust For Life" to hawk, of all things, Carnival Cruise Lines. One that strikes me particularly is ESPN's use of Tom Petty's "Runnin' Down A Dream" to promote baseball. If I recall correctly, ol' Tom had a lot of problems with the music industry back in the day and, though the particular album title escapes me - I wanna say Southern Accents - he threatened to title one album $8.99 as a protest against rising record costs.

Also fairly interesting is the number of Aerosmith songs used in ads, most recently "Dream On" for Buick. Now, it's interesting because, prior to the Boston quintet's massive success in the late '90s (but just after its resurgence following 1993's rather tepid Get A Grip), Steve and the boys vowed never to sell a song for an ad. It happens, I suppose. Dylan swore up and down he'd never sell a song for advertising purposes, but he did. And, no, it wasn't "Feel My Love" to Victoria's Secrets that broke his cherry; it was, of all things, "The Times They Are A-Changin'" to, of all things, an accounting firm.

Now, I'm of two minds on this. First, this isn't really a new thing. Bob Wills had a band called the Light Crust Doughboys and blues harpist Rice "Sonny Boy Williamson II" Miller fronted an outfit called the King Biscuit Boys after their respective sponsors. Back in the day, a whole lot of musicians got their start on 15-minute radio shows sponsored by some business or another, and invariably had to hawk the sponsor's product. Ray Charles hawked Coca-Cola way before Diet Pepsi was "the Right One". So did Otis Redding. I've got an awesome ten-disc boxset of Hank Williams that has him hawking all sorts of stuff - including a "How To Write Country & Folk Music" book you know he didn't write - and that's not even including his "Health & Happiness" shows pushing what boiled down to snake oil medicine.

So, decry the commercialization of music all you want, it's not a new thing. And despite what you may or may not think about the "purity" of rock & roll (or music in general), it is at the end of the day a job, and musicians have to make a living. I don't behoove them if they pass a tune or two to someone to make a little extra cash, particularly since the last person to get paid in the music industry is invariably the musician him/herself. And don't forget that a lot of times - especially in the cases of '70s bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd - the artists has little or no say in just how their music is used. Skynyrd, for instance, got basically nothing for all its classic tunes from its heyday up until recently because of the moronic contracts the band members signed. Granted, most of 'em couldn't read, so they didn't know any better.

As an aside, if I can give any advice to musicians, it's this: the club owners, the businessmen, the managers and the label heads don't care about you or your "art". They will screw you over. Go into the game with that little bit of knowledge, and at least you'll have a fighting chance. Steve Albini has said it much better than I ever could, so go read his words.

On the flipside, there is something...distasteful, I suppose, about musicians who preach rebellion of any form yet sign on to the Corporate Beast. A lot of folks haven't, of course. Bruce Springsteen reportedly turned down a $10 million opening offer from Chrysler, as well as boatloads of cash from other corporate sponsors back in the '80s when he was bigger than God. As in most places, folks like Joan Jett, Neil Young and John Mellencamp remain hard-asses in this area - Young's notable for his hilarious lampoon of corporate sponsorship with the "This Note's For You" video that got MTV in such a tizzy back when it actually showed videos. Jello Biafra had a helluva time after he refused to allow some Levi-Strauss the use of "Holiday In Cambodia" to sell khakis. In fact, it caused him no end of enmity between Jello and his former Dead Kennedy bandmates because, apparently, they were all for it, despite making a career of anti-corporatism with their music.

And as big a whackadoodle as he is, Prince has my ever-lasting respect for not cashing in big time on "1999" back when he could've made sick amounts of money from it. Now, don't get me wrong. I love Prince, but he's crazier than a fox squirrel. Most geniuses are.

I'm a big fan of the Myth of Rock & Roll. Not all of it, but most of it. I don't think it's a force for change or rebellion, but I do think it can succor for the wounded soul and an excellent way to keep from having to grow up. But it - and by extension music - isn't a "sacred thing". It's like everything else, really, in that in can be used as a commodity. As a musician, I doubt I've made more than a grand playing, but I've always had a real good time, which is basically what I'm shooting for when I strap on the ol' Fender Jazz Bass. Course, I ain't nor shall I ever attempt to make a living out of music, so it's okay for me to say such things.

And, as Morford points out, using music to sell ads is a damn good way of getting lesser-known artists in the public light. Moby had a decent cult following until he sold a bunch of his songs from 1999's Play for advertising purposes. Now, he's being threatened by Eminem. If that don't mean stardom, I don't know what does. And frankly, I'd love it if more people knew about, say, Nick Lowe or The Beat Farmers or Richard Thompson or Swamp Dogg, and if took using "Total Destruction Of Your Mind" to pimp hamburgers, so be it. I ain’t ashamed to admit that my first real introduction to The Beatles came from Nike’s use of “Instant Karma” in a running shoe ad. In my defense, my folks gave up on rock & roll after Elvis entered the Army and I was raised on country, soul and gospel music, but that’s neither here nor there.

I guess the only problem I have with music being used to sell cars, computers and cruise lines is when an artist - like, say, Aerosmith - says they won't but then they do when ready change is thrown their way. But, as in all things, there's one simple, short rule to follow: "practice what you preach". No one likes a sell out, and you only sell out when you say you won't but turn around and do it anyway.

As a caveat, I guess I should note that Aerosmith lost me when the band started recording maudlin power ballads for inane summer blockbuster movies like Armageddon, but that's just me.

The Ghost Of Tom Joad Still Walks...

2004-12-09T15:46:00.000-06:00

David J. Sirota of The American Prospect brings us this rather excellent little piece via AlterNet. In short, Sirota's idea is that instead of moving to the center to gain victory among America's "average Joe" voters, Democrats - and indeed, progressives and liberals of all stripe - should ignore the wingnuts' advice about pimping god, gays and scary brown people to win elections and head for truly populist messages. To back up his claim, he lists a number of candidates on both sides of the political aisle that went with populist economic messages and won big time, including Democrats in such red-heavy states as Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota and my old Mississippi home.

Me, I think this is just the key. I've said it before and I'll say it again: all that advice the GOP is giving you, Democratic leaders, isn't coming from a real sincere place. When your opposite number is telling you how to defeat him, well...personally, I wouldn't buy apples from such an individual, as it were. But, the populist message - defined here as how national political movements, notably NAFTA, affect local workers - is a winner everytime. And you'd be surprised how many dyed-in-the-wool Republicans will back a crusading Democrat who's taking on a dirty company that's screwing over citizens. It works. Read the story. Learn something.

But, of course, some people aren't getting the message.

Flowery Follow-Up

2004-12-06T16:52:00.000-06:00

A little side note to the post bellow, via our compadre rorschach. Apparently, the Taliban weren't too impressed with the amnesty offer. They threatened to launch a series of attacks during the swearing in of President Hamid Karzai.

Spoilsports.

Ahhh, Democracy's Flower Continues To Bloom...

2004-12-06T16:36:00.000-06:00

Hey, remember Afghanistan? Yeah, I know, it's kinda hard to dredge up that memory these days, especially since everything's so groovy-cool over there. Why, just this weekend newly elected president Hamid Karzai offered to extend amnesty to Taliban militants. Isn't that sweet of him?

The upside, of course, would be a reduced need for troops in that country, which means the Little King could send them to Iraq to fight real terrorists, of course. There is a downside, though. Speaking of the flowering democracy that is Afghanistan, I heard on NPR this morning that the new president of said country - my memory fails me at the moment - is offering a general amnesty to most members of the Taliban. Such a move is said to be seriously hacking off folks in Iran and India, neither of which is fond of Taliban-controlled Pakistan. There's also certain ethnic groups in Afghanistan that caught holy hell while the Taliban was in power that would probably be a bit put out, as well, if the Tally-folks got off scott-free.

Speaking Of Making The Baby Jesus Cry...

2004-12-06T14:41:00.000-06:00

Remember Pat Tillman? The Arizona Cardinals defensive back who gave up a cool $3.6 million to serve in the Army Rangers in Afghanistan, which is where we should be, if we were going to blowing up shit (and we shouldn't be doing that, but that's neither here nor there), that was killed back in April? If you remember, the Army told us Afghan guerillas killed him. Course, I didn't know the guy - neither personally and I don't follow pro football - but he seemed like a helluva cat and, as I said, if we must fight a war, let's fight it in a country that was actually the base for them what attacked us three years ago.

Well, it turns out that was a lie. Tillman was killed by friendly fire. Not only that, he was killed because of a series of mishaps, technical foul ups and flat-out incompetence by the chain of command over Tillman. So, rather than tells us the truth - which is the very least a man who dies for his country (whatever that means) deserves - the United States government and military, with full co-operation from the press, lied to us. Again.

Ain't that a kick in the nuts. Lots of folks in Tillman's platoons have been discharged from the Rangers - but not the Army - and officers responsible have been reprimanded. Well, I guess that's sufficient, isn't it? Should be enough for Tillman's family, shouldn't it? We're at war, so any sort of dissent is tantamount to treason, right?

Wrong. Very, very, very wrong. As I've said many a time before, I've got no great love for the military but I can't bring myself to hate them in uniform. It's not us liberals spitting on the troops, friends and neighbors. If you ever forget that, think of Pat Tillman.